My mum gets ill every time she visits. Is this normal or is my house germy?

[spidermama]

Come to think of it so too does my MIL. It means they come and help even less than they used to (which was hardly ever).

They both live a 2-3 hour drive away.

Do you think they get bugs from the kids? They seem to get ill even when we aren't.

[oliveoil]

Since dd1 started playgroup in September, our house has been the House Of Doom, full of coughs, colds, chicken pox, chest infections you name it.

I have in turn been full of a cold and I am normally NEVER ill.

So maybe your children are passing bugs their way - do you have 4? (from memory)

[spidermama]

Yes I do OO. Three of them at school. I wonder if they can be carrying bugs without getting ill with them and passing them on to my mum.

I don't really understand the nature of contagious illness. The homeopaths say you can't pass bugs on this way but they're inside you anyway and triggered by something environmental. What does that say about my house?

[Eve2005]

do you keep your house quite cool compared to theirs? my mom keeps her house very cold and me, dp and dd get sick every time we're there! (and i don't keep my house overly warm, round 18 degree's but when we're there the baby monitor never goes above 14 degrees upstairs)

[spidermama]

My house is probably warmer than my mum's but it's not particularly warm. I don't think it's that.

Tbh I was hoping for a whole bunch of MNers to come on and say, 'Oh don't worry. Our mums also get ill every time they come. It's because of school etc'.

Otherwise I may have to look into the possibility that there's something illness-inducing about my housekeeping.

[oliveoil]

When you say ill, what do you mean?

Are you poisoning them with food? Or do you mean colds etc?

[spidermama]

Yes, colds generally.

Not food poisoning though there have been times where I've been tempted by MIL.

[MrsBadger]

Yes, the children could definitely be carrying bugs that don't make them ill but can affect other people who haven't been exposed to them before.
What gives a schoolchild a mild / unnoticeable sniffle can wipe out a more elderly person for a good few days.

Also if they're used to warmer houses, being less active etc then a few days of bracing hard work at yours may actually give their immune systems a bit of a shock, making them more susceptible to anything that's going around.

I would take anything a homeopath says about infectious disease with a whopping pinch of salt - respiratory viruses are dead easy to transmit, but I'm a clinical microbiologist, so what would I know?

[LadySherlockofLGJ]

My DDad has a theory that young children are just disease carriers, they rarely get it themselves but they pass it on quite readily.

DS started reception in September and I have not been 100% since, he has caught nothing with the exception of this last fluey dose that everyone seems to have caught.

I feel worn out, by it all, and I am younger than your parents. I think.

[oliveoil]

lol

Maybe you door handles or towels, taps whatever could have germs on them that are from your children and then passed on.

But the answer to that is the anxious mass spraying of Dettox and I would rather have germs tbh.

[BettySpaghetti]

Do you have any pets?
My MIL tends to get cold-like symptoms when shes here which is due to our cat. They used to have a cat themselves years ago that she was never allergic to but she is to ours -something to do with the fur length/type I think

[spidermama]

I feel an almighty spring clean coming on.

[throckenholt]

this year this has pretty much happened to my mum - she comes over for 2-3 days every 2-3 weeks and seems to get ill with a cold of something similar a few days after she gets home again.
And we and the kids have all had more than our share of colds this winter (I am just starting out on another one - I just love them so much !).

[spidermama]

Actually betty we have no pets but, ironically, my mum brings her smelly old dog who sheds massive amounts of fur and makes us all sneeze and brings on my asthma.

Interesting MrsBadger. Normally I'm more inclined to throw my blind faith into homeopathy, but as it doesn't suit my purposes perhaps the more orthodox medical theories will be the recipients of my blind faith on this occasion.

[NotQuiteCockney]

What are their sleeping arrangements like at yours? Are they maybe getting less sleep, which makes them more susceptible?

In the winter months, everyone's got colds, but school kids are worse than everyone else.

My folks and my in-laws never come to stay, though, so I don't know whether they'd catch anything. We did visit them and (maybe) give them some nasty D+V earlier this year, though.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Oh, and as long as it's not tummy bugs, I wouldn't blame your housekeeping, as it sounds like you're inclined to do.

[spidermama]

Thanks for that NQC. I think my MIL keeps implying it's to do with my housekeeping so I'm getting paranoid. On the positive side it meant she bought us a dishwasher though.

I reckon they're tired here because it's full on with four little ones running around, the spare sofa bed isn't what they're accustomed to (maybe a new one should be next on the present list ) and there always seems to be at least one kid with at least a runny nose.

I also have a member of the family who's HIV positive and I wonder how concerned I should be about him visiting. He comes fairly often but doesn't seem to get ill.

[throckenholt]

I heard something recently about brid flu - if it comes in human form as a pandemic then those who suffer most are those with a strong immune system (that is what happened in the 1918 one) - so young and old are not as badly affected. So you can reassure your MIL that you are helping to protect her from the coming flu epidemic

[fimbo]

When I moved from Scotland to England I was frequently unwell, with various colds, virus etc. I swear this is what the Dr told me - "It's because you have moved, there are different germs in the air in different areas and your body has not yet adjusted" I don't know whether there is any truth in that or not, but 5 years on, I don't seem to get as ill as I did when I first came here.............mmmm

[zippy539]

I used to get sick every single new year when I first met DH. Three years running I came down with something vile on Hogmanay and wasn't right for a week after. Eventually put it down to seeing his neices and nephews at Christmas time (they were all nursery/early school age). Sure enough the next year we didn't see them and I had my first Hogmanay in four years.

[NotQuiteCockney]

spidermama, we should probably check with MrsBadger, but I don't think slightly slack housekeeping (or even very slack housekeeping) can cause colds. Children are great at passing them on, though, with their runny noses, their dislike of handwashing, and climbing all over everyone.

And yeah, lack of sleep will do it every time. I generally get ill when travelling, or before travelling, thanks to lack of sleep. Hurrah.

[spidermama]

I could get the kids to wash their hands more. I'm overdue a campaign of good hygene teaching with them anyway.

[Polgara2]

I agree with Fimbo's theory. Your immune system does seem to need to adjust to 'different sets' of bugs. It happens at nursery and schools too I think.

[MrsBadger]

• nope, slack housekeeping doesn't cause colds, but living in seriously damp, mouldy and/or cramped (ie 6 to a room) conditions makes them easier to catch and harder to get rid of, ditto lack of sleep and poor nutrition.
  

• yep, kids spreads respiratory diseases like mad. Handwashing helps a lot, as does noseblowing in tissues and not rubbing eyes. The 'sneeze -> hands -> doorknob -> rub eyes' transmission route is v efficient and a bugger to break.
  

• the 'new environment, new germs' theory is pretty true too, especially in small or isolated communities, or in intensive-contact groups like nurseries or families.

[jenkel]

You have the same problems as us, both sets of grandparents are about 3 hours away so they dont see the kids regulary. Whenver they do we are either staying with them or them staying with us, and when its time to go you can guarantee that they have a cold, funny tummy etc. I've just put it down to the fact that kids carry all sorts of colds etc and the grandparents immune system is not so used to it as they dont see them that regulary.

[BettySpaghetti]

ooh -just thought of another thing that sets my MIL off when she stays here -feather pillows, which they don't have at home (we only have the 1 here but it just so happened its a spare for guests).
(Just another idea, going down the "something different in the air/environment" route -although I strongly suspect its just kids and their bugs from school and everywhere else they go)