That's it really. Am really suffering and am now barely functioning at work.
Background of serious depressive episodes with years respite in between. Marriage broke down four years ago. A relief at the time but now realising I threw it away too easily. Or maybe this is hindsight.
Father died two years ago and I shouldered all responsibility for arrangements and now also ailing mother with whom I have difficult relationship. No other family.
None of this properly mourned.
I have been numbing myself with food, alcohol and OTC meds. Isolating from friends, alienating others with my behaviour and no energy for hobbies. In a relationship which is not really right . I am being very unkind as I simply don't want to talk.
Was going to name change but can't work out how.
Had this sensation of walking forever down a dark wet corridor.
A dear friend of mine is moving away and I will miss her sorely.
I wish I was dead. So many tears trapped inside. I can't keep pretending much longer. I am so tired.
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Mental health
I need comfort
4 replies
Wordsaremything · 23/10/2014 20:31
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