Fed up of anxiety - and what effect I'm having on my children; is Sertraline (sp?) an answer

[theladybirdheard]

Went to GP back in summer, prescribed beta blockers and on a anxiety management course. Got better - and then have got worse again. Feel utterly depressed that I am turning DCs into little mini anxiety kids (one of the things I get really anxious about is their safety and everyone always says to me that my kids are really quiet). I KNOW I shouldnt be worried about them all the time and I hate it; also hate being irritable. Feel complete failure. Don't know whether to go back and ask for setraline but worried about side effects, being on ADs, and needing to change mindset rather than drugs. I hate the fact I could be setting them up to be like me. What should I do?

[ALifeHalfLived]

Sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I don't feel qualified to offer any advice other than to share what I have done/am doing being in a similar situation to you. If nothing else, I hope it's some comfort to know you're not the only one .

I'm waiting to start a course of cbt as I believe that can be very effective with anxiety. Do you know whether your anxiety management course was essentially cbt? I also have the book 'CBT for Dummies' which I have found really helpful in the meantime (it's been a long wait so far!)

I'm determined to get better and not let my condition beat me so I am throwing everything at it to be honest! I have started the Couch 2 5k running initiative and have found that a great help in burning off excess adrenaline (not sure how scientifically sound that is, but it's how it feels ). I am also trying to eat mood enhancing foods where I can - there's quite a lot of stuff on the Internet about this. I'm also trying to get the best sleep I can and sometimes listen to relaxation pod-casts.

The CBT for Dummies book is good for showing you how to challenge the spiral of negative thoughts. I have stopped watching the news recently and will listen to positive/uplifting songs instead to help this also. Something else I do is try and have a bit of fun/a giggle with my child wherever I can - even if it's just flying him upstairs as an aeroplane rather than walking up usual style. Even though I'm faking the happiness and fun, if it's enthusiastic enough, he doesn't notice and I can often feel more positive afterwards anyway so win win . I can do this in situations that make me anxious too, the ott fun and enthusiasm can often drown out my fearful thoughts.

With regards medication, I wouldn't know what to suggest sorry. If the cbt doesn't work for me I shall have to go down that route myself, but I'll cross that bridge as and when...

I wish you all the best.

[joanofarchitrave]

Medication can certainly be incredibly helpful - have you had sertraline before, or did your GP suggest it?

[EskiDecaff]

For me once I started taking medication I felt better within weeks, once everything settled down i felt ready to look at cbt or counselling. It was too early before.

You deserve control back

[theladybirdheard]

My GP suggested it, but I wanted to see whether the beta blockers/course helped first. I've never taken any medication before and was nervous of doing so. She gave me some valium for emergencies and the few times I've taken it, it made a big difference - just not having those intense feelings of worry and sadness, so I wondered if I was being stupid shying away from medication.
TBH I'm not sure the beta blockers do much. The anxiety course (CBT based I think) is 6 months and is good about challenging thinking but is obviously a long process. I just have got to the stage that I am fed up of how I feel, and that actually it's not normal, this continual worry and inability to just enjoy the present, and just how this affects everyone around me. But I worry about being on something like sertraline, and what the side effects would be?
I'm just fed up of being me I reckon
Sorry - bit of splurge, not sure it makes sense.

[theladybirdheard]

meanwhile I just see all the stuff on FB and hear at school gates all the wonderful things parents have been doing with their children at half term and I want to cry all over again. Am such a shit parent, was working half the week and then managed to take them to a party and do pumpkins with them (with sister in law's help).another friend sent me her son's two page essay (he's 5) at 11pm last night and I can't help feeling such a complete failure. If i was a happy mum who could make playing a jigsaw fun then I wouldn't care but I'm not.
Sorry. Bad bad morning.