I'm definitely off, Won't namechange, just going to go.
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Not attention seeking, just thought I'd clear off in the proper way,
I've had some amazing things happen since I've been here, good solid friends, life changing things , which I will always be grateful for.
I don't think I'm sensitive flower, I've always been more concerned about upsetting other people than worried for my own feelings.
Having my opinions and viewpoints pulled apart or mocked I can withstand, but to be belittled by people I feel I have chatted over sometime now actually hurts my feelings, - so, after sobbing into my cocoa for the past hour I know it's time to go.
It's surprising the things that finally make you flounce, innit?
Aw I missed you too 
I missed you, t'other Katie 
And the Telegraph! 
Haha! I've just had a desultory Google trying to find out about this Christmas Scandal. Didn't realise it made the bloody Daily Mail! Slow news week methinks 
How did they make it invitation only though? MNHQ must have set it up?
I only joined in 2009...
I have always heard that rhubarb was just the thing to prevent piles as it keeps things in transit nicely. Feeling let down now.
Did I hear my name being mentioned in association with piles?
'Tis true. I was suffering greatly that infamous Christmas with the variety of grape that you really don't want to eat. I was in agony. Couldn't sit down hardly and was contemplating a Christmas of standing around wincing and grimacing.
Did I get advice on my affliction? Did I hell! Mumsnet was far too preoccupied with some bloody posters stealing all the attention by creating some secret forum where they could presumably talk about their own piles in complete confidence.
Eventually I elected for some DIY remedies. I can wholly recommend shoving ice cubes up your derriere and spending time sitting on frozen peas. Also drink loads as you really really don't want to get constipation either.
Yes the ice cubes will hurt but not as much as trying to shit the Christmas pud out through a bunch of grapes.
After a couple of days, all should be well.
If you need any more advice, PM me and I'll discuss my charges with you 
(I reckon Fenton now takes the record for the longest running flounce. You are very welcome Fenton
)
When was that mint? Another piece of MN folklore which has eluded me. Sigh.
Am in bed with a hot toddy and some pork scratchings (classy)
What was even crueller was that in normal times our Christmas pile suffering colleague would have had shed loads of sympathy and attention. As it happens, her plight was a tiny bit overshadowed.
Christmas piles? A cruel blow 
I have absolutely no idea what's going on... I barely do when it's laid out in bullet points 
But Fenton I'm sorry you have been hurt by someone (or several someones) as you certainly don't deserve it.
Come back soon - I'll miss you. Real Life isn't half as much fun of an evening as this place, you'll soon get fed up of it It really isn't smoke and mirrors you know, the vast majority of people are real, post real things and from the heart - the percentage of trolls, twats and other avoidables isn't that great, it just feels like it sometimes.
Take care, have fun & come back soon!
x
Rhubarb - I had no idea you'd been through all that - sorry to hear it. But I'm pleased you have had such a lot of help as well.
All ye who need piles advice: you could do no better than consulting our own dear Rhubarb on this very thread. For she was suffering greatly on the very Christmas night alluded to within.
Is that not so Rhubs?
No, i leapt up go answer the phone and bashed it sgainst the door jamb. I felt sick when i realised what id done but the pain was OVER!
Oh I'm tempted how did you burst it?
Did it hurt?
I was huge cheerful now I've gone really small. You might have a tiddler floating around in there!
Because I'm not due til the end of May but am the size of a manatee! I have nightmare visions of having to haul my belly around in a wheelbarrow.
pickles if it helps, I had a fucker same size of a cherry tomato. Burst it. Bled for three days but the relief was huuuge. I can even sleep! So....try anging your botty on a door jamb!
Im more worried about them looking at my bum right now, that's all wrong!
What makes you think you have a big fucker baby?
I'm actually worried my fucker baby will be enormous, I have to say.
Oh god! No it was the pile! 
Maryz I thought that too!
I was like, "well jeeeez, Pickles.
Imagining the faces on the post birth text.
Yeah it was a boy, fucker was 9 pounds.
Maryz
!
Imagine.
He ok, managing to shuffle around the house, just hope they do something about the other child.
Can I just admit here that when Pickled said she didn't know what size the fucker was going to be I thought she was referring to her yet-to-be-born baby as a fucker. I was a bit shocked.
My ds2 as well thumb witch ill have a look at yours when I'm on my pc.
It will remind me Phil Mitchell is worth it!
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