Do you find it hard to accept that you are unwell and suffering with a mental illness?

[Snog]

I find it hard to accept.

[ourglass]

Yes I do, because I hide it very very very well so most people would be very surprised. I'm an expert at sweeping it under the carpet.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

I feel weak because of my illness, I feel abnormal.

I do find it hard to accept.

My eyes are fucked, my knees are fucked ( arthritis) I suffer with my ears and now my MH is fucked.

I'm just awaiting for the next thing to effect my heath.

I'm sick of taking tablets to exist.

[Snog]

I think if I could accept my illness it would be better for my health. Do you feel that way?

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

I think until we accept that we are unwell then it can't get better.

[EmpressOfJurisfiction]

It was a huge relief to find out I was actually ill, because then it meant I could do something about getting better.

[NanaNina]

Yes I'm sick of mental illness too - has been life changing for me. Suffer from depression on an intermittent basis but it can be severe and I never know when the bad days are coming nor how bad they will be or how long they will last.........I'm a grandmother so not a young mom like so many of you on the MH threads, and I just don't know how you manage with small children and a MH issue - I suppose because you have to - but I salute you! I can't cope with the cats when my bad days come.

I don't like making arrangements because I never know if I can make it, and mostly I hate waking up and feeling shite. I am a bit phobic about anyone seeing me when I am in a state (and I definitely can't hide it) especially my grandchildren, and so mostly stay out of the way until the black cloud lifts.

Tried a couple of different ADs but have been struggling for almost 5 years since a major episode in 2010 when I was hospitalised for 3 months, but I also feel a bit guilty about moaning because I know that many people start to suffer in their teens and young adulthood and there are far more serious mental health issues than depression, but thanks for starting this thread snog - be interested in more replies.

[clovetail]

For me it's been part of my identity since my teenage years - so I accept it now and actually don't even know what I'd be like if I was mentally well. It must be harder if you were an adult when you became ill and can remember a life when things were basically normal.

But just because I can accept my illness it doesn't mean I can get better! I have recurrent depression (which is not to be underestimated - it's a very severe mh issue!), personality disorder, and other diagnoses and the outlook isn't positive (I have been awarded DLA for an indefinite period and my psych thinks I'll stay in the CMHT system long term). But it does mean for me that I am comfortable with accepting help, I'm not embarrassed by ticking 'disability' boxes or using my free bus pass for example. I do know people who try to hide their mental illness and suffer more because they cover it up so well that they refuse to accept support, or are turned down for it because there's no evidence for their problems.

[lemisscared]

i struggle to see it as an illness to. but it is. in one way i think. ok thats good - illness can be treated. if im not ill then im fucked.

[Ennn]

I accept that I am who I am and that I struggle with the things I struggle with. But I also have difficulty believing that I have an "illness".

[wfrances]

yes.
its doubtful i will ever recover.
ive had it so long ,that its now part of my personality.
new dr thinks trauma treatment should make my life more bearable.

[Thisishowyoudisappear]

Yes, I struggle to accept it because I want to be better and I don't want to define myself by my illness. But actually my life has been and is significantly affected.

[creamhearts]

Yes :( I come off my meds and it all goes tits up.

[NanaNina]

Oh NO creamhearts you were doing so well - did you take yourself off the meds - hope you can get back on them and back on an even keel.

[velourvoyageur]

warm thoughts going out to everyone struggling at the moment xx

I don't find it hard to accept, no, not now at least. I was brought up by parents with a very tolerant and yes, accepting attitude towards mental illness because so many in my family are affected, and affected severely. I hesitated for a long time before really acknowledging how I was feeling however because I didn't want to minimise their experiences by comparing them to mine....however eventually I just had to be open minded about the fact that what I had inherited from my family was coming to the surface. At least I'm sort of "standing on the shoulders of giants", so to speak, my relatives just get it- it's not like they want to brush it under the carpet or don't have the first clue like some people have to put up with.

When I first consciously noticed the signs I was 15 and I was really, really scared even though I was constantly telling myself that it must be a phase. It took me quite a while to stop being scared.

[DiaryOfAWimpyMum]

It's the knowing I cannot just stop my medication that gets me, I just wish I wasn't unwell in the first place. I just take it day by day atm.

[Carbonel]

Incredibly hard; even with tons of evidence and wonderful doctors and nurses explaining and accepting and helping I cannot accept that I am 'ill'. I just push myself harder in the safest sphere (currently work) until something breaks.

[brightandbreezyNot]

Have been struggling for 9 years and still find it impossible to tell family how I feel. When down that permanent smiley face is stuck on, just to disguise the low, sad me. Not working at the mo and feel as though I am a failure and just an being on the planet with no purpose.

[moolady1977]

I know im unwell and I'm struggling but i cant/wont go to the gps as it is just something else the man i married will use against me so i cant see our kids

[Snog]

I can accept that I am experiencing mental distress but not that it's an illness.

[Snog]

My good wishes to all those who have replied who are experiencing pain and difficult times xx

[Phoenixfrights]

I don't have any difficulty accepting my depression, had it since I was 20 ish, probably before. My whole family is riddled with it and I grew up with it, so that is probably why I'm now not too bothered. And I am lucky because as long as I stay on the meds I am very high functioning. It's more difficult for those whose symptoms are not well-controlled or who are the lone family member.

Usually when I'm 100% I am a little bit grateful for my condition because for me itmakes me very very grateful for the good times. I try to live life to the full. But I know I'm very lucky in

[NanaNina]

I don't think it matters what we call it - an illness, or emotional/psychological distress, whatever. It's how we feel that is important. What does frustrate me is when people use depression to describe everyday ordinary events "Oh this weather is so depressing......" etc etc. There should be a different term because unenlightened people think depression is just feeling a bit low, and yes sometimes it is, but often it is much more severe.

I always struggle to understand the many posters who talk of "painting on a smile" so as to hide it from everyone, and I just can't do this - I really can't. My DP knows just by looking at my face how I feel - and I recall in hospital they told me I was very "facially depressed" - I honestly wish I could hide it and I've tried but it just makes me feel worse.

No one in my family has ever suffered from MH issues so I'm a bit out on a limb although my family and friends do their best to understand.

[GlitzAndGigglesx]

Yes. I suffered with pnd with my dd and despite this second pregnancy being planned I'm feeling very overwhelmed and sad. I have a huge fear of losing the babies or them being stillborn. I know I shouldn't think like this but I struggle not to. I'm trying to convince myself I'm well but I'm not. I'm not sure if it's depression but something ain't right up there. I confided in my sis when I had pnd but she throws it back in my face if we have an argument and makes me feel even worse. Scared to go back to gp incase ss get involved. I have an antenatal session this month so will likely discuss it with mw

[Loveisashadow]

I found my diagnos (es) very hard to accept. When I first had depression, I found that very challenging and wouldn't get help for a long time. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and "voices and visions", but argued and argued that I didn't have it. I find it hard to accept because I do things I regret later, in the heat of the moment, and when I'm hearing voices, my entire personality changes. I'm really hard to deal with because I won't listen to reason eithier. I have a mixed diagnosis of bpd, depression, post traumatic stress disorder and fibromaylgia.

In the past six months, I've been diagnosed with all of these things and gone from no medication to lots (painkillers, anti depressants and anti psychotics). I find the changes in my life and my self very, very hard to accept and feel a deep sense of shame from everything I do when I'm not well. I hate having it.

I agree with you Nana, depression can get very very bad and it's often miss represented. I think the miss representations sometimes influence how I think about my illness', especially the personality disorder which I still don't really accept fully.