Anyone else regret having kids?

[Ohgodwhy]

Have name changed. I feel terrible writing this. Can't talk to anyone in real life through fear of being judged.
I was 17 when I got pregnant. I considered abortion but hated the idea, was convinced it'd haunt me forever and I'd always remember dates and would be wracked with guilt. So I went ahead with the pregnancy and was happy and excited. So by 18 I had moved in with my partner and had baby. All was good for a few years, although it was tough - But I had the energy and was young and felt like I had rest of my life still ahead of me. Didn't think I was missing out on anything.
I'm 28 now, my dc is 10. Partner and I separated few years ago (mutual, amicable) and we share custody 50/50. Only now am I really regretting my choice. I never got to go away to uni, haven't travelled anywhere, been to any gigs. I lost all my friends as they went away to uni when I was about to give birth.
I'm with a new partner how and he is keen to have our own children but I feel suffocated and panicky when I think of the idea of a baby again. I've never had my "own" life. Don't get me wrong I love my dc to bits, he has everything he needs and a loving family.
When he was younger I never really wondered what if, but I have thought it a lot recently. If I had terminated it would have been heartbreaking but I know now that I would have got over it and realised it was the right thing. Gone to uni, got a proper career. Travelled, maintained friendships. Settled down later with the right person and had children at about the age I am at now.
I feel so guilty having these feelings

[MrsFlorrick]

You're looking at this in a "grass is greener" way.

I went to uni traveled, lived and worked in different countries, had a career etc. then got married at had DC in my very late 30s.

I keep in touch with less than a handful of friends from uni. And that is the odd email or text. Hardly ever see any of them now. You tend to drift apart within the first few years of leaving uni. As for school friends. Well it's now so long ago I keep in touch with two, Christmas cards.

And even having DC later on means a few friends drop you when the babies come along.

As for uni. You can still go now. No reason not to besides you're hardly old.
Go part time and just make sure it's a good course worth doing which will repay its worth later on. So many at 18 choose random courses because they sound "fun" and end up saddled with debt and a useless degree (and can't afford to start a family).

You will still be able to travel. Take your DC with you. Granted you won't be able to party your way through Thailand but tbh very few people over the age of 20 would enjoy that anyway.

The world is still yours to take on. You've not missed out on anything yet. You're just doing it the other way around.

Having DC in your late 30s isn't always a picnic. You're derided by some midwives as being "high risk" and a burden on the system because you waited and did all those other things first. And it's absolutely bloody knackering when you're older. I think back to being able to stay up all night at 21 but suffering badly with broken sleep with the DC (they are 5 and 3 and I've not recovered yet).

Besides being out partying when young doesn't lead to happiness. Sure some of it was fun but some of it was filled with heartache and problems (he said/she said drunken misunderstandings etc etc).

Plan ahead. Start looking at those uni courses now and when you're DC is settled at secondary, go and do it.

And if you don't want any more DC, talk to your partner. And if you do, it still shouldn't stop you doing anything in the future.

[MummyBtothree]

Im 36 and three kids later have never had my 'own life' either as you put it. Im mum 24/7 and have been for years as I have no extended family. Dh and I havent had a meal or evening out together for 6 years but I dont care. My life by choice is having children and being a mum. We all have choices.