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Worried about my mum possible breakdown?

(2 Posts)
Greentriangle82 Tue 12-Nov-13 14:03:57

I've become increasingly worried about my mother over the past couple of years. Her behaviours confuse and worry me. It's very hard to pinpoint or explain so I will bulletpoint and see if anybody can advise or recognise these symptoms and behaviours.

Looking 'bewlidered' and lost.

Wearing the same clothes everyday even though she has a full wardrobe

Distinsing herself from family, not visiting or ringing.

Bursting into tears when we do see her.

Compulsions/ obsessions ie flushing toilet numerous times, switching taps on and off a lot, having to read something over and over.

General not looking after herself appearance, diet etc.

I know these all seem fairly obvious signs of mental health issues but when I ask her about why she's acting a certain way she becomes defensive and says she is not.
I've suggested she's mentally ill and that she should speak to the doctor but she refuses. What can I do?
I have suspicions her partner is emotionally and financially abusive, but again she denies this and I don't have solid proof just my gut intstict.again what can I do regarding that?

Thanks in advance for reading and any suggestions welcome I'm really worried about her x

TirAnna Sat 16-Nov-13 21:27:00

If she's denying that she's acting this way then it probably won't help to try and confront her directly, as you've discovered. If you can manage it without her becoming completely closed/defensive then you could try and get mental health into the conversation in a general sense, in that it's nothing to be ashamed of, for example, which might help her feel that she can be more open with you. Keep trying gently to get her to seek medical help, but if she refuses outright then don't push it hard unless you feel she's in immediate danger, as it may make her more reluctant to bring up anything that's bothering her in future. By the sounds of it she's in a situation where she needs people to build her confidence so she can feel that she won't be judged if she tries to seek help of her own accord.

Fwiw I refused to see a doctor for more than a year after I first realised I was depressed, because I thought they'd say there was nothing wrong with me. When I finally did go I was given treatment straight away - medication in my case - and, once I managed to start taking it regularly (which is a whole story in itself) things improved immeasurably. It's really hard looking after someone who won't get help, but keep trying - and good luck smile

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