I'm so miserable at the moment

[rickman]

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[tinyFox]

AWwwwww what's the problem, i think you know my friend charliecat. Don't get too down.

[LadyTophamHatt]

whats the matter rickman??

[rickman]

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[VeniVidiVickiQV]

WHats up. Talk to us.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

ah. am a bit slow....

[Toothache]

Bet his isn't just perfect..... I know how you feel though.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

okay - cut to the chase.....do you want hugs, or do you want a pma talk? I can do both

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Sorry....am i being too flippant

[Lemmingswife]

Oh, rickman.

[LadyTophamHatt]

his life might seem perfect but he's still a w*nkstain.

I know the summer holidays are hard work but all the school mayhem is getting me down...I was surprised to hear myslef say "I can't wait for the holiday to start."


Are you taking the kids anywhere? maybe just being able to doss about all day will make things feel better...I know it does for me.
Roll on Friday and no school runs for 6-7 weeks....

[rickman]

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[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Im sorry. Will behave now.

Easy for me to say, and i have never been in your circumstances, but the way I see it is, you have a path to follow in life. You choose the route, and how you make your journey. THere might be obstacles along the way that are beyond your control. ExP is just one of those.



You need to focus on where YOU are going, not where HE is going and what he is doing. If you keep looking over your shoulder, or behind you - you are just going to lose your way, get lost or bump into alot of things.

You need to pull over. Take stock. The destination has changed now. So has the route. Get your map out, get your focus back, go where YOU want to go, with YOUR family, and plan that route.

Dont let anything else get in your way.

YOu have come this far already. You are doing really well. It probably sucks big time, I dont doubt that. Companionship (if you want it), always crops up when you least expect it. Look for something for you, not someone. Finding somethign for YOU often finds you someone to share your life with in the end...(common/shared interests etc)


xxxxxx

[LadyTophamHatt]

ohhh vvvqv...that's a lovely post.

[rickman]

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[VeniVidiVickiQV]

If it wasnt right for you it wasnt right. Its not about whether you measured up or anything. It just wasnt right. It doesnt mean you have failed.

Its just a delay. Even if things HAVE worked out for him just perfectly, it doesnt matter. Not really.

What do you want to do? Do you want a career? Go to Uni? Move somewhere else that you DO like? Climb a mountain? Swim the channel?

Make a list. See what you think is most important. To YOU.

In fact, post it on here.

We will help sort you out

[mistressmiggins]

Rickamn - you're not seeing the reality - you're seeing the "happy family" that you wanted.

your kids are bound to act up to you - thats where they feel safest
as for ex, his true colours will show one day

it sucks doesnt it - Im in similar situation in that ex is playuing happy families with our children AND with the mistress that contributed to our impending divorce

but you know what? am slowly realising that I dont want him cos he was a crap husband & dad when here & I do deserve better or nothing rather than his negativity

I think VVVQV makes a lot of sense - doesnt matter that she's not been in our situation, she still makes sense...

I guess the thing to do is try to focus on YOU when they are playing happy families - make sure you go out withouth ahving babusitting worries; go to gym; have nails/hair done; read papers in bed & get up in time to welcome kids home

I still find it hard but am definitely getting better

//[hugs] even though you dont like them

[mistressmiggins]

and she cant be a marvellous MUM if she isnt interested in own child - obviously just trying to impress your ex...in which case eventually your children will see her for what she is

[charliecat]

You have a happy little family rickman, without him.
He was making your life miserable. He will make her life miserable one day too.

[rickman]

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[VeniVidiVickiQV]

What about nursing/healthcare?

Does what you do have to fit around childcare? Can you not make childcare fit around it?

Even courses/classes?

Ambition doesnt have to be something grand. It just has to be something that you want. Or somewhere you want to be.

So first on your list is moving back to your old neighbourhood then?

Whats next? Career or hobby?

[rickman]

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[rickman]

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[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Okay, i may get thrashed within an inch of my life for saying this, but,

your kids dont have to be your life.

They certainly wont be when they are all grown up and wanting to fly the nest, or at least leave the nest most evenings and weekends .

Im sure the access thing is hard going. Children are hard going in Summer holidays etc as it is. Make the most of their absence as MM says, and try and start to do something for yourself NOW. Dont leave it until your children have upped and left to start something. NOW is always a good time.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Home business? Anything you have always wanted to have a go at?

Do you like cooking, gardening, crafting?

If someone sat you down and said "Rickman - you can do anything you like for yourself from here on" What would you say?

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

What was the caution for?

It gets wiped after a certain amount of time anyway, doesnt it?