I need a kick up the proverbial

[flubbydub]

I have so many things going on right now that i feel like I am about to explode.
I came of my Ad about 2 month ago as I was having a Breast reduction on xmas eve.
I am moving house soon, although one move has already fallen through and now we are getting close to the dates this one looks like it might as well.
My dd1 is having tests for diabetes and coeliacs and I am waiting for the results, knowing I can't try anything to make her feel better until we have them, am also feeling v guilty that she is 4.5yo and I am only getting these tests now.
My dd2 does not sleep very well and takes a long time to put down at night and gets out of bed every 5mins from about 5.30am, I am very tired.
My Dh is a grumpy B*&%$.
I have gone back on my Ad yesterday as I have started losing my rag with Dd1 all the time, she whines constantly although it is not actualy her fault, she is exhausted.
I think that is everything.
Anyway i know that I am a whinging cow bag but I just needed to have a moan as I think my RL friends are sick to death of me. I have also name changed as I have posted on here that many bloody times recently that I think even mners will be getting tired of me.
I know that everything is positive really and that I have absolutly no right to be so stressed considering what some on here are going through I just feel so sad and stressed and out of control.

[LieselVonTrapp]

well it is statistically the most depressing time of the year

[lucyellensmum]

flubby, how long were you off your ADs, what are they? It might just be you readjusting to them, if you normally cope well with all that life is throwing at you lately!

Tiredness is a killer too, which is probably why your DH is a grumpy fecker too.

Did you have your breast reduction?? I have often thought about having one of those, but i have got kind of used to my mammary mountains - they are like a pair of friends .

This IS a shitty month though, i had a serious meltdown last week, and everyone i talk to just seems down in the dumps, the weather is shit, money is tight, bahdebladehblah.

You are NOT a whinging cow, you should read my posts, i am surprised i have not been banned for spreading doom and gloom!!

We are having problems with DD sleeping too - it is exhausting so i sympathise.

Please don't feel guilty about your DD1. You are not a doctor (are you?) how are you supposed to know if those tests are appropriate and lets face it as mums we tend to be patted on the back and sent on our neurotic way! The fact remains that you ARE having these tests done now, and worrying as that might be, that is a positive thing, as both of these conditions are managable. If she is diabetic that may well contribute to her whinging, but then its most likely because she is a 4.5yo and a normal little girl in that respect. You must NOT feel guilty.

We all need a kick up the bum from time to time i agree, but from here, it seems like you are in more need of a massage and a cuddle

[flubbydub]

Actually just take top strenght st Johns Wort as prescribed AD did nothing for me, weeks after I tried these I was a different person (or the person I would actually like to be). I have been off them for about 2 months, I should have started again straight after op but thought I was OK, obviously still in my system. I started again yesterday but they take about 3 weeks to work, during which time i will be moving house and getting Dd's test results. Dh is Ok, he has been looking after me while I recovered from Op, new boobs are fab and should be enough of a reason not to feel so sad, I also no longer have the severe back pain that was constant before.
I have let doctors fobb me off about dd so many times before, saying her behaviour and tiredness is normal when I know in my heart it is extreme. I just didn't trust my own judgement and it has reached the point where she is so tired that she curled up under the chair in docs office.
The house is also a reallyu positive thing, I think it is just so far out of my control that I am constantly worrying, it was supposed to take my mind off dd but is now just as worrying, thing is one house purchase already fell through and if this falls through we won't have enough money left to try again, already spent so much on costs. We live in a flat and I think dds would be so much better behaved if we had a garden to let off steam in.
I am going on again, I have read your post LEM and you are definatly not whinging, I on the other hand should count my blessings, I can't sleep at night as there is so much going on in my head, I think that tiredness is probably making everything ten times worse.

[lucyellensmum]

There are plenty of threads on here that make me count my blessings and then i am mortified about my posts when i am down, but i just have to accept that i am unwell and ranting on here is a great outlet.

I hate that out of control feeling, i really do. Do be careful with the St Johns wort though, it can cause similar side effects to certain ADs and if you do go onto SSRIs at some point (CITALOPRAM, prozac, etc) you must tell your doctor about the St Johns as there can be a negative interaction and you must stop taking the st johns two weeks before taking the SSRIs.

Of course the house is positive, but isnt it supposed to be one of the most stressful times in peoples lives?

In times of great pressure, when i have been well, i find it helps to focus on a time where, shit or bust, the pressures will be gone - so, visualise yourself in your new home, once all the upheaval is over, sitting having a cuppa, planning what you might be doing with the garden or decorating the bathroom You are getting your DD sorted so there are brighter times for you both ahead. I really admire your tenacity with the medics to get this sorted, i think they fob parents off far to much. The practice nurse where i am told me there is no such thing as an over anxious parent. Go with your instinct - she is lucky, she has you for a mum, someone else mght have just let things drag on.

I must go now, i have to do my DPs accounts, i have had the pressue taken off as he says he has no money to pay them so at least i dont have to stress about them being done late - it makes no difference .

Onwards and upwards

[flubbydub]

I had to come off my prozac last March suddenly as I got Labrynthitis (i think thats how you spell it) and the treatment for that would have clashed with the ADs, I also had to stop b/f dd2 so was really shite time.
I know what you mean about your instincts, when you are not feeling 100% it is very easy to believe the 'experts' and forget what you feel. I have always found something to attribute dds behaviour to, sibling rivalry, my PND, me generally being a really shit parent and not having a bloody clue what i am doing. The problem is that since Dd2 was born my feelings for dd1 have changed, I feel so guilty about this that I try to make up for it constantly, she is just such hard work, no matter what i do to try and make her happy she just whines all the time. The harder I try the worse she gets, I know now that it is not either of our faults. When I started taking the St John wort I would go into the kitcyhen everythime I felt myself losing it and look at the tablets and tell myself it was not them it was me. This really helped my temper but as I started to feel better I realised that it actually isn't me either.
I just hate how i feel about things some times.
Good luck with the accounts .