Hello,
Im hoping someone out there can give me advice, I really dont know what is wrong with me.
Somehow, I have pushed everyone close away from me, I have no friends, I have fallen out with my mother, we have always has a crap relationship, even my husband believes I am better off without her.
I have very few friends, its really hard to explain, but I dont get close to people, and I always think really negative about people. My husband says It like I put a bubble around myself and dont let people in, Im cold towards everyone I meet, I can never relax, and find it really hard hold a conversation with anyone, I cant even do small talk, its like my brain freezes when im face to face with anyone.
Im also super paranoid that everyone is out to get me, ...Im a housewife with a 18 month old and 4 yr old, I only leave the house to take and pick up dd from school, and I dread doing that, I know I should be chatting to other mums at the school, but I just cant, i panick and run, I have had to chat to some mums but im so freaked that whatever I say I sound like a twat.
When I first met my MIL, i got on so well with her, she was really easy going, i even went to work for her, and she asked me if I wanted to take over her business when she retires, ...but then i started being like I am, and our relationship turned sour, and she asked me if I wanted to carry on working for her, my head was so messed up I said no not really, and left, ..every job I have a dont know how I do it but i manage I end up leaving beacause I think they all hate me....
I am on anti-depressants, I have been feeling so shit about my life that I want to end it. Doc says theres a years waiting list for therapy .....I cant go on like this I dont know whats wrong with me or what to do...I would be grateful for any advice.
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Mental health
Help??..what is wrong with me???...
6 replies
TheGhostOfAMushroom · 21/09/2009 10:54
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