I feel so alone

[Madethebedx]

I've struggled for a while with depression, nearly 15 years in fact (on and off)
I feel it again, I feel angry and upset quite a lot just now. I don't know a serious enough thing to make me feel like this.
Some background info: I live with my partner that I have been with for 3 and half years and we have a 7 and half mnth old baby. Dp has a DC that comes to us EOW and some holidays.

I have struggled badly with the step parenting thing which has caused problems but we have finally gotten into a comfortable arrangement. I have just got a new job which is great and I have a gorgeous little baby that I love with all of my heart, so why am I so sad.
I try to think of all the other less fortunate people to make me realise I shouldn't be feeling like this but it doesn't work I'm just feeling so fed up.

I want to be strong for my baby and my family. DP tries so hard yet sometimes too hard, so much that he feels the need to lie about stupid things so I don't trust him much. I can't leave him as I want our baby to have both of us and tbh I've done the running away thing for so long now and it doesn't work. I'm only happy for so long then something else gets me down so what do I do?

[nerofiend]

I feel alone, madethebedx. I'm a mum of two lovely boys but as the years go by, I've lost touch with a lot of friends and family. Now my life is mainly my DP and my boys on a day to day basis.

I can see where you're coming from. To the outside, life seems just fine, and it seems unfair to be complaining about loneliness when you have a baby and a husband to live with.

In my case, I am perfectly aware that my feelings of loneliness stem from the fact that I feel disconnected on a deeper level with my husband. He's a nice, decent guy, albeit his drinking problem, but not violent or abusive. He works really hard to support our house, and children. I work part time but am not very happy with my job at the moment, and make very little money, which I hate too.

A lot of my friends have been a massive let down lately, but I guess I cannot expect much when I can't give much either, as I'm usually exhausted from childcare, domestic chores and work.

Anyway, just to say I understand how you feel. I hope life will sort itself out somehow, but it takes effort on our side too. All best, OP. Nero xx

[Madethebedx]

Thanks for your reply Nero :) I ended up so busy yesterday I never got down to replying.
Aww I feel for you on the job front. I was in that situation, hated my job and that's why I felt the need to change it, would you consider that? It's just so difficult sometimes eh. I love my partner dearly and like ur dp, mines works hard etc helps me a lot too and tries hard but sometimes I feel it's never enough. Maybe the working and new challenge may sort me out. Sorry to hear you don't like your job. Hope things get better for you too :) xx

[Golddigger]

I have two theories - neither of which may be right.
1.Are you a grass is greener type of person?

1. Might it be a case of, you have been through the mill so to speak, and now your body and mind are trying to relax?

Oh and
3.When did you last have a break?