On Sertraline - still got anxiety. Will it ever go?

[Sparrow74]

Hi - I'm new here, but have been following some threads for a few weeks.

I'm 36 next month, and would really love a baby, but for some reason when we seriously think about trying for one, I get severe anxiety.

I've been on/off paroxetine for around 10 years, which has always worked for me, but came off it last year to try for a baby (as it can cause birth defects). So I was totally off anti-depressants for three months, when I had a severe anxiety attack, which lasted weeks. Finally went back on Sertraline. It helped for a while, and I was totally well for four weeks, but now it's back.

My doctor increased my dosage from 100mg to 150mg last week - but I'm still struggling with it every day, every minute, every hour.

I'm so scared and finding it hard to cope with the ongoing anxiety, and trying not to use valium too much.

Will I ever get over this and be well again to conceive? Anyone else been through this?

[Lomond]

Hi there, I'm on sertraline for depression and anxiety and it seems to be working well for me. I don't know much about it but would say that if it doesn't seem to be controlling it then the medication is possibly not right for you. I was on lofepramine before and it just didn't seem to be keeping me on an even keel, the anxiety would be there one week and not another and I would go from being ok to being in a severe depression very suddenly.

Sorry I'm not much help but just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon. As for the being well again you will be, it's just a case of finding something that works. It can take many medications before you find the right one for you, keep at your doctor and good luck x

[expatinscotland]

I did better on Effexor/venlafexine, tbh, than on sertraline.

You're on a pretty high dosage.

Go back to your psych consultant and let her know it's not working.

I was having to use valium on sertraline a lot.

NOw, on Effexor (150mg) I'm not having any panic attacks.

I still get insomnia, as I have long before I became depressed, and usually use valium for that only during a particularly bad jag - like tonight.

[LovelyDear]

I had exactly this anxiety about conception and becoming a parent. well, specifically, i developed it the moment i discovered i was expecting ds (now 10) and it prevented me from being able to conceive again, just as you describe, for 4 years, though I do now have a dd (6). I had no drugs at this stage (didn't realise that was an option) but counselling through my GP practice and eventually I managed to intellectualise the decision to conceive versus the fear, so i simply did it and endured the terror until she was born, by which time i was coping better. i then had lots of CBT and now take prozac to manage my persistant generalised anxiety disorder. I don't think my answer is much help, but yes, i know exactly how you are feeling. it was bloody awful. i'm completely fine now but still manage my anxiety with occasional help from a psychiatrist (though we never have proper sex, i'm still too scared).

[LovelyDear]

i don't mean sex with psych!! sorry. confused sentence. i mean of course my very patient dh.

[Sparrow74]

Hello all - thanks for your words of encouragement and support. I'm worried that I don't have many other options with anti-depressants, as the only 'safe' ones that my perinatal psychiatrist was happy with me taking was sertraline and fluoxetine.

I was on fluoxetine (prozac) about 15 years ago and it made me more anxious, so I don't want to try that.

I feel really stuck that Sertraline is my only option. I only upped my dose last week - would that be causing these anxiety symptoms? I'm also really nauseous and can't eat much - the weight is dropping off me. I keep gagging all the time.

LovelyDear - does prozac really help your anxiety, do you think? I'm so relieved to hear that you got through it all OK. I think I will just have to suffer through the pregnancy, as I can't really try any other anti-depressant.

It's the constant pain and fluttering in my heart that upsets me, as well as intrusive thoughts about an ex.

I'm also worried I won't be able to cope as a mother, that I'm too lazy and used to doing things on my own.

I've just about had as much as I can take, it's been weeks and weeks of anxiety and I'm all over the place. I've been in and out of A&E, and had six weeks of home treatment by my mental health team. When will this hell ever end?

[LovelyDear]

oh i so feel for you. i found it really hard to express what it was about becoming a parent that terrified me. i recently saw a hypnotherapist (a bit like neuro linguistic programming) to try to help me get on top of things with my mind rather than drugs, and he was fabulous. i wish id seen him before when i was really really bad. don't suppose you are in london are you...?

i definitely think prozac helps me, and i can say that because when i came off it (gradually) i suffered an almighty episode of the worst anxiety ever, which only went away precisely 4 weeks after i'd started taking it again. i sounded then like you do now. i find 40mg or 60mg a day is the necessary dose for me to get on top of anxiety when it's bad. but each to their own, not everyone responds the same way.

you really don't have to have children, of course. life without them is lovely too, when you are content in your own mind. life with them is a constant challenge,to put it mildly, and (if you read my other current post!) not necessarily the total joy i had imagined.... I have NO idea what decision i'd make if i had my time again.

[Sparrow74]

Hi Lovely Dear - I'm so torn, I used to be desperately and obsessively broody about babies, but since we started to get serious about trying, I totally freaked out. Like you, I can't express what exactly I'm afraid of. I know that not having children is an option, too, but I'm afraid that I will always regret not having them. And I used to volunteer at a children's hospital and was very dealing with the babies and kids - I loved it, in fact. But I can't seem to recapture that joy. What the hell is wrong with me?

I've been seeing a hypno as well - and yes, I'm in London. Although mine talks a bit too much, and doesn't do too much of the hypno stuff. Who is your hypno? Would be very interested in seeing someone else (would be funny if it's the same guy!).

Interesting about your experience prozac, if I don't get any better than I might have to reconsider it. My psychiatrist said that anti-depressants can have different effects on you at different times in your life, so just because it didn't work for me when I'm 20, doesn't mean it won't work for me now at 35.

(By the way, thanks for talking to me and sharing your experience, means so much!)

[LovelyDear]

this is an article about the man i saw. you can google him for his phone no. i could imagine he would rub some people up the wrong way, but totally unintentionally. he's a good man, intelligent and honest. i like the fact that he was a gp too, kind of ticks my science vs hooey box. if you know what i mean.

My pre-parent experience was of being auntie to a multitude of kids and LOVING them all so much, crying whenever we went away from them... i've never had that overwhelming feeling about my own kids. i think it easier to be free and happy about other children because you aren't responsible for them. that's the scary part. i'm also a hell of a lot nicer to my friends children than i am to my own. it's a bummer. the time limit we have with conception is so hard, it pushes us into a decision when it's not necessarily the right time for us. i was also time-aware because my parents were both dying (slowly) and i wanted to have children while they were still around. i'm glad i did.

i should say that by about 4 months into both my pregnancies i was totally content and accepting, albeit nervous, and the day-to-day business of becoming a parent was lovely. i just lived with a background uncertainty. i'm fine now (usually!)