Why schools and HE are both fine in their own ways and we should all just take a deep breath and respect each other's decisions

[AMumInScotland]

From nearly-5 to nearly-14 my DS went to school. He enjoyed it, he suited it, and it suited him. It gave him a range of opportunities that I could not have given him with HE. Not necessarily better opportunities, but different, and they suited him. In weekends and holidays we did many of the activities that autonomous HE families do, and we enjoyed our lives. Occasionally there were issues at school, with teachers, homework, etc, but these were always dealt with in a satisfactory manner and we were all happy that we had made the right choice.

Now DS is HE. He enjoys it, he suits it, and it suits him. It gives him a range of opportunities that school could not offer him. Not necessarily better opportunities, but different, and they suit him. And we are all happy that we have made the right choice.

In future DS may go back to school, or to college, or continue to study at home. It depends what direction he wants to go in, and where we think the best set of opportunities lie to help him to achieve this. Whatever the choice, I'm sure we will be happy that we have made the right choice for him at that time. If not, we know that there are always alternatives, and nothing that we do will permanently close off any future avenues.

I like the fact that there is debate in MN, and that it is not a pink-and-fluffy forum where we all agree with each other, but it does often feel that debates become very polarised into two opposing camps, both of which believe they are right, and debate settles into argument. I think the only sensible conclusion about HE and schools is that both can be very good ways of educating children, but that it depends on the specific child and the specific school and the specific teacher and all the other specific circumstances for that family, which of the two is the better option at that time.

[Lmccrean]

I have spent a few days lurking on the HE thread as it is something I have considered doing full time (dd is 5 and currently in mainstream school). You are all lovely and wonderfully supportive! I am sorry that you feel "under attack" from parents who chose to send their kids to school.

I always wanted to home-ed, but things havent gone to plan and Im now a single mum, and cant afford not to work (I work part-time, in a science/education center, which I used to bring dd to more often than I do now I work in it!)

My compromise is to send dd to mainstream while I work, and encourage home learning as much as I can after school/weekends/evenings. I do hope that in time, my situation will change and I can home school. In the menatime, I hope you wont mind if I join in on this topic and pick your brains for useful stuff

[stuffitall]

Yes I'm quite amazed at the hostility of some to home-edding. Not that I do it. But why should it cause such fury?

Quite agree. Love and peace all round.

[discoverlife]

""Yes I'm quite amazed at the hostility of some to home-edding""

Xnophobia..He'ers are no longer of the tribe, therefore we are to be thought of as suspicious or even as an enemy. Primal instinct there.

Jealousy, there are an awful lot of people out there who would relly love to HE but can't because they need 2 wages or to work etc. and they know that HE ing would be best for their child. It just is immpossible for some people to be able to. For others they can't accept the lowering of their standard of living HE'ing would entail.

Nanny state advocates. Those who think (well I don't actually believe they put there barin into gear) that school is the only method of teacheing there should be.

[discoverlife]

Oops. Sorry for the spelling mistakes.

[needmorecoffee]

I do and have done both. Far as I see it, should be the child's choice. Some kids like school, some don't. Some want school sometimes but not others. Let the child choose. Its their education.

[juuule]

I also do both. I've heard some extreme views from both sides.

[MyOtherPersonalityIsTheSaneOne]

I'd love to HE, but i don't think it's practical for me financially (materials, outings) or practically - i can't properly look after my toddler and educate two ten year olds to any decent standard.

Therefore unless i find something wrong with their next school, i will be having to send them. Oh, and there's the social aspect isn't there? I haven't found a HE group in my area.

But why would i have anything against HE in general??

[needmorecoffee]

Sane - I HE teenagers while caring for a severely disabled 3 yo. It can be done. Some of the education might be seeing how blood pressure is taken andhow an MRI scan works however....

[discoverlife]

Done both as well so I can have a balanced view. School worked brilliantly for my DD it has been hell for my DS. Can some of the HE bashers give a balanced view.

[juuule]

You don't actually need a HE group to socialise. There are things like Brownies and other groups that children can take part in. My children mix with children from school who live near us.

[MyOtherPersonalityIsTheSaneOne]

I think it depends how capable you are too. I wouldn't class myself as very capable of HEing at this time! My toddler is only 1 year old, too. In two years time i might consider it but there will still be the finacial and social aspects.

[MyOtherPersonalityIsTheSaneOne]

They are too old for Brownies, and the local Guide group is...well...crud.

[needmorecoffee]

I don't think HE costs more than school. No bus fares or uniforms for starters. We're on befeits and have managed.
There is the odd day when they ask endless questions I wish they were bugging some teacher

[discoverlife]

I have finally found a scout group that has room for someone new. The last area I was in they had a 3 year waiting list for cubs. It was getting so bad that people were putting their sons names down when they were only 1 year old.

[needmorecoffee]

good grief. We looked at rainbows for dd but they meet in a hall up steps and dint seem to want her
she's not going to be HE'ed though. I'd love too but need DH as I can't lift her but he wants to work school hours. waaaaaaaaaaaah
Teacher in the sn school already said there was no point disabled kids doing GCSE's so you can see how much of an education dd would get there!

[juuule]

NMC - I don't think that HE needs to cost more than school but I think it depends on your style of HE.
If I want to visit places with mine then it costs in petrol or bus fares. If they were at school they could walk there. Uniforms in the main we have passed them down or had them passed on from friends/relatives. We have passed them on in turn. So no great cost there.
I think for me it's probably been at least a bit more expensive to HE than to send them to school.
Also have the exam thing to consider. Whether to wait for 16 or find the money to do online courses.

[MyOtherPersonalityIsTheSaneOne]

(I feel like i am hijacking this thread so apologies to the OP, but....)

I have no idea how to go about teaching. I would want my kids to have a thorough knowledge of maths (English would be a problem as they are both dyslexic but theschool doesn't do any better), History, Nature, Money/Budgeting, Cooking (also a problem as i'm rubbish at it myself), and a good physical workout a few times a week. I also am on benefits btw, and although dh is home, i don't see him wanting to participate that much.

Sorry, taking a long time to post as i'm giving DD3 her snack at the same time!

[MyOtherPersonalityIsTheSaneOne]

Oh yes, andthey walk to schol and any trips are subsidised.

[MyOtherPersonalityIsTheSaneOne]

Or school, rather.

[Blandmum]

There are snide comments that come in from both sides.

[AMumInScotland]

Oh indeed mb, I don't mean to suggest that either side is all sweetness and light! I keep hoping we could have threads where neither side takes offence, and misunderstandings can be cleared up in a polite atmosphere, and we can all learn from each other's experiences. And it keeps on not happening...

[chocfest]

I do both, HE, with others in primary and secondary. Each childs education was defined by their happiness. I love the HE and would do it for all of them, but at the mo they are content doing their schooling with the knowledge that they can change tack overnight if they wanted. The HE one wouldnt dream of going back to school!!