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Friend with bipolar diagnosis

(78 Posts)
Chippingnortonset123 Tue 11-Feb-14 14:08:58

I am afraid that she is going down again, based on what she has told me. She has been well for six weeks. It was awful last time and I am dreading a return to that. She is under the recovery team once a fortnight but they only stay ten minutes and do nothing.

NumptyNameChange Fri 21-Feb-14 19:00:08

did you say that one dog was already known to police? can you explain a bit more about that?

livingzuid Fri 21-Feb-14 14:39:38

If the dogs welfare is a concern you may have to contact the rspca who can advise on what to do. They are the only ones aside from the police to be able to enter a property and remove neglected or abused animals, I believe. They will have experience of cases such as this. She may well have them returned once she can demonstrate she is capable of taking care of them again.

The not eating.... it sounds as if things are getting increasingly difficult. The only advice I have is to again try and contact someone like MIND who can give some concrete rl support to you. She really needs to get some long term support and there is only so much you can do. thanks

Chippingnortonset123 Fri 21-Feb-14 13:51:57

Ct is Crisis Team
Rt is Recovery Team
I think that the dogs may become an issue. She refuses to accept outside help with that.
Not eating.

livingzuid Thu 20-Feb-14 21:06:48

Indeed you are being a star. So many people would not go to this effort she is blessed to have you as a friend.

I also though it might be worth trying a charity to see if they could advise you. MIND, Rethink and Bipolar UK spring to mind as obvious points of call but there might be something more local too.

NumptyNameChange Thu 20-Feb-14 20:45:26

you have to stop saying locus though grin

NumptyNameChange Thu 20-Feb-14 20:45:01

you have not been rubbish - you've been ace. this isn't your problem and you are choosing, despite being worn out by it and fed up of being treated shoddily, to still care and want to help.

don't self bash please x

livingzuid Thu 20-Feb-14 20:12:37

It was only through seeing a gp regularly that mine got picked up. Locums just don't cut it. Perhaps worth a call to her surgery to explain the situation and take their advice? Or her daughter to do so as next of kin? Don't know how that works but numpty is spot on.

Chippingnortonset123 Thu 20-Feb-14 17:35:19

She just sees various locus.

Chippingnortonset123 Thu 20-Feb-14 17:33:24

Taken that on board, Numpty. Thanks.
I have been rubbish this week.

NumptyNameChange Wed 19-Feb-14 11:19:56

it also means that one person knows her well and knows ALL of her conditions and has that ah, hang on, how will that effect her bipolar/lack of thyroid/whatever's to come, type joined up thinking. it is also someone who can influence what pscyh she gets to see, whether her notes are accurate, whether their assessment matches her own experience of the patient etc.

if you can find a GP and help her to build up trust with that one person it could make all the difference and could help you in terms of knowing who to get in touch with in a crisis.

NumptyNameChange Wed 19-Feb-14 11:17:22

this is the trouble chipping.

hard enough to deal with that kind of lack of professionalism and humiliating treatment when you are well let alone when ill and vulnerable.

i have thought more about this and i think the very, very best thing you could do is try and get her a decent GP who she will see regularly and who will get to know her over years. the support of a decent GP is unestimable imo.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 17:10:32

Just re read the whole thread. I have met the ct once and found them extremely offensive and rude to friend and to me. If they worked for me I would dismiss them. And I don't know how rude they would have been if I had not been there. It went against all of my training.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:31:13

How could we get her referred to the Assertive (?) Outreach Team rather than the Recovery Team or the Crisis Team?

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:20:19

This down is from 10 Feb. very sudden.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:17:21

When she is well she forgets what she was like when she was down and she also forgets what various people have done for her. These people, who have helped and shopped and walked the dogs get miffed. When she is unwell she expects to be waited on and no one is left.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:13:19

I did think about this outcome when she was well. I asked what we could do if she went down again. She dismissed the possibility or I didn't ask hard enough. She is a totally different person.

livingzuid Tue 18-Feb-14 13:19:51

Brilliant suggestions by numpty. The right medication works, but it is all part of the wider self-management picture. If the medication is not working then you being able to have a rational conversation with her is pretty low.

You could be a great advocate. DH goes with me to every appointment and whilst my team are fantastic he does remember to ask questions and push for certain things that I sometimes feel unable to do.

This is such a sad story and she is so lucky to have you even if you may not feel appreciated right now.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 13:06:06

Taken that on board, Numpty. I will ofer to be at the rt appointment tomorrow. I have been there before at a psychiatrist appointment, although I kept quiet. Have also been there at a ct appointment and they were mindnumbingly rude and offensive.

NumptyNameChange Tue 18-Feb-14 13:00:49

even having someone come sit in the waiting room with you can massively help. the anxiety and build up sat waiting there on your own can be awful and just having someone with you on your side can help you deal with the appointments.

NumptyNameChange Tue 18-Feb-14 12:58:56

unfortunately she is probably squarely in the least bothered about demographic known to man. single, female, 'elderly', mentally ill, not making a loud fuss.

i guess you could talk to her and say do you want me to come with you? about these appointments. you can sell it as a positive thing, it IS, that you'll come and stand by her and stick up for her rather than her be in the 'here is the big authority with all the power and here is silly little, mental, old you'. she might want it.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 12:50:32

I have looked into, and have numbers for all agencies in our area. I don't want to be infantilising her. I could call the RC team or the ct myself but I am reluctant to go over her head. I am secretly hoping that the RC visit tomorrow will trigger some action, or that her D calls them. Her D has all the relevant numbers.

Chippingnortonset123 Tue 18-Feb-14 12:43:48

If I were to be an avo ate, wouldn't she need to nominate me? Last time I'd open her post against her will and I felt on shaky ground, even though it all turned out ok.

NumptyNameChange Tue 18-Feb-14 12:37:32

would you feel confident to get involved in her appointments and healthcare? or to look for someone who would? if you tell me whereabouts you live i can ask around and have a google as to what services and support are available and how the mental health services are performing if you like.

NumptyNameChange Tue 18-Feb-14 12:31:11

really i guess then the best bet would be, and it is essential, to find a GP she does warm to or at least not actively distrust and who is willing to take time to build up a decent therapeutic relationship with her and gain that trust and partnership.

without that it's realistically going to be an endless cycle of crisis management.

NumptyNameChange Tue 18-Feb-14 12:30:04

she honestly may not be being racist.

can you imagine how mentally ill females are viewed in some cultures?

i've had the misfortune to come across psychs from those cultures who did not leave their cultural views behind.

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