Suicidal tendencies - how can we help each other?

[paperchain]

I dont know if this thread is a good idea or not, if not, perhaps it can be deleted?

Basically, I suffer with a serious mental health disorder and frequently feel actively suicidal. It is a very lonely place to be, despite having lots of friends.

I know there are many others who use MN who feel this way, or who have felt this way in the past.

Sometimes when we feel so bad, sharing how we feel wtih others who know what it is like, can help. Perhaps we can do this here?

The only thing I would say is that we are each responsible for ourselves and are not responsible for the actions of others.

Paperchain
x

[jingleyjen]

With you,
how you doing this evening?

[paperchain]

umm getting drunk, you know, same old same old

you? {{{{{}}}}}

[jingleyjen]

am alone, DH out, kids in bed..
am trying not to fester abotu meeting with psychiatrist the other day.

[paperchain]

my dh just home, need to get his supper in a mo

tell me about dr and I will be back {{{{{}}}}

[paperchain]

keep talking jen... I am back now...

[jingleyjen]

I just am frightened if I am honest. I have been me forever. I like the idea of feeling less anxious, feeling less fearful of others, believing my DH when he says he loves me, believing that when people say they like me,

I just have no idea if that is possible, it feels a bit like I may get my hopes up only to be let down again.

[jingleyjen]

nuff about me, you sound like you are further down the road with all this than I am..
How you getting on ?

[paperchain]

noooooooooooooo

I like to hear about other Jen. Tell me more.... please

I am not great, but that is life I'd rather be dead, but I know that is selfish so for the moment I carry on.

[jingleyjen]

the core to my problem is that in the past I have asked for help and was let down..
so asking for help has been a nightmare..

[paperchain]

oh I know all about that

unfortunately I know about being let down

{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

keep talking

[dailymalelover]

why do you want her to talk but you don't say anything?

[paperchain]

eh?

[jingleyjen]

what? I don't understand?

[paperchain]

me neither... HUGS Jen

I am a bt drunk now - make s a change, not. But I need to block everythin out and this is one of the ways

[paperchain]

for cod:

I am glad you dont understand how this feel
and I hope you never do
but enough of us do
it is a sad and lonely place
and I wish I had never been there
but I have
and I do
and I am
and now I will find another chat room

[TotalChaos]

don't really know how to respond, but didn't want you to think that your recent post had gone unanswered or unread.

[wotulookinat]

Paperchain, don't go. I think our paths have crossed before on MN (I was itsahardknocklife until last week). I'm here, and I am understanding how you feel. I am a bit pissed though!

[DumbledoresGirl]

She found the other thread started by cod. I have told her not to go but she is adamant and apparently has emailed something rude to MN.

[wotulookinat]

which thread? I shall go on the hunt...

[wotulookinat]

Can someone give me a link?

[DumbledoresGirl]

Click on site stuff and it will be the top thread wot.

[DumbledoresGirl]

PC has just walked out on me now (on msn) too.

I don't know what the answer is to this spate of sad threads we have been having, but cutting people off from whatever support they can find is not the right answer.

[lucyellensmum]

paperchain, don't go please.........

Jingley.........how you doing???

I don't think ive ever really been properly suicidal, but ive thougth about it as a cry for help? Or i just think about it.....i don't want to do it, but i think about it, how i will do it....it reminds me of a poem, its a bit tongue in cheek but it ironically makes me smile.

This is the one: Resume, but Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Gun's arent lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

It has a real sense of resignation about it but also an underlying message to fight back, i think, but im no literary critic, ive also been known to talk alot of shit.

As to whether this thread is a good idea?? Im not entirely sure either, can one spend to much time pondering this, we talk about it like its something that is acceptable and normal, but it isn't is it? I'm all for support threads me - heaven knows i like to vent.

Can we help each other? Yes i think we can, but im not sure we should focus on the ultimate conclusion, rather stopping ourselves from contemplating such a devestating act. FFS, i have a crippling fear of dying that makes me suicidal sometimes, how fucked up is that!

[jingleyjen]

I will not be posting about any of this stuff I shouldn't have got involved in this thread.

Thanks for asking though LEM, I will get there.