I'm struggling..

[teaaddict]

I may just be having a bad day today (or every Sunday) but I don't really want to be with my children (2 boys - aged 4 and 1). It's as if I don't really know how to play with them and spend "quality" time with them. People say you should enjoy your children while they are young, but I'm afraid I just don't know how. It seems that they are quite needy and all I want to do is hide away from them. If I sit in the playroom with them, that's all I do - sit. I struggle to engage with them and I very quickly get bored.
Then, of course, I feel guilty for for feeling like that and beat myself up about it!
I think I need someone to tell me that I'm not alone and that this does happen to other people...

[trinityrhino]

happens to me alot, are you ad's?
Do you get a break from the kids to be on your own?
have you told anyone else howyou feel, doctor?, HV?

[chocybickie]

yes it happens to me too.
theres a reason why parenting boards are so popular.
i struggle to play with my children which is why i had two.
what i do enjoy is going out with them to the park and joining in. when we are at home they understand that mummy's patience when playing 'cars' is fairly limited.
lets face it kids games are incredibly dull. i got stuck playing hide and seek for an hour yesterday. he hid in the same place every time.

[mellowma]

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[teaaddict]

Sorry - don't know what ad's means (thickie here).
I do get a break - 3 times a week when I drop them at childminders and go to work. Still doesn't help much on the days when I am at home.
I don't get out to the park much - it always feels like such an effort to get everything ready and out the door!

[mellowma]

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[mellowma]

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[divastrop]

i used to be like that with my older two.actually,i still am,but i think they should entertain themselves by junior school age.
when ds2 was a baby i took him to all these sure start courses and groups and i did learn a bit about interacting with him,though i still find it easier when hes at nursery(hes 3 now).
i think its quite normal to want to hide away from ur kids,especially when they get to the age where they can fight with each other.ive lost count of the times ive told ds+dd1 that if they want to fight can they go and do it where i cant hear them.....
ru in the uk?if so is ur 4 yr old at nursery or due to start school in september?just thought i'd ask

[nearlythree]

It's not easy. I find things I can set up and then leave them to get on with helpful, but then I have two dds who like crafts and stuff - might be different when ds gets bigger! Getting outside is definitely easier. You could try playing music and dancing - my dds will happily listen to Keane so it doesn't have to be CBeebies! Also I find 1 yr olds very tricky as they want to do so much and can't, and there is little you can do jointly with a 1 yr old and a 4 yr old. Think looking for a Sure Start course or similar isa great idea.

[madhouse2]

oh my god i felt as though i could have written that message i am ok with ds 19mths but don't know how to play with dd 5 next wk i posted a while ago about the same thing and am see th docs this wk as i feel i may have pnd (was fine with dd until ds was born)
sundays are the worst for me as we don't really see anyone as its classed as a day for families dh works shifts and isn't off on a sunday
i used to look forward to my days off with dd but now doen't seem to have the same motivation or sounds silly know how to play with her
if you find a magic answer let me know
good luck

[groggymama]

oh teaaddict I've got 2 boys the same age and was going to start a thread on how hard it is to play with them, ds1 begs me to play and just bosses me about, everything he has is bigger and better than mine and drives me nuts, I switch off after a couple of minutes, ds2 is just crawling around aggravating ds1. You're definately not alone here

[nearlythree]

Water was one thing my dds could play with together from a young age. If all else fails, chuck them in the bath!

There is a really good book called Playful Parenting. Look for it on Amazon. Also maybe Steve Biddulph's book Raising Boys might be worth a look?

[teaaddict]

Thank you all for your wonderful messages. This has been my first time using Mumsnet and I'm really impressed with it! I'm also so relieved that its not just me!
I'm feeling a lot more positive now and I'll try looking for that Playful Parenting book - sounds v. useful. ADs seems a bit scary - I'll see how many bad days there are before I go to Drs.
Thank you again
teaaddict

[nearlythree]

Maybe a herbal remedy like Kalms might be worth a try?