I'm a single mum to a 4 month old baby, I have no support unit at all. At first it was brilliant, i was loving being a mum but that's because I possibly had the most perfect baby, she slept through the night from being 2 weeks old & hardly ever cried. Then it changed! From being about 8 weeks old she began teething so she was a bit teary & grumpy but it was on & off & fairly easy to deal with. Then at 12 weeks she had her second lot of jabs & we had 4 weeks where she pretty much screamed all day & night, not helping with the fact she got a cold so was struggling to breath through her nose. After about 3 weeks of no sleeping & having no break from a screaming baby I had a little meltdown, it was dropping a plate that set me off but I smashed up the kitchen, punched a wall, broke my phone & slammed numerous doors around the house & finally collapsed in a heap on the floor & sobbed - I even contemplated killing myself - all whilst my poor, ill baby cried in her Moses basket. I felt awful & like the worst mother in the world but the only reason I didn't kill myself that day was because I couldn't bare the thought of leaving my precious baby girl all alone, I love her to bits & I hate the thought of her being left with no parents or family, so I pulled myself together & carried on. Soon as her cold had gone & she had gotten over her jabs we had 2 weeks where it went back to just the odd fit where her teeth were hurting, which again was easily solved. Then last week (at 18 weeks old) she had her last lot of jabs & since she has been screaming non-stop again but she also seems to have learnt how to squeal which she does whether she's happy or not. It is the most horrendous noise, sounds like a fucking banshee (mind my language) & no matter what I do. She refuses to go to sleep at night even though she is knackered, she just screams, squeals, pulls her blanket over her head, throws her dummy & teddy around & kicks & head-butts the cot (luckily there's bumpers). I've tried cuddling her but if I try to cuddle her to sleep she try's to throw herself out of my arms & I'm scared I'll end up dropping her. I have no idea how to get the nice little baby I once had back & to stop that horrendous squealing. I can feel myself getting more angry & exhausted, literally living on red bull which I know I shouldn't because I will crash & burn when I stop but it is the only thing giving me the energy & strength to carry on. I feel like the worst mother for getting angry when I know she is feeling a bit rough but I suffer with headaches/migraines & the squealing isn't helping. I have also had the worst earache the past few days. I just want to give up, curl up in the corner & die. I feel like I am a crap, useless, worthless mother & that maybe she would be better off with an adopted family but it hurts me so much to think that because I have so much love for her & deep down I know it's just a rough patch but without any help I just don't know how to carry on. I cry myself to sleep every night, on a few occasions I have got myself that worked up that I hyperventilate, end up shaking, feeling sick & getting really bad stabbing pains in my chest.
Sorry it is so long just wanted to give as much information as I could. Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop the squealing & to settle her down?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
Lone parents
I'm a mother on the edge! HELP ME!
36 replies
SingleMum91 · 20/03/2016 14:59
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.