House Dilemma! How do you get 6 people into a 3 bed?

[Felangie]

How have other people managed with their large families re their housing situations?? Did you extend, move house, upsticks and leave the county, country or continent? For e.g. a friend of mine (with 5 DCs) had to emigrate to France to find a property big enough/afford all of them!
We are in a bind currently with 6 of us in a 3 bed semi-detached and had our planning permission to extend turned down by the council. 3 boys and a girl. Eldest is 14 and he is sharing with his 11 yr old sister which is FAR from ideal. We have bought them a screen so they can have privacy from one another but they want/need their own rooms. Just doesn't sit right to have them sharing when DS is now self-conscious with training bras and the like. Sleepovers are a nightmare! DS3 (5) and DS4 (1) are already sharing the tiniest room of the house so cot and cabin bed in there. DH and I have the biggest bedroom and we're facing putting three boys together in our room and moving next door. BUT with 14, 5 and 1 they have massively different bedtimes/routines and how it will work on a practical level we don't know. We can't convert the loft either, our roof is too low -told we need clearance of 2 metres only 1.85. Someone suggested lowering our ceilings to get it done but honestly HOW can we live in a building site with our situation?? DH and I are both self-employed and have our office in the garden so would need find place with an outhouse too - Argh! Kids are all settled at their local schools and BFF's close by as we've lived in same place for 13 years now - they don't want move. Am tearing my hair out as we can't afford to move and we can't go on with current sitch either.
Please share your stories with how you coped with your expanding families! I keep hoping the answer will come to me...

[SuperFlyHigh]

Not sure about the other options but you can appeal re planning permission.

You could have your ceilings lowered when/if you go away on holiday/summer holidays (god knows how long it takes but if you're away 2-3 weeks) and have someone (either one of you or trusted friend etc) around to keep an eye on things.

[Ihateparties]

We extended, bit traumatic but basically okay. Now we have a house we would never have been able to afford to buy if it was already done ignore the fact it's an unfinished, barely decorated house. On what basis was your planning turned down?

[Floggingmolly]

Why were you refused planning permission??? Did you want to go beyond the permitted development allowance?

[ArcheryAnnie]

When I was growing up, we had six people (plus long-term guests) in a three-bed house. My parents (who were shit at most parently things but did this quite well) sorted it out by putting themselves in what would have been the dining room downstairs.

Me and my sis shared a room, and when we were little it was great having each other there. When we wanted more privacy we put the two double wardrobes down the middle of the room, each facing a different way to the other, as a solid and fairly sound-muffling divider - this meant my older sister coming in didn't wake me, and she had the half of the room nearest the door, which helped. (I had to walk across the end of "her" bit of room to get into my bit.)

In my own flat now, I like having people to stay, and so does DS. He has the biggest of the two bedrooms, but his bed is a three-sleeper bunk bed - a double bed on the bottom and a single on the top. It's been the best bit of furniture I've ever bought. Instant sleepover space, plus a large comfy lounging space for him when he's got the room to himself.

[ThisIsOurBlanket]

Personally I would put the 14 year old in the smallest bedroom on his own.

11 year old and 5 year old share and cot goes into your and DH bedroom for another year.

Actually what my parents did with me when I was 11 and had 5 and 3 year old younger siblings and we were in a 2 bed house was let me have their bedroom to get ready for bed, read in bed and fall asleep, then they would move me into my own bed in shared bedroom with younger siblings when they came up to bed. I know it doesn't sound ideal, but actually it didn't bother me at all - I LOVED being able to stretch out in my parents big double bed and read and listen to music in bed without disturbing the little ones!) Don't know what my parents thought about it though!

[Ooooooooh]

Girl in the smallest room. Build a proper room divide in the biggest room. You have the middle sized room

[Ooooooooh]

What's down stairs? Do you have a dining room

[ArcheryAnnie]

DesperatelySeeking did it look like this? (NGL, I'd have quite liked that as a child.)

[momb]

Daughter into tiny room. You two into middle room, screen across biggest room for eldest son to get some privacy, but essentially they share.

[sosix]

Boys in one room, girl in other room. Looking into get ceilings lowered. I take it movings not an option?0

[ragged]

14yo into a caravan outside, sleeps on sofa indoors when very cold. Others share indoors.

I know couples with 4-6 kids in a 3 bed terrace. Or would put all the boys together and that's that. My best mate in high school was eldest of 4 kids in a 2 bed house; the only boy kipped on the dining-lounge room floor, but got to turf his sisters out of their room for sleepovers.

[misdee]

I have a triple bunk for my girls. We have 6 children and 2 adults in a 3 bed house.

Do you have a dining room you can use for teenagers bedroom?

Split the largest room into 2 for the boys, so teenager one side and younger ones on the other side.

[tomandizzymum]

We had a 3 bed. DS 10 with DS 4. DD 7 with DS 1.
We emigrated and now have a 4 bed farmhouse so DS5 and DS2 share the largest room. I didn't realise how stressed we were. We still have our house and will split the largest room to make a small shower room and turn the bathroom which was originally a bedroom, back into one. If the kids ever want to use it/we ever want to go back. Is this an option?

Alternatively can you move rooms and split the biggest room to make a space for oldest DS away from his little brothers? What about the sittingroom, can it be a bedsit for you? Wardrobe under the stairs perhaps?

Those are just ideas I had before we moved.

It's difficult to juggle people, find the resources or do major work with small children!!

[ArcheryAnnie]

ragged I knew a family that did that - wee little caravan in the back garden for the eldest teen. He loved it. You have to make sure fire safety, etc, is covered, though.

[Viviennemary]

You can raise a roof but it costs loads. We looked into it years ago but decided it was too expensive then. Now DH thinks we should have. Too late now as we had a different extension. You could appeal the planning decision. I thought these days most planning applications were passed within reason.

[zirca]

14yo in one bedroom, 11yo in another. Your storage with the two younger ones in the biggest bedroom and you actually sleep downstairs on sofa bed.

[Honeyishrunkthekids]

We are in a over ally terrace with 4dds but as they are all girls I think it makes things easier. Is there any downstairs rooms you could utilise or a big upstairs gall you could put curtain up, or would you consider putting 1yo back in with you out teen dd in small room and two boys in middle room?

[HellKitty]

Do you have a garage? Only a house we went to see had a garage door but inside it was converted (door bricked up) into another room. Pretty mad as we needed a garage but seemed to work for them.

[Penguinsaresmall]

What reasons were given for refusing planning permission? Is it not something you could tweak?

Otherwise do you have an older semi with a separate dining room and living room off the hallway? I have seen people lose one of those rooms to make another bedroom but obviously depends on your layout.

[Itscoldouthere]

It must be hard for you, but you definitely need to change the older children's situation. My 14 yr old DS would be unable to cope with that type of situation ( not seen him undressed since he was about 11).

Both myself and husband are from large family's and grew up in 3 bed houses (and one bathroom) we had 3 boys one room 3 girls other room and my parents were always squeezed into the box room, my husband had 4 boys (two sets of bunk beds) in biggest room, sister in box room and parent in middle room.

It used to be more common and most people I knew had a 3 bedroomed house (how times have changed).

I think the oldest boy should probably have the small room ( is he doing GCSEs next year, will he need to study in peace) your daughter and younger children could share a room, if possible divided in some type of temporary way.

If you can't extend or divide the rooms in a good way then you may have to move.

Good luck

[StellaDrift]

At one point my parents made one large room into 2 by building a bed over the stairs. Before the bed was built there was a huge empty space above the stairs, they were able to built a plinth across and still have enough head space to get up and down the stairs. Not sure if I am explaining this very well, but during the building work you could stand in the bedroom and peer over the bit of wall had been cut away and see the stairs from above. That bedroom was then divided into 2. They also put in another small window so that the smaller room had its own window.

If you have high ceilings then at least you can have high sleeper beds with desk, could you look on pintrest and get a local carpenter to design something that makes the most of the high ceilings?

[juneau]

Could you turn your big bedroom into two smaller ones with a proper plywood and insulation wall? Those older ones really need a room each and the 14-year-old definitely needs more privacy than a curtain or an angled bed could provide. I really don't think its fair on him to make him share a room with his two little brothers, simply because they are the same gender. Having a 14-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl in the same room cannot continue though - that's really inappropriate. For now I think those little ones will have to stay in the small room (and have bunks when they're old enough), while you and DH take the middle-sized room.

[Jackieharris]

That is a tricky situation.

But I do think you have to change from your current arrangement.

Can you put a velux window in the loft? It won't count as a conversion or a bedroom but I'd be happy putting my teenage DS in such a room.

Then smallest room for dd, with a high sleeper if possible.

What downstairs space do you have? If your kitchen is big enough to sit in then I'd consider using the living room as a bed/living room for the adults. We've done this in the past. It's not too bad. Or let your teen sleep there.