how to be better and help OH with general anixety disorder????

[PelEryl]

Not sure where to start for this.
Up until October been with DH for 10 years, for the past 7 years I've known something hasn't been right, I knew he wasn't being an arse for the sake of it, but he wouldn't go docs, said it was a food intolerance, then it was IBS, then it was stress. 5 years ago, DS was born, and within 3 months I knew I couldn't be a SAHM, I actually knew this before ever having kids, but said id give it a go, he wanted kids more than I. So anyway, after 3 months, I then just took DS on sittings with me (I had run my own business past 18months before having him, and I was able to take him with me). This meant DH could focus more on his PHD, he got into his own routines. A year before, I would have had to give up business, he asked me to give it up as he never saw little one (true enough, we used to go around looking after other peoples smallholdings all over wales). So I did, and I got two indoor jobs, I did tho begin to hate him, for making me give up the business (it was a do this or that's it). Luckily he saw how unhappy I was, and let me start it back up. During that year, he was on his final year where there is no funding, I think this maybe where it all started to get worse for him. He has been brought up to think the man should be the main earner, to look after the family etc (this only works if the wife is happy to be looked after, I'm certainly not one of them).
So that year goes by, DS starts school PT in the following April, so in the December before I get a local job, traveling 30mins by car, giving DH and DS a lift to nursery and work. At first, DH cant go on bus, then he cant go in the car, he starts having the shakes, sweats, dashing to loo, racing heart. Yet he still don't go to docs. He cant come in car at all, and we lived rurally, so misses out on family stuff, DS asks why daddy cant come, then he starts to expect daddy not to come, I can see DH isn't being an arse but everyone saying he is, being lazy, missing work cos he cant get up, he still wont go to docs. I feel like his career, so no sex, no kisses, rarely hugs happen. He feels he cant have sex with me in case he don't do a good job, I will feel disappointed in him. I feel he cant trust me. April 2014, I go to Oz for 2 weeks, my sister paid for my ticket. DH looks after DS, I come back, he confides in me, his thoughts, I tell him he must go to docs. He finally goes, he gets put on citropram 20mg, and is diagnosed with GAD.
He has 3 months off work, where I'm caring for him, I don't get anything back, I'm looking after DS and him, I've basically had enough. Then I get the career break I was hoping for, except its 3 hours away, but I go for the job, just to get away, to be away from the pressure, of looking after 2 boys. We go off on a family holiday to Oz, he has to take diazpan to go in any car, but he does get there and we do have a good time, month back in, and I'm away mon-Fri, see son on weekends, but I'm so tired of doing everything, was doing finances, bills, caring for 2, I feel like I have no.wife love left for my DH, all I see is a patient, everything is lost, I don't know how to deal with GAD.. I had PND in first year, so learnt how to cope, but he cant seem to do that, I just keep getting frustrated. There is a guy down south where I was staying, single, and seems up for sex, so I decide to leave my DH. I'm numb, i have no actual feelings for anyone. But I know DH is low, I use his weakness to get out, I feel terrible for being a b**ch, he doesn't fight for me, he lets me go.
The last 6 months have been terrible, I thought they were bad before, but no this is worse. I have the job I wanted, I live in a nice house in a lovely location. But, I've lost my soul mate, I see that now, now I'm detached.
So how do I go about repairing it all, how do I learn to cope and start supporting him? Plus, now I am detached, I can see him how I used to, why I fell in love with him. I don't know if I'm in love right now, but he is nice looking, bit frail, looking worn. But the past 6 months he has done everything I wanted him to do when I was around, just share some of the work load. He is main carer of our DS.
I've been reading the other threads, and the ones with it, sound like OH, and you still have your OH standing by your side, whilst I fled, I ran away, I wasn't so brave, or strong.

[PelEryl]

If you have any questions please ask.
I think stress related illness might be in OH genes, as his dad had a nervous breakdown when OH was 15, they asked him to work more hours to help pay for food, I think he was put under a lot of pressure then. I'm concerned our DS might be prone, so want to start learning.