depression and anxiety.

[ARGHtoAHHH]

I've been awake since 4.30 this morning. I'm tired. Mentally and physically. But I know in my head that I will struggle to sleep tonight. I'm dreading lying in bed.

Was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last week. Counselling starts on 6 Jan. I don't know how I'm going to cope until then.

I've got so much to do and zero motivation to do it.

Dp isn't very emotionally available, never has been. He's just not an emotional person and can't give me the support I crave. He does all the practical stuff but can't seem to hold me. He has just come out of a depression too.

There isn't even anything wrong, per se. So I do not know why I feel like this and feel guilty for feeling so down. I have a beautiful toddler who is the light of my life. He has seen me crying too much lately. He tries to comfort me and it breaks my heart.

Can anyone give me any practical tips on how I can get some sleep tonight?

I have so much wrapping to do and no energy to do it. I usually take such pleasure in doing it but this year I am dreading it. I can't even be arsed to get a shower.

I just feel hollow.

[FairlyUseless]

First of all, you're not alone. And we'll done for seeking help, Jan 6 will be here in no time.

In the meantime, you just have to keep going. I'm in a similar situation; everyone is happy and Christmassy and I feel shit. And guilty for feeling it so I feel shittier. But I must keep going because if I stop I'll never get back on track.

At the moment I use mindfulness to keep things focused and grounded and to take pleasure in the small things. The book Sane New World by Ruby Wax has made a huge difference. If you can find a copy get one tomorrow and read and reread it until your counselling session arrives.

Good luck

[ARGHtoAHHH]

Thank you, fairly, for replying.

I've forced myself from the sofa to get the presents out of the cupboard.

[MrsPepperMintonCandyCane]

Argh I can't remember if I have suggested this to you on another thread or another poster, so my apologies if I'm repeating myself.

//Www.getselfhelp.co.uk

A website given to me by my counsellor. There are MP3s on there and materials to help with depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed in August and it's been very helpful. If you ever want a chat please feel free to ask anything.

[ARGHtoAHHH]

Thanks Mrs pepper, I haven't gone on that link before so I will check it out now.

Wrapping is done. I got zero enjoyment from it. I usually sit down with a glass of wine and Christmas tunes but this year I had the depressing news on in there background. I can't believe I can't get excited for our first proper Christmas with our toddler who will know what's going on, he knows about father Christmas now. I feel so sad that I'm not enjoying it.

Anyway thank you for replying to me and sharing

[CaulkheadUpNorth]

It will get better.
It will.

I am proof of that, having posted on here following. Failed suicide attempt on October.

Each day go for a walk. Get fresh air. Eat warm food and drink. Think about things you can tolerate, even if you don't enjoy them. Let others know you need support at the moment. Let them offer it physically if not emotionally. Speak to the samaritians. Talk to people on here.

It will get better.

[ARGHtoAHHH]

Thanks CaulkheadUpNorth

I do believe it will get better. I keep telling myself it will. But something is also telling me not to kid myself, my life will not change and I'll always feel this hopeless.

I'm going to try and sleep now. I'm so bloody tired.

[ARGHtoAHHH]

Good morning,

I just wanted to thank the 3 of you for replying to me last night. I managed to get about 6 hours sleep which is good...however I woke with anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I managed to make it into work though so this is also good.

I'm really sorry I didn't properly reply last night. I was just not in the right place. I have re-read your replies this morning.

Caulk - I am so sorry to read that you felt so utterly hopeless that you attempted to take your own life. But I am also inspired by you...that you managed to get through it and onto the other side must have taken such strength, resilience and determination. A huge well done to you and I will remember you when I am feeling at my lowest.

Fairly - I had downloaded a mindfulness app (which I promptly forgot about until you mentioned it up-thread). I listened to it last night and it really helped me to drift off to sleep. This morning when I woke and felt anxious I did the breathing exercises and that also helped. Will look out for ruby Wax's book - thanks for the recommendation.

MrsPepper - I had a look at the link last night. I couldn't see it properly on my phone (its quite a 'busy' site and I found it difficult to navigate on my small screen) and so will revisit it today while I am on a PC.

On the train to work I stupidly picked up the metro and read the horrendous news of the tragedy in Glasgow. I cried and felt just so so sad. Life is so unfair, these poor people have to deal with this awful event, and I really have nothing to be ungrateful for.

I really should stay away from the news.

[FairlyUseless]

Yes, it's awful news. But what is happening in the world shouldn't belittle how you are feeling.

I'm pleased you're going to look up the book, I use it everyday. It takes time and effort to use mindfulness to the point where it can help you, and I have given up/can't be bothered several times, but hang on in there. PM me if you need.

[littleone88]

Hi sorry you are not feeling right, I too am going thru a diffcult time, on lots of different meds and seeing counsellor, all this has been bought on by my daughter who is struggling with anxiety due to not liking school, this is my third episode of D & A and i know i will get thru this, have you asked docs about meds they started me on a new one which was for anxiety and have to say they are working ok so far

[Wolfiefan]

You could be describing me a few months ago. It was awful.
I have had counselling and taken anti depressants. I can't tell you how much better I feel. You can get back to you. Next year you will enjoy that wrapping again! x