Any other bulimics?

[Ninkie]

I've got depression (on citalopram 40 mg), but also bulimia. Seems like my way to cope with things. I've ramped it up to 3 times a day now. Feel like I want to eat all the time, but guilty if I do. I'm a SAHM, am normal weight (higher side of), do not exercise atm (absolutely no motivation or energy). Feel sad when DS (4) asks "why did you eat all the ice cream last night, mummy?". Why, indeed..

Anyone else out there?

[MaggieDoesntGoHereAnymore]

I've had bulimia for nearly five years now but am overweight which makes it very hard to be taken seriously sometimes.

I keep telling myself I will stop binging on ridiculous amounts of food and making myself throw up afterwards but that vow doesn't last very long.

[Ninkie]

Hi Maggie! I've been bulimic for 12 years, on and off. I have been overweight for most of that period, so know how you feel. Only qiote recently lost that last stone, which might have made me worse, as I fear it will come back Have been anorexic in the past, as well, so now feel like a failure even at having an ED.

We are kind of short on money atm, so feel even worse about scoffing stuff. Even though I don't buy triggering foods, I have now found that I can binge on most normal thing like toast, plain yog, or even fruit. Sometimes resort to making huge batches of pancakes for a cheap binge

[Elsieparoubek]

Could I maybe join? I'm not a 'proper' bulimic as not binging or purging at the moment (I'm pregnant) but think about it quite a lot and am struggling with not giving into cravings.

I haven't been fully bulimic since a teen but its never fully gone away either - I will stop for several years at a time but it always comes back in times of severe stress.

I hate the fact I seem to need it so much.

[Ninkie]

Hi Elsie! I understand what you're talking about. Have had months of not bongin/purging, but then it starts again. I think it's so hard to break the habit once you have "learned" that you can fulfill a void with food, but then remove the guilt by purging.

Only b/p a couple of times during my pregnancy. It was a glorious time of freedom, as I had a "licence" to eat. But also gained 3stone, as the result..

[Ninkie]

Bonging? Bingeing, that should be..

[Elsieparoubek]

I also gained 3+ stone last pregnancy, it was the first time since late childhood I had felt OK about my body and just didn't stress about what I ate... But it took ages to lose after so I'm trying to be more careful this time. Whilst also trying not to obsess too much!

[Ninkie]

Oh, yes, if I ever have another DC, I'm going to be more careful while pregnant, although it was the nausea that drove the need for food for the most part..

Made pancakes for DS. He nibbled at one. After he went to bed just now, I ate the rest of his, the other 4 with chocolate sauce, as well as 4 slices of toast with half an inch of butter each, plain yoghurt with sugar and cereal. And 2 bags of mini cheddars. All that down the bog.

It's so tiring.. I feel so so tired. I think some days I'd be better off just taking a sleeping pill when DS goes to bed and go to bed really early. Avoid all this shit.

[mumster79]

Here too.

I had it under control for two whole years, but fell off the wagon about six months ago. It's all led by depression for me.
Today, I spoke to the CBT therapist that I had stopped going to as it didn't seem worthwhile / waste of money etc. She's got me on the recovery plan again, so today was day one. So far so good. I know I can do it, it's just that it has to be forever rather than just for a while. I too have dc's and I don't want them to notice.

Furthermore, I want my children to LOVE their bodies and themselves.

I was on AD's for a about a year and would rather not go back to them. However, this is a miserable existence and it must be infuriating for my DH.

Laxatives were my weapon of choice...

Shall we try a support thread on this?