Do you really have to go to a grammar school or a posh private school to get to good university?

[supermum007]

I am not a lurker and have name changed recently.
Although my two DDs are born here and we have lived in the UK for more than 15 years I find the educational system a real nightmare
Please correct me if I am wrong - Do you really have to go a grammar or a good private school to go to a top university (say Oxbridge, Durham,UCL etc.,)?
This is the impression I am getting but I could be wrong.
I have been speaking to my friend who lives in a grammar school area (super selective one) and I could gather that there is so much competition.
I live in a non grammar area and there is no selective independent school either.
Dd1 will be going to secondary next September so I am thinking ahead (No children/DH at home this evening :)) so plenty of time to think and to be on MN.

[proudfoot]

No, of course not.

As long as your DDs are in a school with a good learning environment where they can achieve the grades they are capable of, the type of school won't matter.

[princessglitter]

Nope. Comprehensive, Oxford here. Although I matriculated in 1998, I'm fairly sure my alma mater does still consider applications from comprehension schools;) In fact, they positively encourage it!

[princessglitter]

*comprehensive! And to think I studied English Literature .

[MoreBeta]

No ... but it helps.

The statistics clearly show it does.

[supermum007]

Thanks. Do parents do anything extra apart from what the school does in secondary school?
I am from working class background but was completely self driven ( went to a local catholic school in my country - I am not a catholic but the school made an exception, went to a local secondary school with scholarship mostly from school and the rest by my Dad's employers.) Although I went to a very good university and have done well in life generally - I can vividly remember lot of deficiencies in terms of other privileges others have enjoyed (For example - books at home, extra curricular activities, holidays etc.,)
Both my parents were uneducated and although they had the will to help did not know how to?
I don't want this to happen to my DDs as well. I will help them if there are ways I could help.

[exoticfruits]

No, of course not. Our town comprehensives regularly send pupils to the top universities, including Oxbridge. Where do you think the clever DCs go if there are no grammar schools and they can't afford private?

[exoticfruits]

Read a lot at home, talk to them, play games like chess, encourage sports, music, hobbies and go out as a family.

[exoticfruits]

It doesn't have to cost-walks are free so are many museums. The library is wonderful.

[exoticfruits]

Bake cakes, fly kites.

[supermum007]

She does read a lot, enjoys all form of sports but board games a big no no.There is a chess club in the school but she would not go as she says anything sitting down and playing is not a sport :)

[Stay123]

I and all my friends went to the local comprehensive. Lots of us got 3 As at A level and went to good universities. Our school was very mixed and I would say that I was in with a good crowd. If I'd been friends with teh wrong groups things would definitely be different so make sure they mix with the kids who work hard. Hopefully like will attract like.

[mumeeee]

No you don't. DD1 went to a local comprehensive, She then went to Cardiff University.

[Bonsoir]

Read "The Outliers". Lots of good insights as to the absolutely massive difference that an intellectually and creatively rich home life makes to academic achievement.

I think you can leave a lot up to school if you can afford and/or have access to a really good school for your DC. If not, you need to invest your time and energy (and money) in the time outside school in order to maximise your child's development.

[An0therName]

No you don't - know loads and loads of people who went to comps who went to good universities -as did I
what I would say through is that is your kids are looking at oxbridge - which you can't know at the moment if they will be- I would send them to a 6th form - that has experience of sending kids to oxbridge; for instance if your area has them a good 6th form college -assume you are happy with the school your DD will be going to in general
also one of the reasons particularly for oxbridge is that there are so many private school pupils there is the lots of children from state school that could go rule themselves out - so well qualified comp students probably have a bit of edge

[Milliways]

No!

My DD went to local primary then local comp. She is now in her final year at Cambridge and also had offers from Durham, Warwick, Bath & Southampton.

A lot of her school friends are also at top Uni's

[GardenersDelight]

No. my DD went to very average comp and has just started at Sheffield also offered a place at Southampton both in top 20 in country

[sandripples]

My DD has graduated from Cambridge recently after comprehensive school education and DS is getting offers from good uni's for his subject too. I agree about the importance of trying to help Dcs gain as much enrichment as possible, both from whatever the school offers and from what parents can organise. I do think bright kids often need help to avoid the problem of being perceived as swots at school - this is partly about their own preferences and level of need to 'fit in' but in our comprehensive (which is a very big school ) there seems to be a place/club/group where most children feel comfortable being themsleves. It wasn't always easy for non-conformist individuals though.

[ellisbell]

no, bright children go to those universities from comprehensives. It helps a lot if they have well-informed parents who know what their children need to do e.g not chosing less academic subjects that those universities don't value. Grammar schools and private schools limit student choice of subject.

[supermum007]

Thanks for all the replies. It is reassuring that you can go to these universities with good grades irrespective of the school .

[Takver]

No, not at all. And, as they say 'Correlation does not imply causation'

Statistically children from grammars / private schools are more likely to go to Oxbridge

BUT children who come from academically supportive and prosperous families are more likely to go to grammar or private school

[HannahHack]

I went to a good comp and went to russel groups for under and post grad. I have friends who did the same.

However, now I am working I am shocked at the number of private school/oxbridge types I work with. They can't possibly all be that good.

IMO I find that aspect harder. I worked hard and did well academically but little prepared me for these types in the world of work.

[supermum007]

Hannahhack -What do you mean by the private school/oxbridge type?
You are as qualified as them so why are they any better that you are?
As I said earlier, due to my background I did find it hard in the uni (mainly the social and extra curricular aspects) but when it comes to academic side of things,I was and I am still confident.But again I am not brought up in this country, and am not in any big city or corporate environment to meet such people.

[HannahHack]

I mean those who did private school and then oxbridge. In my industry they make up a large chunk. I think it is general attitidue to work rather than capability personally.

[duchesse]

No. In fact one of my best friends at Cambridge went to a school that was so poor that it has since been shut, and she was only one of a half a dozen in the entire 6th doing A levels rather than O level retakes.

[mummytime]

If you are in a non-Grammar school area it is quite likely that lots of pupils from the local comps go to "top" universities. I think about 50% of the sixth formers at my DCs comp go to Times top 20 Unis, and those that don't may be going to a "top" university for their subject.
People who pay for Private education, or tutors to get their kids into Grammar often subconsciously feel they have to justify spending that money. Education is a very emotional and emotive issue in the UK.