Feeling very emotional and down all of a sudden

[livingthehighlife]

I broke off my 8 year relationship with Ds's father a month ago. Up until last night i hadn't cried a single tear. We broke up because the relationship had fizzled out and i felt like i was the only one putting in any effort. ex will admit to this.

So for the last month i have been keeping busy with DS (19mo) and have been trying to make time to see some friends socially. I've had a few ups and downs as a result of the breakup and have had MAJOR financial strains as well as DS breaking his collar bone. All a particularly stressful time.

But yet i still hadn't cried...until last night. Ex came over to watch DS whilst i went to a class i got to on a monday night. When i was on my way home i got a text from him saying not to buy myself any food on the way home as he'd ordered me chinese.

Strangely this was the thing that tipped me over the edge and i think i freaked my ex out. I sobbed my heart out..it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I told him that its hard to detach yourself from them and move on when he's being nice to me. I also felt really frustrated because if he had have done little things like that more often then maybe i would have felt more appreciated and less taken for granted. And maybe we would have still been togteher as a family.

I am really mentally drained today. Trouble is i don't have a counselling appointment until next week and i'm pickling my head about the whole thing.

Why now?

[GetDownYouWillFall]

I think it's normal to feel like this. You've been through massive turmoil in the last month. An 8 year relationship doesn't just come to an end without it affecting you in a big way.
Are you sure it's over? You mention about how if he'd done nice things like ordering you the chinese etc. before then you may not have broken up. Maybe this has been what he needed to give him a bit of a "kick up the you-know-what"? Seems a shame to end it all when there is still something there. But only you know the answer to that.

[thumbsucker]

Hi livingthehighlife, I've just stumbled across your message. I can understand how you must feel pretty drained today. You've managed to 'keep it together' until now but your ex's weird and uncharacteristic niceness last night was like taking a brick out of a fairly wobbly tower. I am not a counsellor but I do know that getting outside and taking a walk may help. Just getting moving and getting some fresh air (ok, take a raincoat it's supposed to rain ALL over the country today) may help. I hope it does. Do you have a friend/sister/mum you can call or invite for a coffee and talk about your feelings to?

[livingthehighlife]

Thanks so much for your messages...

Getdownyouwillfall - unfortunately we have been on this roundabout many many times. Things get good for a little while and then he gets comfortable and the trying stops. I end up feeling so lonely in the relationship. No talking, no effort, no sex etc etc.

Thumbsucker...he is taking our son overnight tonight so i'm looking forward to getting my coat on and driving to the coast for a nice walk. Then i'm going to curl up on the sofa with a cuppa tea and a big bar of choccie. Some long overdue ME time.

[thumbsucker]

Sounds good (the long walk and the cuppa, not the fact that you've been down this road before!) it's so hard to write on here without sounding patronising so I hope I don't come across that way but just remember, if you're serious about breaking up this time, you are only human, it will be hard but you will need all the support you can get so even if you feel like you've posted the same message a hundred times on mumsnet, keep going and be kind to yourself.