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dh diagnosed with terminal brain tumour , he is 44

(47 Posts)
lu9months Thu 22-May-14 19:20:03

and I have 3 kids. that's it really. no idea how to do this

AnimalsAreMyFriends Thu 22-May-14 19:22:00

Oh sweetheart, what devastating news.

I'm hoping someone will come along and be able to say something useful.

People here will listen if you want to rant or cry or just talk things through.

V unmumsnetty hug for you x

MinginInTheRain Thu 22-May-14 19:56:27

Oh my goodness. That is truly shocking. I hope somebody wise and kind comes along. Until then I can hold your hand.

Fatmanbuttsam Thu 22-May-14 20:05:45

Oh gosh, I don't know what to say but didn't want to pass by. I am so very sorry for you and your family

vitaminC Thu 22-May-14 20:06:02

Oh, you poor things sad
You will get through it but I can imagine what a shock this must be. Plenty of hand-holding here thanks

How much information have you been given? What type of tumour is it? What stage?

You may like to know that I have a childhood friend who was diagnosed with a brain tumour in her late 30s and given 6-12 months to live. That was over 5 years ago and she's still here, living life to the full and raising loads of money for charity!

Doctors' estimations are based on averages and there are always exceptions, so don't give up hope!

tribpot Thu 22-May-14 20:14:06

How utterly dreadful, lu9months. You may want to look at Macmillan Cancer Care and Brain Tumour UK.

Sending you all good thoughts and wishes.

DeputyPecksBentBeak Thu 22-May-14 20:14:35

You don't have to know how to deal with this right now, or have all the answers. I'm so sorry thanks

trice Thu 22-May-14 20:15:43

What devastating news. Hope you and your family get the support you need.

SleepyBum Thu 22-May-14 20:23:00

Oh god, life is so unfair sad. Not really sure what to say but I am thinking of you all and please be gentle with yourself. Another hand to hold here x

Stuffofawesome Thu 22-May-14 20:25:58

So sorry you have to face this. I realise you will be in shock at the moment but will say this so you can take it in (or leave it) whenever you feel ready. If you have a local hospice I would advise you to get referred sooner so that you can get all kinds of support for dh And the rest of the family. they can help you with all kinds of things including art therapy, complementary therapy, symptom control, nursing care, liaising with health care professionals and schools. It is scary but the care they can give is so much better and more holistic than hospital. Take care.

WolfMoon Fri 23-May-14 00:27:23

I am so sorry that you have to face this. It's crap, totally crap, and if you feel you need to rant, come back here and rant at anytime, there will always be someone to listen to you and hand hold.

If there is any kind of help and support on offer from the hospital, take it. Is there a brain tumour specialist nurse service available at the hospital? If so, get in touch with them early on, they are utterly invaluable and the reality is that they can give so much more in the way of practical support day-to-day than the medical staff. What is your support network like? Do you have family and friends who are around to help when things get particularly tough? You don't have to know what to do, and please let people do a little bit of looking after YOU if it's offered.

Many patients with young children who receive this kind of news often like to put together memories for the future - things like memory boxes, or video recordings of the parent, and photographs chosen by their parent. Is that something that you would like to do? It's not for everyone, but it can be a small comfort to other. I will keep you, your DH and your DC in my thoughts.

daisyMummy123 Sat 24-May-14 15:34:59

I am going through the same thing. My husband is 42 and he also has been diagnosed last week with Brain Tumor. They think it is aggressive but are going to do surgery. Our world has been turned upside down. I have 2 kids one 4 and one 5.

lu9months Sun 25-May-14 08:43:35

dear daisymummy123, I am so sorry. where abouts are you? my kids are 12, 9 and 4. my husband had his surgery and is making a good recovery. we are waiting for radiotherapy and chemotherapy now. it is so hard, and I know what you are going through . sending love .

QOD Sun 25-May-14 08:47:45

So so sorry, so unfair

daisyMummy123 Sun 25-May-14 14:56:07

Thanks people very kind. lu9months I will private message you .

Rachie1986 Sun 25-May-14 15:06:55

Thinking of you xx

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sat 31-May-14 21:05:06

Lu9months and daisyMummy123, I'm sorry to hear your shocking news.

Try to be honest with everyone about what they can do to help - true friends will look after dc, cook, clean, be taxi driver whatever to help you through this.

Thinking of you both.

Xx

Musicaltheatremum Sun 01-Jun-14 16:15:33

I lost my husband to a brain tumour 2 years ago. It was grade 2 when diagnosed but as most of them do it turned very aggressive. Horrible illness. I feel for both of you Daisy and Lu9monthe

onlyjoking Sun 01-Jun-14 16:32:51

I'm sorry that you've had this news, you must all be in shock.
Do they know what sort of tumour, or is the surgery needed to find out what sort it is?
My DH had a brain tumour, he was ill for over two years before he died.
If I can be of any help do post me a message, daisymum the same applies to you. It's a hard journey let us walk beside you.

daisyMummy123 Sun 01-Jun-14 20:18:01

Thanks for kind messages and sorry to hear of
Other people who have gone through the same thing. How did you all cope and how did you help your kids ? Any advice gratefully received x

SocialMediaAddict Mon 02-Jun-14 18:52:04

So sorry. Look after yourself.

lu9months Mon 02-Jun-14 19:23:04

thank you all. as daisymummy says, any thoughts from those who have had to go through this on anything you found that helped, would be very appreciated. my worry is how to support my husband through his illness and my children through and beyond the bereavement and help them with their grief when my own life is falling apart. I suppose there is no choice, we just have to do it. I cant really believe it is happening.

Meh84 Tue 03-Jun-14 20:02:28

I'm so sorry, I truly have no words.

Keep strong x

motherinferior Tue 03-Jun-14 20:03:46

I'm so sorry. Another friend of mine is going through this at the moment. I wish there was more I could say - but I too have no words.

I'm very sorry to hear that, what shocking news. flowers

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