Dieting after eating disorder recovery

[NameChange1002]

I've posted this in the eating disorders section too but it's very quiet in there!

NC'd as I don't want this associated with my other posts.
Short version:

• Developed anorexia at the age of 13.
  
• 3 months of inpatient treatment at 15 after dropping to a v low BMI.
  
• After this I bounced erratically between relapse and recovery until 19.
  
• Serious relapse at 19 meant I went back into inpatient for 2 months.
  
• Then made a concerted effort to 'get better'. All fine for the past 5 years with no ED thoughts at all for the last year.
  

I'm now at a point where I'm feeling very uncomfortable with my weight again (I am at the higher-end of a 'healthy' BMI for my height) and would really like to lose 2 stone. Unfortunately I don't know how to do this without resorting the ED behaviours and, as a result, I'm finding myself resorting to old behaviours and restricting in the way that I did at the height of my ED.

Does anyone have any advice for losing a small amount weight with a history of an ED? The only info I've managed to find online basically says to not even consider trying to lose weight but it's just not an option to do nothing.

[Namechangenurseryconcerns]

Oh that sounds hard.
What about changing one small thing at a time in the knowledge that the weight will come off slowly?
So for example start by drinking more water, then after a few weeks drop some sugar from your diet, add in an extra hour of exercise a week?
Focus on fuelling your body efficiently with good quality nutrients.
Hope you find a solution.

[Namechangenurseryconcerns]

Mind you 2 stone is a big drop for someone in the healthy bmi range. I am near the top of the healthy range and 2 stone off would make me very thin.
Maybe aim for half a stone and see how you feel?

[BrieAndChilli]

I don't have any advice but I am in the same boat
I was bulimic age 16, had counselling and recovered.
20 years later having resisted dieting and 3 children later I am/was 3 stone over weight.
I started going to the gym/fitness classes (and hated it) I also decided to diet,
4 weeks later I find my self trying to eat 500-800 calories a day and monitoring every bite in myfitnesspal.
I've lost a stone since I started and am feeling quite good about losing the weight but I know I am slowly getting sucked into a dark place. I feel ok one day then the next I feel like a beached whale again
I feel like because I am overweight it doesn't matter as long as I am losing weight but I am worried about what will happen when I hit my target, hopefully I will be able to stop and keep a healthy lifestyle to keep that weight!

[TwentyCups]

Oh I've been here.
It's so hard because I managed to recover by eating whenever I felt I could, anything I thought I could manage. Not all this stuff was healthy.

I've tried to diet without slipping back into old habits and find it difficult. I'm currently, like you, at the top end of a healthy bmi, and struggle with that - since I have been around five stone less previously.

I've found exercise the way forward for me to maintain a healthy weight. My eating disorder did not include obsessive exercising so I find it is not a trigger.

I like to go running when I can, and focus on how far/fast I can go, and don't even look at how many calories I have burned. This keeps my weight in check without affecting the good eating habits I have learned.

Good luck, this is a difficult place to be. It's especially hard because if you mention it everyone assumes you are relapsing.

[dangermouseisace]

That's a hard one. I'm ex anorexic too, and uncomfortable with my weight gain due to AD's and running injury. I know I can't diet though... I don't have scales in the house/ never weigh myself as they are not helpful. I try to follow the 'eat when you're hungry, stop when you're not' mantra, and choose healthy (no diet) foods and do some exercise. If you feel uncomfortable you will probably find your brain does little things like stops you eating quite so much without realising. I personally would not diet, and trust that by continuing to eat normally you'll probably lose weight anyway through eating slightly less. I find exercise good for not focusing on weight, but instead focussing on strength. I was proud of my chunky muscly calves!

[ApocalypseSlough]

It sounds hard- well done for acknowledging that your history complicated things.
I'm also at the top end of ideal BMI and losing 2 stone would put me at the bottom. It was my normal weight for years and I'm only bigger now because I'm not a anxious wreck, living on nerves and coffee.
I'm not an expert but I think setting a more realistic goal and aiming to reach it through exercise and small changes would be safer.
Eg to go from 10.5 stone to 9.5 through cutting out weekday drinking and swimming 3x week.
If you still feel you want to be lighter after you've achieved that then get some help before you carry on- dietician or counsellor- and go very gently on yourself.