Advice needed. PTSD, bad idea to ttc?

[stephenthecat]

Hi, I need some opinions please. I have a head v heart & hormones battle going on.

I have been diagnosed as having PTSD after a traumatic birth 16 months ago. My ds is fine and I feel lucky every day that he is perfect. It is causing severe anxiety and low moods. I am receiving counselling finally and despite feeling sceptical that I can be helped, I am willing to try. (Big step for me.)

While this has been going on, my hormones have decided to start raging about having another baby. I've been ignoring it for months now but it's getting harder and harder to ignore. My dh and I had always planned for two and the time feels right for our family to start trying.

My head says no though. Dh's head agrees too, despite backing me with whatever I feel comfortable with and also feeling that the time is right to start trying.

Maybe the counselling will work during the pregnancy? It might be a good thing as I will have something to look forward to and focus on, but what happens after it's born. Square one.

This seems so trivial compared to the rest of the threads here so I apologise if it is in the wrong place but I would like other opinions.

To;dr... Will a new baby make PTSD worse or better?

[nevergoogle]

My first birth experience was dreadful and we very nearly lost our son and were prepared by staff to expect the worse. I also suffered badly with depression afterwards. 9 years on I still have flashbacks triggered by medical interventions ie. cannulas, spinal injections. I have never been diagnosed with PTSD after that but have ongoing problems with depression.

The decision to have a second child was difficult. I was filled with dread at the thought of childbirth again but did really want another child so went ahead with TTC.

Once pregnant I became quite anxious and depressed again. I found that having a debriefing session with the hospital midwives about the first experience helped as did attending ante-natal classes (although did stir up quite a bit of upset again so I would quietly leave the room at times).

The birth of DS2 in a way helped me lay all those worries/fears to rest. A planned c-section that went textbook helped a lot. It was such a different experience with really no comparison.

There was a 2 year 9 month age gap between them.

Not sure i'm being much use and I can't tell you the answer, only share my experience. I guess for me it made it better and helped me to isolate the experience first time for what it was. Just horribly unlucky.