I know I need help, but quite how I do this I don't know.
I guess I need to just say, in case its relevent, that I have a history of clinical depression, but currently I feel I am in a good place generally (about 98% of the time), with no medication. At my lowest I had thoughts of killing myself or selfharming, but never carried them out.
I binge eat like no-ones business, I can eat amounts that would make a normal person recoil in horror, and very rarely feel full now. But its not every day I binge to that scale, its generally I stick to 3 meals a day with no snacks, but its the volume I eat, with only very few days where I eat and eat and eat. I know it is mainly a tool for me to deal with things I dislike in my life, or negative feelings I have (but it never makes me feel any better).
I am currently living at home due to finances and circumstances beyond my control, for at least the next 2 years, and my mum is on my back constantly, chipping away at me about how I do everything, from the washing up, or what I drink, or what I'm watching on TV, you name it.
The most dangerous one I think is the criticisms of what I'm eating (or not eating.) Every day I wake up determined to have a day where I "loose control", but every day I fail. She nitpicks what I'm eating, when I'm eating it, how i'm eating it, you name it, and its not in a concerned mum way, it is very much in an accusatory, negative way, as other people are starting to pick up on it.
Today for example I wasn't hungry, so didn't have breakfast, had a chicken sandwich for lunch, and as I'm not too hungry still, am having a ham sandwich for dinner, and have already received lectures on should I be eating that much bread, and what was wrong with salad, and how if i continue I won't be able to walk and don't I have any pride, etc etc
How can I break this cycle with no support? I really hate eating so much, but can't see a way to get out, especially with current cirumstances
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
Binge Eating/Food as a crutch.
8 replies
FatFailure · 04/05/2009 18:02
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.