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Legal matters

Am I allowed to leave the UK with my daughter?

33 replies

RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:18

I would be grateful if anybody could shed some light on this for me:
I am German and living in the UK with my daughter (4years). She was born in the UK but has a German passport. I live together with her dad who is British but we are not married.
The relationship is not going very well and I am hoping to move back to Germany. He has now told me that I cannot leave the UK with my daughter.
Does anybody know whether this is true seen as we are not married (he is in the birth certificate though).
I might add that I am the sole financial provider, he has not had an income in all the 7 years I have known him.
Thank you for letting me have your thoughts on this.

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mankyscotslass · 07/04/2010 15:20

I think it's correct, he will have Parental Responsibility, and can therefore stop you leaving the country with her.

I think you need to speak to a lawyer to discuss this.

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 15:21

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 15:22

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:23

Wow, but ButterflyEffect, that's amazing. Thanks for letting me know. Sounds like I might have to create a situation where I can't support us any more in the UK...

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mankyscotslass · 07/04/2010 15:35

I have heard (third hand) of a lady that did return to her home country with her dc after spliting with her partner, but the courts allowed it as she was able to show that she had a support network there, and also she made provision for her xp's travel expenses to allow a relationship to coninue between him and dc. She also had to arrange things like Skype/video calling and normal calls. hth

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FioFio · 07/04/2010 15:38

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:40

Sounds like it's a case to case situation.
If I loose my job -which might be the case- I will have to sell the flat and life in Germany would be cheaper for me (though that's not the reason I would be leaving)

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:44

Fio, the first 6 months I was on maternity leave. From month 6 to 2.5 years he has been the primary carer.
The whole of 2009 I was the primary carer as I had lost my job. I then had a job part time and she was at nursery where I picked her up and he brought her.
Only 2 weeks ago I started another full-time job which means he will have to bring her to nursery and pick her up on days we have not arranged for one of the other mums to pick her up. Sorry it's not straightforward. He's not the primary carer anymore but he was for about 2 years.

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 15:45

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FioFio · 07/04/2010 15:46

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 15:48

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:48

No I meant that it is not his full time occupation any more to look after our daughter.

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:49

ButterflyEffect, Romy Schneider was a German actress, very beautiful, don't think people would take her for me ;-)
But thanks for pointing this out.

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:52

Yes we are in England, London actually. I better hurry up before she starts school...

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 15:55

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:56

We are still living together. He cannot move out (the flat is mine) as he has no means to support himself. Is hoping that his company one day will start making money but not sure whether or not it will.

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 15:59

Thank you so much ButterflyEffect. I will have a read of this.
I never planned on staying in the UK all my life and first he said that he would move to Germany with us but now he has changed his view. I do understand as he hardly speaks any German. Still, very trapped situation, in fairness for him, too. But then again not my fault that he never pursuit a career that would earn him a salary.

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 16:00

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 16:01

no worries, just shows you must be young and I am old ;-)

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babyicebean · 07/04/2010 16:06

I think it depends on when she was born as I have a feeling Parental Responsablity came into being after 2003.

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 16:07

she was born after 2003

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TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 16:08

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FioFio · 07/04/2010 16:13

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 16:15

Funny, as he actually is Irish, all his family live in Ireland but he has a British passport. Still, don't think they would apply Irish laws in this case.
I might be able to find an amicable solution.
It's difficult as I know my daughter would miss him.
But living together in an unloving relationship must also have a bad effect on children.
I might stick it out a bit longer (see how this new job goes first) but in a way I'd love to move as soon as possible.

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RomySchneider · 07/04/2010 16:16

Fio, yes her dad should still see her if I move to Germany and I would want that, too. Of course, I would have to pay for the flight tickets.

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