DH has left me and I need positive stories please

[Gettingthroughthis]

DH has decided he isn't happy with our marriage. He told me this when our baby was 3w and now he is 16w and he has left.

I'm so sad about how the life we had planned (including another baby soon after) has been ruined.

Please can people tell me the positives of being a single mum? It's not the usual you're better off without him as I don't want him to leave, we didn't argue etc (although he did cheat on me towards the end which is heartbreaking but hadn't made me stop loving him)

[CagneynotLacey]

So very sorry to hear what has happened esp when your baby is so little.
Being a single mum is hard work but it is also easier than trying to live with a fuckwit.
You'll have a strong bond with your baby as s/he grows older.
You get to do things your way - there is no OH to contradict you or undermine you.
I would say, though, to get as much as support as you can at this early stage when your baby is so small. The sleepless nights and broken sleep is soooo tiring without adding in the emotional turmoil. Do you have family near you? Friends? Mine are not that nearby - a few hours away - so it's possible to do it alone but make life easy for yourself wherever you can.
You will get through this. You will find strength that you never knew you had and you will be proud that you did it.

[Sunflowersmiling]

Hi, there is light at the end of the tunnel, it sounds like its been really hard but what cagneynotlacey said is so true...much easier to live alone than with a fuckwit.
Im on my own with one child, and still adjusting, but now im over the worst of the shock I kind of like living alone. And my son is really happy and secure. I didnt plan or want to be a single mum...but im determined to make the most of life and dreams can change. The main thing that helped me was the support I got from friends and family...especially in the early days. Plan your days, be kind to yourself and dont be afraid to ask for help from those you trust. Is there someone you know who can look after baby while you get some sleep? Sending you a big HUG x

[Ledkr]

My h left me after 18 years, I had four dc one only a tiny baby.
Yes it was hard BUT, I list two stone, re invented myself, got promoted, travelled with my kids, unimproved my relationships with them, made new friends, partied a lot, kissed a few frogs and laughed like I'd never laughed.
Five years of packing as much fun and adventure as possible.
I embraced single parent hood and was very proud of myself and my little brood.
Then I met dh.
He is amazing and much better than ex.
We have our own little dd and a happy life but I'd have been equally happy to remain alone.

[NotaDragonsEgg]

I just trawled through my watched threads to find you this. Its a good one!

[Molly333]

Mine left when my son was ten months and my daughter six years , now they are 9 and fifteen ,we r still alone ( had boyfriends but they don't measure up enough to disrupt our lives) , they are thriving at school , we have fun and I'm doing a degree!!! My advice is this, cry and cry buckets but time limit it .plan yr day so you sleep v early at night , get out once a day , find other single mums to be yr friends . Be positive ,nobody died you will all still be standing in years to come , he hasn't finished you off , this is your personal journey now , and finally get a positive motivational counseller , that saved my life and turned it round x

[cestlavielife]

remember you don't love him so much as the idea of him and the idea of marriage kids etc - how can you love a cheat?

grieve your marriage end but focus on you and your lovely baby . seek support form friends/family
one day at a time

[misstiredbuthappy]

You will be okay OP as somebody up thread said you will have such a strong bond with you ds, I do with dd not that you wouldnt if you were still married but now you and your ds are a little team, thats what me and dd say and its true.

I agree with molly about trying to get out once a day I went through a phase when dd was little of staying in and it got me in such a rut.

And if you need a chat or a moan we are all here