generally feeling a bit stuck/blue/not sure!?

[ladypop]

We have a 7 week old, beautiful little boy.
I have a caring and supportive partner too....However, I am finding it hard to adjust to being a mom!

I have never been a particularly broody person and other peoples babies do nothing for me, but i was convinced that when we had our own it would be different. As i said, I am not really a 'baby' person, but thought this would be totally different once we had our own

It is and it isn't - I know that I love him to bits and feel very protective and caring towards him, but sometimes feel somthing is missing within me emotionally.

It took the first few weeks before I started enoying him due to complete lack of sleep and an overwelming feeling just after he was born (all normal, I know)

I think the main issue is the adjustment to this new life. I run a business which I am not really missing at the moment anywya(!) but find it difficult trying to constantly find things to do to settle/keep him happy. I like to fill my days with stimulating things, so am also on the look out for suggestions of things we can do together to keep him happy and me sane!.

I find it difficult that my other half goes out to work and doesn't always have the time/energy to tend to the little one, so it mainly falls to me to settle/feed/keep him happy.....I know this is how it is, i can here you all thinking!, but i'm just finding it hard.

I don't feel I can admit this to my friends and family, which is ridiculaous as they are all really fantastic and supportive, but sometimes I feel a little cold/distant towards our son and I am not sure why and feel ashamed about it.

I am worried that as we had fertility problems and then 2 miscarriages, I got pregnant just to prove that I could carry a baby to full term, and didn't really consider the other side of it! I hate myself for thinking this, but I am simply being honest.

I am not depressed - just a little miserable

help!
x

[pat2chat]

Hi, I can so relate to all of your feelings. My kids are older now ( 15 & 12) but i so had those feelings when my ds was born. I think it is just such an adjustment from working to being a mom with someone else who totally depends on you.

I think you suddenly start questioning your 'role' in life, because no matter how understanding and caring your partner is their life pretty much stays the same.

Don't forget also that it takes a good nine months for your body/hormones etc to settle and still is really early days.

I really found it better to get out of the house and forced myself to join playgroups etc....which i really did not want to but i found structuring my week helpful and you really do meet some life long friends who are in your situation......

Hope this helps a little

[willsurvivethis]

Fertility problems and miscarriages - that doesn't leave you much space to not enjoy motherhood as much as you hoped does it. You've had such a huge journey to get ot motherhood in the first place now it all has to be right.

But the newborn stage is not necessarily easy and not everyone is a baby person, not eve nwith their own baby. I have a friend who with al three children came into her own when they started talking. From the sound of it you love him and care for him appropriately. He will know this and thrive on it. And your relationship with him will develop further.

And, I just gotta say this - it is all fine for your other half to have a busy job and be tired but few jobs are as tiring as looking after a newborn adn he does need to help you and give you a break when he comes back.

As for what to do - well I heard of one MNetter who ran her business with her baby under her desk, it worked for her. Make sure you get out everyday and get to some groups like baby massage courses and mum and baby groups.

[ladypop]

Thank you, it has helped to know that I am not the only one experiencing these feelings.

I think it is the slightly selfish side of me coming out, where I would like to have just a bit of time all to myself and then I would really love and appreciate the time I do then spend with little one.

We are getting him used to taking my milk from a bottle, so once he is happy with that, i can leave him with others for a little bit so I can have a bit of 'me time' too!

Thanks again