School Advancement Advice

[KatCan]

Hello,

I'm looking for some advice for a meeting I have with my daughter's school tomorrow.

She started Primary One in August 2009 (aged 6 - we're in Scotland). At the school's recommendation, she's skipped P2 (she did most of that work in P1), starting P3 this August.

Whilst we were confident she could handle the academic work, we were worried about her emotional well-being and the fact her motor skills are average for her age. She's a happy, popular girl, but she doesn't respond well to shouting, etc, and is ultra-sensative to many things.

We were assured she'd be treated 'sensatively' but, my daughter has reported that her maths teacher shouts at her alot for not working quickly enough, that she's often crying to herself in her maths class, has taken it upon herself to try to finish her maths work at lunchtimes and at home has started wetting the bed.

I've only uncovered all this after gradually probing her for information. I'm really upset and meeting with the school tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice on how to proceed? I Feel badly let down by the school but want to keep them onside. I'm feeling really isolated as don't know anyone else in this situation.

Thanks for your help.

[KatCan]

Thanks, but moving her back down really isn't an option. My feeling is we've made the deicsion and now we have to make it work.

We agreed to let her move up as were told, because of cut-backs, they wouldn't have the resources to deal with her in P2. We were told our options were to move her on a year or she would just have to repeat the work she had already done.

Her class teacher (P1) was concerned that she was outgrowing her P1 colleagues. As she was in a composite class (p1/2), the move into P3 - from a social point of view - has been fine. She moved with her friends from the P2 part of her class.

[muddleduck]

I was moved up a year at this age.

I coped ok until about age 10 when it all became a complete nightmare as the social difference between me and my peers becase enormous.

do they have a plan as to what they are going to do in later years? This issue isn't going to go away. Either they plan to keep her ahead of her age group (which will cause the problems that I had) or they plan for her to repeat a year at some point (which I ended up doing much later on ... and which was also not good.)

I disagree when you say that moving her back with her age group is not an option. I think you have to think of this as an option. It really doesn't sound as if she is in the right class.

[ChristianaTheSeventh]

I was moved up a year (in Scotland too by the way)

It was hell, the whole way through school.

Please move her back down before it's too late.

[ChristianaTheSeventh]

Oh and why did you defer her start (if she was 6 when she started?)

[muddleduck]

and for the record, it is not that I am ALWAYS against moving kids up. I think that for a small number of DC it can be the right thing, but that it needs to be done very carefully with a long term plan in place. It sounds to me like the school was just looking for the easiest short-term option for them rather than the best long-term option for your DD.

[KatCan]

That this one teacher lays off a bit! Everything else is fine! My girl is happy and engaged at school otherwise, but this teacher's shouting is an issue.

I'm wanting my daughter treated differently, but without being made to feel different. If she's struggling to complete the work because of her motor skills - could they not give her less to do, for example?

The more this teacher shouts, the more anxious she becomes, and so it goes on.

Feel I can't go in and tell them what to do though (plus I've only heard one side of the story!)

I don't know what options are available and what I should be asking for. My confidence in the school are shaken and I want to get the best for my child out of this meeting.

[KatCan]

Oh and why did you defer her start (if she was 6 when she started?)

I didn't defer her - sorry she was 5 when she started, but is one of the oldest in her year group.

[muddleduck]

but to me it is daft to have a child moved up into a class where she can't complete the work and is crying in class because of this.

If she was with her age group she would have the time and space to work on the aspects that she struggles with.

You are right, you can't "go in and tell them what to do". But you can go in and say that you're not prepared to have your child this upset (to the point of crying in class and wetting the bed) and ask what their plan is to help her cope. You can also ask whether they still think that this is the best class for her to be in.

[LIZS]

Sorry but it soudns as if she is finding the whole situation and perhaps especially the maths lessons stressful. Differentiation is all very well but if she has been advanced she should n't really need to be cut slack. By the end of this year chances are some of her original peer group will match her anyway as she evidently isn't a year ahead of her chronolgical age in all areas. Have her motor skills been assessed by an OT ?

[KatCan]

Thanks, Muddleduck.

I think I'm going to definitely try to pin them down on the 'strategy' aspect.

They use Setting at the school, so for maths, she working with other p3s, but they're not necessarily kids from her class.

In terms of 'outgrowing' children of her own age, they felt she wasn't interested in the games,etc they were playing. For example, if the other girls were playing at being fairies, my daughter wouldn't want to play because (in her opinion) fairies don't exist and are for babies.

I'm not asking for an entire class to be 'treated with kid gloves' - I'm thinking surely a teacher worth her salt would have more in her repetoire than shouting at 6 years olds? There are only 6 of them in the maths group.

I guess I'm angry because I feel the school made assurances to us that have been renegated upon. I'm not sure this teacher even knows about my daughter's situation.

[muddleduck]

I agree. It sounds like this particular teacher is not dealing with this well.

good luck.

[KatCan]

Sorry, Pixie, but I don't see how repeating work at any age can be anything but annoying (and a complete waste of time??) for anybody at any stage of their lives?

[KatCan]

It's the top set for P3.

[titchy]

Well she's going to have to repeat at some point isn't she? Unless you want to fight for her to go to secondary a year early, 6th form a year early, univerity a year early? What do you have planned for her when she's older?

[KatCan]

Is she, titchy?

To be honest, we haven't thought that far ahead.

Sorry - can I just say I'm feeling a little under attack here...

I'm looking for advice on how to get the best out of the school...Maybe this was the wrong thread?

[LIZS]

Then maybe she should be in a lower maths set to build up her confidence again. Expectations are too high perhaps?

[muddleduck]

this is not the 'wrong thread'.

we are just trying to point out that there a really big long-term issues here. And that the sooner you deal wthi this the better.

so for example, I was forced to repeat a year when I was 13 (because of the rules at my new school after my parents moved). It was complete hell. The social consequences of being a socially insecure 13 year old who was a know-it-all with nothing new to keep me interested were pretty dire. IMO this had a far more devastating consequence on me than repeating some work in primary would have done.

IMO the school has let you down by moving you DD without (i) a teacher who can cope and (ii) a long-term plan.

Again - I'm not saying that moving someone up is always the wrong thing, but you have a right to expect more from the school under these conditions.

[muddleduck]

... and we are trying to help honest