Anxiety- should I take meds?

[nooriginalideas]

I have made a new account to ask this as I'm scared! I'm on an antenatal thread and I've talked about this there, so if you recognise me please don't say my usual username. Sorry, this is long.

I have always been anxious. Until my baby was born I very rarely left the house without DH, but I've slowly worked my way up to going out a lot now. However I get very anxious at night, and no matter what I do I can't seem to recover from it on my own. When DH is away I sleep on the sofa with my baby in the pram next to me as I'm too scared to be upstairs alone. I've tried once or twice to put them down in their cot but just couldn't do it. Even thinking about it now makes my chest tight. I struggle with my baby being in a different room from me, but when DH is there I make myself do it, although I often don't sleep well. I leave every light on but still struggle to be upstairs for more than a few minutes after dark, sometimes even when DH is downstairs.

It's not something that has happened since she was born, before having her when DH was away I would watch comedies until 4-5am and then sleep once the sun started to come up. In our last house I was scared everywhere at night, here I feel a bit safer in the living room. Even when I was still living at home I hated being alone after dark. There is no reason for it. I've had a boring and sheltered life! I am a massive worrier, and always assume people hate me. Even my BIL and SIL who I get along with really well, but whenever I haven't seen them for a while I get really shy and scared around them again. The same with my own cousins.

I've been coping ok on my own, but now my baby is getting older I know that they will start to notice, and now they're getting into a routine I don't want to ruin it by sleeping downstairs, so I know I have to do something about it. I'm scared that if I ask for help I'll be seen as a bad mum. I'm scared about taking anti-depressants because they completely changed the personality of someone I know, and she left her husband and children. I am also a bit scared of asking for help, I feel like it's something I should be able to sort out on my own. But I just can't.

I would really appreciate any advice.

[dragonfly007]

Please ask for help, get meds and don't suffer alone

[wfrances]

its a personal choice, i dont but lots do.
one of my anxiety symptoms is paranoia of medicine and food/drink so its harder for me.
theres no harm in trying if they dont agree with you- stop taking them.
what have you got to lose?
i had a very bad reaction to seroxat -went manic
and needed tranquilizing (which might be the reason im so scared of them)
the gp might thinks talking therapy might be better?
theres usually a wait , but could you go private ?

[wfrances]

posted too soon
im sure the ads didnt make your friend leave her family, it was probably an unhappy situation for her before she started to take them.

i told my psychiatrist the same thing"theyll change my personality"
and he said my anxiety has changed my personality already - so look at it as changing it back.

[nooriginalideas]

Thank you both for replying.

I have thought the same, that it probably wasn't the medication, but everyone talks about how lovely she was before. Her young child called her two names as she seemed to be two different people before and after. But I've not known of anyone else which makes me doubt.

DH mentioned it to a Dr before and he said he could prescribe me something if I wanted. I'm worried another doctor might make me feel silly. I rang the surgery but i'll have to ring tomorrow or wednesday to book a same day appointment. If I can't get one then it might be a while before I have a babysitter again.

We're saving for a house deposit, so have avaliable funds for private, but would rather not spend them!

[nooriginalideas]

I went to the Doctor, it was really hard to talk about it all. He told me to google talk2gether. I feel a little bit dismissed and not sure how I'm going to handle DH going away in two weeks.

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

I've been taking Sertraline for anxiety for 2 months now and I am delighted with the improvement in the way I feel. I was nervous about starting them, but I'm glad I did.
Please don't suffer.

[ArabellaStrange]

Rather than anti depressants, if you are worried about taking them, what about something like beta-blockers/sleeping pills to help you manage your anxiety when your dp is away?
It won't help you deal with the problem long term but it will get you through the period where your dp is away and then in the longer term you can investigate talking therapies/mindfulness?

[ArabellaStrange]

And go and talk to a different doctor!

[nooriginalideas]

Thank you for replying,
I couldn't see the doctor I saw before, the one I saw basically said that he doesn't like to prescribe medication for anxiety, and the website he gave me should help. I said that DH was going away at the start of March and I don't know how I'll cope. He said that the website does local courses and hopefully I can get on one before then. I'm not sure I can, as I have no one who can look after my baby closer than 3 hours away. Not sure what to do now.

[Haggisfish]

I would suggest it is tosh that ad changed a personality to such an extent-much more likely to be ad used as an excuse by family to explain breakdown of marriage, or that ad didn't actually treat her illness, or that she recovered sufficiently to escape the situation that was making her depressed. Anti anxiety meds can help massively-I know at least five people who take/have taken them and they have helped in all cases. One person had to change to a different type as the first one didn't agree with them. Please do try meds.

[Haggisfish]

See a different gp again.

[ScottishDiblet]

Yes! You really shouldn't have to suffer with this. I have a history of anxiety and had to take medication through pregnancy and massively up the dose after my dd's birth because I had a seriously bad episode. Meds changed my life! I am the happiest most resilient person now! Good luck and don't sufger in silence. Things can be so much better. Xx

[nooriginalideas]

X-posted. I might try and go back to the previous doctor tomorrow.

[hairypaws]

You sound very much like me before meds. I reached breaking point with my anxiety and paranoia (also believed everyone hated me and I felt completely worthless). I started citalopram and was on it for about 1 1/2 years.mi was off it for about a year and gradually felt my symptoms returning. Thankfully I recognised all the signs and went back to my GP. I've been back on it for just over a year and have no intention of stopping any time soon.

There are so many different meds out there and if one doesn't suit there are plenty others to try. I have also had CBT, hypnosis and counselling to try to help anxiety but only the meds have worked.

You should go and at least discuss it all with your GP as a first step.

[nooriginalideas]

That does sound like how I feel hairypaws. I'll try and get an appointment with the other Dr tomorrow.

[nooriginalideas]

Really worried about going back to the doctors, won't they just be annoyed at me for wasting 2 appointments?

[Haggisfish]

Not if they are half decent gp, no. It takes, on average, SIX visits to gp for people to reveal mental health concerns so actually, you are saving them money! I'd write down what you have here-I often found writing a concise list and handing it over was better than me snivelling and trying to sob out what was wrong.

[Ennn]

I googled talk2gether and it looks like it's your local provider of psychological therapies under the IAPT programme, which is paid for by the NHS and accessed via self-referral - so it may be worth looking at and isn't completely a fob-off. But definitely go back to talk to the other GP, you're not wasting anyone's time.

[nooriginalideas]

I will write a list, thank you.

I am going to look into talk2gether, if it wasn't for DH going away in 2 weeks I would be happy to only do that, but my baby is a terrible sleeper and only just getting into a routine, i dont want to mess it up by having to sleep downstairs with them in the pram again. Thank you for the reassurance

[nooriginalideas]

Just had a phone consultation with the first doctor, he's prescribed propranolol for now and said to come back and he'd prescribe Antidepressants if I don't feel better after a week. I'm feeling quite relived, thank you all so much for encouraging me to go back.

[hairypaws]

I started off on propranolol too and they definitely did help for a bit. What I would say is that don't use on take as required basis, they really work best if you use them regularly, every day. Did your gp prescribe them to take as needed or for eg 3 times a day?

[Haggisfish]

Hahahaha-yes and Valium isn't addictive at all!! Op don't take Valium long term and I've reported the above post.