lonely

[pinkum]

i never thought being a mum could be so lonely. i just saw my p of to work and put 6 month down and im so sad. im in a little town on my own with no car and im just crying and crying am i ungreatful? i have a beautiful baby and husband and im so lonely.

[Ulysees]

no you're not ungrateful. I felt like this with ds1 until I got out to baby groups and met up with other mums. Are there any within a bus ride? How long have you felt down?
You're not alone remember, we're here. I didn't even have a computer in those days so no mumsnet.

[pinkum]

hi ulysees.
there are hardly any groups and the buses are too much i havent got the money to get them and there so infrequent im worried about getting stuck out with bb wanting to sleep. i dont always feel like this.

[Ulysees]

that's good that you don't always feel this way. Are there any mumsnetters near to you as they'll no doubt have cars. Is there a local church? How many babies and toddlers on average would you say there are? Once you feel more confident maybe you could start a mums coffee morning? Put a note in the local shop? I bet there'll be others in the same situation hun?

[pinkum]

there are other mums with babys the same age and we do get together on the nct meetings i can get to but when i suggest to any of them we get together another time they say there doing other stuff and i dont want to make them feel like they have to take me and i feel like they just dont let me know whats going on and it makes me feel like they dont like me. isnt that pathetic. there is a breast pall group but bb wants to go for his sleep within half an hour of getting there and 1.50 is alot of money for half an hour.

[Ulysees]

Have you given your number out to nct mums? Just take the bull by the horns and do it, what have you got to lose? or maybe say at next meeting if any of you fancy coffee at mine on such and such a day you're all welcome, then hand out little homemade cards with your address, email and phone number on? I know it can be hard to be so forward but there's bound to be one who you'll gel with and most of them may be a little shy. If you make it sound like it's for all of them then they may come? Although I know some groups can be clique so hope this is not the case?
Have you talked to your HV?

[lulumama]

there must be mumsnetters near you..have you tried starting a thread in meet ups?

have you spoken to your HV, they have a list of groups and coffee mornings...find out if there are any organised pram walks near you

ulyssess has some great advice there

[talcy0]

Also felt like this, pinkum....

my dds are 8 & 7 now...

I'm not suggesting it is the same for you...

but i felt alone, yet could't be arsed with other people (esp. not other parents)...wouldn't open door or answer phone etc...

Took me a visit to gp to realise i had PND.

Again...not saying this is the case with you,

but worth bearing in mind.
PS. My dh is psychiatric nurse & didn't have a clue that i was poorly!!!

[pinkum]

hv? when i went for my 6 wk doc check i said i was realy down, had thought about harming bb doc said it was normal but would tell hv. they said nothing. one day i went into weight in burst into tears they said they were buisy and would talk to me later, then didnt bother so i went home.
as far as other girls are concerned if i have to try that hard to get together id rather be on my own.

[Ulysees]

can you give us an idea of your location pinkmum then if I'm near to you I can stalk you ....just kidding

[Ulysees]

Omfg at your docs and hv!!! this is outrageous and should be reported. What did your dh say about this?

[talcy0]

My HV came to do a assessment thingy....as routine.... i passed with flying colours.....i fibbed with my answers 'cos i didn't want her to think i wasn't coping!

[pinkum]

im in somerset. stalk if you like
hb was angry but has been v supportive comes home if i need him,
bb is awake now so cant talk much longer maybe later.

[Ulysees]

glad to hear dh is supportive I have to go too hun, got a dr and hv to hunt down and assault no, just hoovering before mate comes. She had pnd by the way, the most serious type. They should have assessed you for this and your dr needs a slap.
Take care and catch you later hun xxxxx

[Ulysees]

talcy0 this is so common I even did this myself although my depression was mild. My friend I just mentioned lied too, to everyone she seemed the ultimate super mum and inside she was a wreck. Why do we punish ourselves so much when it's the most common thing to have pnd?

[pinkum]

the thig was i did even lie. i hoped theyd help me.

[pinkum]

gotta go now. thanks

[Ulysees]

that's awful, you should be getting help pinkmum.
My picnic is off, mate brought picnic but as she left house got the trots and did another couple of times here. So, I'm off to town in a moment. Hope I don't get her tummy bug though!

[Ulysees]

sorry, meant pinkum

[pinkum]

thanks ulysees hope you dont catch it.

[Ulysees]

Hope not too
Did you check to see if there's any somerset mners? Bit too far for me to stalk you as I'm in the north east

[Desiderata]

I'm in Somerset, Pinkum. But it's a big county, so give us a clue!

[Ulysees]

Hi desiderata Maybe you could stalk her for me?
Lucky you two living there, I hear it's beautiful.

[Desiderata]

It is, Ulysees ... but it stinks of cow shit

[Ulysees]

No romantic camping then

How you doing pinkum?