I'm going to preface this by saying that I have really severe anxiety; mostly manifesting in social phobia, agoraphobia and germ phobia. I don't think this is related but I am entrenched.
Coincidences. I mean, they exist, right? They wouldn't have a word otherwise, would they?
I am constantly overwhelmed by things that are unrelated at first, but then become related. I feel like I'm being watched constantly. It's stupid things, like I'll be watching TV and on the internet at the same time, and a word that I'm reading will be said on the TV at the same time. The other day I was reading a thread on here about buying a mattress, and an advert for Travelodge came on at the same time as I read a post about Lenny Henry liking the mattresses.
So I think that people must be watching me because how else would the two things coincide. This happens A LOT. Like seriously, more than five times a day, I'll be reading something online and something on the TV will match up to it. Either a word, or an advert, or a personality. I read the word "Alex" as an advert for the Hotel Inspector happened, for example.
I can't deal with this. I do have a lot of anxiety, and I've recently been diagnosed with OCD, but this is separate. I am at the point where I want to die because people are obviously watching me and I can't cope with it.
I have self-harmed for 16 years and attempted suicide so many times that I can't even count them. I'm beyond repair at this point. I just want to stop being watched.
I want to die. I really want to stop them watching me and stop this happening. Coincidences are one thing but they happen SO MUCH and this is just not ok , is it? Does this happen to other people?
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Mental health
I can't think of a title, this is too much.
20 replies
littlegingercat · 02/05/2015 01:09
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