I'm a bit worried about my neighbour.

[beansmum]

I live upstairs from a man is his 70s. Recently there have been a couple of incidents which made me think he's getting a bit confused. A couple of weeks ago he almost calle dthe fire brigade in a panic because he thought his house was on fire, turns out he had burnt some toast.

Today he phoned me to tell me that he was downstairs. He said "I'm in number 9, in my bedroom but I don't know why, are you in number 11?" I said yes, are you ok and he said he was just wondering if it would be ok if he had a bath. I just said not to worry and explained that he doesn't have to ask me.

Just now he has come outside in his underwear (long, thermal ones but not really appropriate outdoor wear, especially with the urine stains down the front) and asked me to apologise to my mother, he thought he had spoken to her on the phone. He said he had just finished his bath but he didn't look very clean. Again I asked if he was ok and he said that his sister was there keeping him company so I left him. I have just realised that his sister died this year. I feel terrible for not realising when he told me earlier (in my defence I'm slightly stressed, I have removal men coming tomorrow to ship all my furniture to NZ).

Basically, I don't know what to do. Is this normal for his age? Should I tell someone I'm concerned? Who? I think he's ok on his own really, I just don't want to go off to NZ and then hear that he DID burn his house down or something.

[frumpygrumpy]

Yeah, I would tell someone. Sounds like life is overtaking him somewhere. Could just be a simple beginning of dementia, which can come at anytime.

It maybe he has a caring family and it just needs them to be more aware. Do you know his doctor? Could you write to the surgery explaining your concerns? Would he let you in his flat and let you take a look at his address book? I know that is not entirely 'safe' for him to do but you know you are doing it with his safety in mind.

My granny is 84 and lives in a stair full of similar. But there is also a cord system and a support system who have links to family etc so we have someone to tell when we find someone is wandering around in their undies.

You will go with a happy heart if you have done something. x

[ScoobyDoo]

I work in care doing care work, we work very closely with social services & alot of our clients come from social services who assess the situation and can get him some help, i would call ss and just let them know your concerns and they can asses him and see what they think, maybe he needs carers to help him with personal care/medication and things....

[27]

This isnt normal. Do you know who his GP is? If so then you could pass the information onto them.

Another option would be to contact social work, and tell them about your concerns.

[beansmum]

He has no family nearby, and never has friends visiting. His brother and sister both died this year, his son doesn't seem interested in him, he visits once or twice a year and never stays overnight.

I'm not sure who his GP is, but I'll call the two possibilities tomorrow. Will they be able to tell me if he's a patient though?

[ScoobyDoo]

Personally i would just call social services as they can then contact him and then get a doctor if need be.

[frumpygrumpy]

They won't be able to discuss his records or his health requirements but I am sure, given the nature of your call, that they will help. If they can't do anything, they can perhaps explain what you should do. I agree, social services may be the number you need. Should be in the phone book under your local Council listing.

[27]

Might be easier just to tell social work then. If there are medical needs then they can help him access medical help.

[ScoobyDoo]

You can call today is well as social services have a 24 hr line, they will then decide when to send someone out to see him.

[beansmum]

Thanks everyone. I'll try social services and see what they say. I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do, or if I was overreacting slightly.

[27]

You arent overreacting. If he is fine and coping then social work can just leave him be, but it sounds like at the very least they need to look in on him.

[ScoobyDoo]

Honestly social services will be happy to help, it's also to be safe than sorry, he may just have an infection or something, it does however sound like he is struggling.

[blackrock]

Yes social services may be able to help him, by getting in touch with any family, or helping to set up any care services he needs. Let us know how you get on. Poor guy, must be tough when you don;t have close family keeping an eye out for you. I hope you can find him some help.