Trying to stay positive........

[lucyellensmum]

I don't know whether to feel angry or tearful to be honest.

I have been feeling more positive over the past few weeks. Well at least i have been trying and i think ive been doing ok. But it just seems what one wrong or unkind word from DP and i slip straight back again.

He has been shitty all weekend, ok so he is stressed but no more than normal. I fell asleep yesterday with DD, well we fell asleep together and he got into a major stress because she might have been difficult to get to sleep, and he "wished he could just go to sleep". I dont normally do this, DD is only 2.9 so its not generally a good idea, but i had to take an antihistamine yesterday and it knocked me for six. So got sarcastic comments about it. Apparently i served him up the worse sunday dinner he had ever had (it was pretty grim, the gravy was gross) and he was really shit to me in front of DD when we put her to bed. She was playing up and he just kept telling me to get out of the room, oh and out of his life WTF??

Tonight he comes in, hes hungry, i hadn't started dinner, unbeknown to him, DD and I had been napping again - daren't tell him. He said "have you not done dinner then?" um, no, since when have i had your dinner on the table when you get home from work. He had a strop about it, he actually had a fucking strop about being starving and i was laying on the sofa (watching ceebeebies with a very tired DD, enjoying a cuddle, so fucking what). So, we have had dinner, put DD to bed without so much as one word for each other. Before dinner he told me he hates me and the way when he comes home from work im always grumpy - i mean, i wouldnt mind, but i wasnt grumpy at all - groggy and tired from the antihistamine but not grumpy, as i say, ive been trying to be positive and get a grip back on my life.

Not spoken a word to me since putting DD to bed, not a word . How the hell am i supposed to be positive and un miserable if i have to contend with a fucking CHILD of a man. I am trying my hardest not to let this upset me, so trying to stay angry.

[BlaDeBla]

It's really tough to take on someone else's problems, especially baby-adults. It's also difficult when you are the one who has found life difficult and you think it's all your fault. It's not

Dh and I spent a long time in councelling because we were just picking each other to bits and it was horrible.

Anger and sadness can feel very similar. (((((HUGS)))))

[lucyellensmum]

Well, he apologised, so now ive got to get out of this black mood. HIS problem, HIS stress - i shouldnt let it affect me. difficult to ignore spiteful comments though. No more self pity just

[littlewoman]

If you have the energy, you should really tackle this behaviour of his. I would be inclined to ask him why you're not allowed to sleep in the day if you are tired. Don't mean to interfere, but unless he pays you an hourly rate to care for his child, wtf is his problem? If he shouts and you apologise he gets the impression that he is right, but he is not right here. If you can, I would talk to him about it.

[lucyellensmum]

oh he knows, he knows . I think the problem is mine though, i just get so upset over the littlest thing and then let it fester. I am going to speak to DP about this in a non accusatory way - there are certain aspects of what he says when he is stressed that i am not prepared to put up with as it does undermine my trying to be positive about things.

I do need to recognise when others are stressed and learn not to take things so personally.