Fostering forums?

[SammyK]

Just wondered if there are any fostering forums that are bit busier? I am going through the fostering application process so all info and advice helps.

[TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets]

I've searched and searched and what ones I have come across, there simply isn't a lot of activity

Best/busiest one I found was on www.fertilityfriends.co.uk but even that is mostly about adoption.

How are you getting on/whereabouts are you in the process?

We are jsut starting out, had initial home visit and awaiting the next course of workshops being set up

[SammyK]

Thanks I will have a look at that link. Would just be nice to read other people's experiences and ask questions as this board seems fairly quiet.

Well I started the application process early on this year, but put it on hold as I wanted to be sure and they were rushing it more than it should take. Also there were a few issues with the social worker (a trainee working alone) who was taking us through it, which I don't want to go into in detail.

We did half of our course, so still have half of that to do, but have finished our 'form' so once the ball is rolling again we shouldn't be far from panel.

How are you finding it? I found the questions, info etc a little overwhelming TBH. Enjoyed the course though (which I have a few more sessions to finish).

[chegirl]

There is a fostering board on adoption uk. Its pretty busy.

[TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets]

I don't know not gotten very far yet! EVeryone seems very positive and helpful though albeit a little slow to get back to you but I suppose that's their workload to blame there.

[chegirl]

I think the problem is we compare other forums to MNs which is very fast moving. Most others I have been on are nothing like as fast

[cuttsy]

We have had 3 kids with us for over a year and we have now been told they have to go into respite for 6 weeks. My kids and foster kids are devastated by this with mood swings, tears and not eating. They dont go till Friday....but I feel there is something they are not telling us...though some have said this sometimes happens, especially as our kids are older. They want to stay and ours want them to stay.....any advice???

[fishtankneedscleaning]

Cuttsy. Your situation is not the norm. Can I ask how you are caring for 3 foster children but have not yet gone to panel? Or have I misunderstood your post on another thread?

What reason have you been given for the fc going into respite for 6 weeks?

[psiloveyou]

cuttsy I saw your other post like fishtank and was a bit .
It is very unusual for children to be forced into respite if it's not needed.
Are you able to give more details?.

sammy good luck, there is usually someone around here who can answer questions.

[shaz298]

Cuttsy, I don't want to be rude, but why won't you just start your own thread? You have posted this at least 4 different places with no additional info or answers to questions. I am sadly beginnning to think you may be a troll!!

Re forums, try this one : familiesat.forumhope.com/forum

Good luck. We're nearing the end of the process. Report is being written and just health and safety check to be done before panel in May.

xx

[cuttsy]

Shaz et al; we have one with adhd..2 are fine and with our older 4, thay have some concern. One relative has been on to solicitors....but I cant get to the bottom of it....they are not forthcoming and all is good here...at times..

[fishtankneedscleaning]

Are the foster children siblings? Have you requested respite? Have any of the children raised any concerns? If they are going for six weeks respite at the end of this week the SW must have given you reasons surely?? Is there a plan for them to be returned to you?

[cuttsy]

fishtank. they are siblings. No we have not requested respite. No, none of the children have raised concerns, all professionals involved are impressed and happy except sw manager. Plan is to return if all goes well.....but why the 6 weeks respite? All of us are devastated and foster kids are angry and upset.

[fishtankneedscleaning]

If you dont mind me asking what concern is the manager raising? Are they going to different foster carers? Sorry if I am coming across as a bit dense but you say there are plans to return if all goes well. If what goes well?

[cuttsy]

They say the assessment...why 6 weeks I dont know. They have to interview everybody again. A relative have a solicitor but been told they wont go back. Some of the language they use is grown up..probably because they are with my older children. Had a medical and doctor impressed at how they are coming along...teachers say they are doing excellent and nobody from ss telling me any more....I cannot find out...

[NanaNina]

Cuttsy - I have just answered you on another thread - it was a very old thread about fostering going back to last Aug, but I have posted a reply. I will repeat it here as it was only short.

This is a bizarre plan and you say on the other thread that one sw has told you there is something wrong and another one ha told you that it is nothing to worry about and it is necessary for this to happen before your annual review for permanency. Sorry but this is nonsense.

I think you are being treated very badly by the LA who are not being straight with you and giving inconsistent responses to your queres. I suggest you ask for an urgent meeting with the sw,his/her team manager and your link worker and get some direct answers. And yes it would be more helpful if you stuck to one thread!

[psiloveyou]

Very good advice from nanaNina as always.
I'm a fc cuttsy and your story is so strange. Very wrong for the Los stability. I would be parking my bum in the LA offices and not moving until I got some answers.
What does your FPSW say?.

[NanaNina]

I've just posted a reply to Cuttsy on the old thread about Fostering a family relative - It is confusing posting on more than one thread. So cuttsy if you wnat to see my last post, please go to the other thread. PSIloveyou - you are right, parking your bum is a good tactic! I have suggested cuttsy contacts her local councillor or even better the Chair of the Social Services Committee. If anyone complains to one of them, they go straight to the chief ex of the council or to the Director of SS and they pass it down to the relevant managers, and believe me it makes social workers and managers act - quickly, because the director will want a reply as she/he needs to feen back to the councillor.

[fostering]

Nananina
I'm assuming "the chair of the social services committee" has to be a local office, where do you find out contact details?

[NanaNina]

Hi Fostering. Your local authority council should be able to give you the name of the chair of the SS Committee, and who your local councillor is. If you prefer you can google your local authority and there will be a list of local councillors who have been elected by the public. You can find your own local councillor by putting in your post code. The councillor's details (address and phone no) will be displayed. You can them contact him/her and ask for the name of the Chair of the Social Services Committee.

You are probably aware that there are Housing Committees, Education Committees, Environmental Health Committees etc., all under the "umbrella" of the local authority. Local councillors who have been elected by the public in the local elections (next one in May 2011) sit on these committees, and there will be a chair of each committee. Not sure how the chair is decided, probably by vote.

[cuttsy]

thanks NanaNina. I went to the top and the following day after I dropped the kids off had a good phonecall from manager who thinks it will be less than 6 weeks and they should be back. Its because the three were very challenging and with my four there had been talk of them acting a bit too mature at times. All reports are very good so I am not too worried. I just pity them having to travel 30 miles to and from school every day for four weeks if it goes on that long. I have been told that when they return I can apply for permanancy. Fingers crossed.

[fostering]

Thank you very much NanaNina, can't imagine why you aren't chief advisor on fostering to the government?

[fishtankneedscleaning]

Fostering. Maybe because the Govt dont want people who talk sense?

[kiwifruitisfun]

I have found familiesat.forumhope.com/forum to be a good site with many thought provoking posts, some more light-hearted posts and some former foster children as a bonus.

[NanaNina]

Oh fostering and fishtank - you are very complimentary. As I've said before I think helping MNs helps me too because I am no longer working and I do sometimes miss it and I am still interested enough to keep up my subscriptions to Community Care and other sw journals, though I will of course be beyond my sell date sooner or later!

I will have a look at your link kiwifruit - sounds interesting.

Cuttsy - I'm afraid I still smell a rat! Am I right in thinking that you have 4 of your own children and have been fostering 3 who you are proposing to foster on a permanent basis? I need a lie down just thinking of it! I am wondering if this business of the foster children sounding "too mature" is a euphamism for them picking up stuff from your children (I honestly don't mean to imply anything critical) it's just that older children will say things that are normal in their age range and then younger kids pick it up. I was involved in a private law case once where the father was applying for contact of his son and the mother was putting every obstacle in the way. She ended up phoning the NSPCC to say that her son (aged 10) had come home talking of "gaylords" - in my experience all yr 5 and 6 kids talk of gaylords, and at senior school. The boy also apparently grabbed his mother's breasts and started saying "bitty" and this of course was from that programme "Little Britain" where there is a character who does just that. Maybe the boy's gran shouldn't have let him watch it but it wasn't anything serious. His mother claimed that he had found a "sex toy" at his dad's home but when I interviewed the boy, he had no idea what I was talking about.

Sorry if I'm waffling on but you mentioned something about a relative going to a solicitor and people whose children are being fostered will often tell all manner of lies to justify why the children should not have been removed.

I would ask:

1. What exactly do they mean by acting too mature and don't let them wriggle out of answering.
   

1. Who do they intend to carry out a core assessment on?
   

1. If it is you, what is the reason.
   

1. Why are these children being removed for 6 weeks. What is the purpose of this. Again don't let them slide round the issue.
   

I honestly think they are not being straight with you and are drip feeding you this, that and the next thing. I think you have been given at least 3 different explanations.

I cannot believe that you are being treated like this - they are meant to be working in partnership with you FGS. They are trying to fob you off and this is totally unacceptable. Be more assertive Cuttsy!

[cuttsy]

I think a legal team have been forced into this one by relative..We are OK about it as there is nothing to worry about. All reports from school, medicals, youth organisations are impressed as to how they have all come along with happy cheery faces...let them bring it on. we just want them back. Verdict 5 weeks.