Help...need advice for DH

[itsdarkindover]

To cut a very long story short I have really been through the mill with DH, since his Dad died a couple of years ago. I have put up with a lot of verbal abuse amongst other things. Lately he seemed to be better but yesterday he completely went off on one. It stemmed from a mess I had got into and had to call him to help me out, Anyway, he made a really big thing of it and went off at me for not being ?grateful enough?, I said thank you to him at the time and later on. He then went out to watch the football and kissed me when he left, then when he returned he had gone back to being Mr Angry and really had a go at me, he said that I was fat and a ?turn off?. This morning he is full of apologies saying he doesn?t know why he said those things other than at the time of saying them he thinks he is right, he then broke down and said that he feels like he is ?losing the plot?. However, after his outburst last night I have decided that I have had enough of it and I don?t want our children to hear and see his behaviour. He is begging me to support him to get through it. I just don?t know what to do? I just wanted to get it all out. Thanks.

[tinymum]

Hes obviously having a hard time and taking it all out on you. Is he getting any professional help? Might be depressed?

[itsdarkindover]

I think he might be depressed. I feel bad for saying it but I have been through that much with him, I just can't take any more of him. I suppose if I really loved him, I would want to help him? I suggested he went to his Mum's until he felt better. He says if I leave he will never leave me alone and will fight any new man in my life (not that I have ever said anything about leaving or finding a new man).

[tinymum]

Of course you love him, but you love your children too and they must come first. He must realise this. Also sometimes the best kind of love is tough love. You might not be helping him by sticking by him no matter what. It wont exactly spur him on to sort himself out, will it?

[MrsWednesday]

My DH has been suffering badly with stress over the last few months and has struggled to cope with it. Yesterday he bought a book about stress management that's giving him something to focus on: breathing techniques, exercise, eating properly etc. He's also been using a relaxation CD to help him sleep.

It's early days yet but I think it's useful for him to have some practical ideas to think about. I can't remember the title of the book he's got (I can let you know later if you're interested), but there's loads of others on Amazon. It could be worth trying something like this first perhaps?