Wondering how I am still alive

[Grapeeatingweirdo]

Very dramatic title but I am genuinely struggling and wish I knew what to do to feel better.

History is that I had anorexia and depression until I met my current boyfriend at the age of 24. I'm 29 now and have suffered on and off but been loads better on the whole

The last year though has tested me though, almost beyond my limits.

In December, my boyfriend broke up with me on the day before Christmas Eve and we ended up sorting it out on Christmas Day. It was awful though and all done via text while I was on the way to my parents for Christmas. I felt like my whole life was over and Christmas was ruined.

Then on New Years Eve, my boyfriend's daughter came to live with us full time. And then my sister left hey husband and children and borrowed my sofa full time.

As well as this, I had a good male friend who took an interest in my sister and would take her side over me and stuff.

Now, all this is over. My sister and I aren't talking. She's gone back to her husband and children. My friend is back on the scene but still talks about her more than I would like.

To top this off, I started a new job in May and it's almost too much to handle. They don't seem to have cottoned onto the whole work/life balance thing.

I have got to the stage of Googling ways to kill myself. Help me!

[Grapeeatingweirdo]

Should probably explain about the sister stuff more. We had an awesome relationship before she left her husband. She went mad though after she did leave, sleeping around (and with some of my friends) and generally acting like no one else mattered.

The reason we are not talking is because I got very fed up with her monopolising my friends and taking over my hard won life. She then decided to turn an innocent lunchtime into me being nasty to her son. I wasn't and would never be, it was a misunderstanding. But she has used it to justify being horrible and posted about me on Facebook