Well it's official.........

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

my winter depression has finally hit. I'm feeling crap and frustrated with everyone. The constant noise in the house is driving me insane. Work is not much better. I'm fat, annoying...well you know what the list is.

I hate this illness. My head is heavy and I feel like I'm actuallly in pain. I want a little white room to sit in all by myself for days.


Sorry just needed a grumble, I'll probably feel guilty about posting this soon. "Posting only feeds your neediness, selfish b1tch!"Something like that anyway.

[LieselVonTrapp]

Yeah selfish bitch cheer the f. up. Alternatively I have a magnolia room you can come and sit in, its padded and has a tea making machine (well a kettle anyway).
Seriously if you want a chat pop round anytime.

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

Thanks Liesel. I hate the winter, love the snow, but hate winter. Haven't been this bad for a while though.

[mumtogusnalbie]

Hi MoreEggnog,
please send me some of your noise!! I am sitting on my own and my sons have been in bed since 6.30pm. I am just depressing myself by reading sad threads about people losing babies which just brings back very painful memories so some of your noise may help to distract me!
I too feel fat - I joined a thread to try and lose 10lbs but ended up putting on a couple - have been really good for past 3 days though so looking good for this week.
The white room sounds ok - can I sleep in mine though instead of just sitting?!

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

Your room is for you and you alone. You may sit, sleep, dance, sing, fart!

[LieselVonTrapp]

Just remember what day Friday is and after that it will be only 24 more sleeps till Santa comes.

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

How long till the sun comes back? I miss him.

[mumtogusnalbie]

I want that room now!
A cup of tea, some home made cookies, a quilt with a freshly washed cotton cover and a really squishy feather pillow (oh and a few diazapam) sounds good to me!!
Only about 4 months now until we see the signs of spring and then summer will be upon us - yippee.

[LieselVonTrapp]

Now I never mentioned fluffy pillows, cotton covers or diazepam, but I do a nice cappucino.

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

A fluffy duvet and pillows and a place to hide are my only requests.

[LieselVonTrapp]

Do you take St Johns Wort?

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

I really hate myself tonight. It's nothing in particular but I feel trapped in a fat, ugly body. I want to run away but can't because of my two wonderful kids. I want someone to make me feel gorgeous and sexy. My dh is great and I love hom completely. He tells me he loves me all the time I don;'t really think that I'll ever feel good about myself. I'm sitting on my own crying. Why does depression have to hurt so much. It just crept over me tonight. I haven't been this bad in a long time. SHit, shit, shit, shit. Can't tell anyone. Don't want to upset DH. Can't tell mum, she has enough just now. My friend who always helped me through it has moved away. I'm in a new job and don't want anyone to know. Mumsnet is the only place I can talk freely. If you've read all this thanks so much. Even just a reply post of . would be great. I seem to be kiling threads. Or is it just the way I'm feeling|????????????????

[IvortheEngine]

I think not telling dh would be more upsetting to him than telling him. He can only help and understand if he knows. That's meant very kindly, btw.

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

Thanks for your post ivor. He would be upset and TBH he can prpbably see it for himself. He's got an exam for work coming up though I if I tell him I then try harder to cover it up.

[domesticslobess]

Sorry that you're feeling so low-are you taking any anti depressants or St john's Wort? It's horrible when the dark days of depression engulf you,(I've been there on several periods of my life) I hope you are able to climb out of it.

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

Not on AD. Does St Johns Wort really help?

[domesticslobess]

There have been several proven scientific tests that show it has the same effects as Prozac and other SSI anti depressants. It certainly worked for me and my MIL. However not suitable if on certain medications (including the pill-check at the chemist.)

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

I'm not on any other meds. I'll get some tomorrow. Thanks. Do I need to go to the chemist or can I buy fromo ASDA?

[domesticslobess]

Off the shelf at Asda is fine,

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

Thanks so much domesticslobess. It's very much appreciated.

[jeangenie]

have been on st john wort for a couple of months now and feeling much better (never have been diagnosed depressed but have felt very very blue on occasions) when I did go to the gp about it on one occasion he said he could refer me for counselling but it would take months and that st j w was recognised as being as effective as a mild antidepressent

is there no-one else you can talk to? I bottled myself up for years and just recently told a few close people and it was helpful

try the st johns wort
(holland and barrett had them on special offer recently) but they can mess with the pill so be careful if you are on it

[MoreEggnogAnyone]

THanks jeangenie. I'm definately going to get some tomorrow and see what happens. My head just feels so sore all the time. Not a headache but a pressure from feeling down and tired all the time. Hopefully St Johns Wort will sort me out.

[jeangenie]

good luck