A little history on this, DW is bipolar 1. As well as other symptoms of concern (all of which concern me greatly), she also unfortunately suffers from hyper-sexuality whilst manic. This seems to be the symtom that comes out most on every episode. Although I have to admit I'm more afraid of her erratic driving, but that's a different story.
She was diagnosed following a major episode some time ago when she slept with a friend. I was (and really still am) extremely angry with him (who I consider guilty of rape), but I can’t be angry with her as she really wasn’t in her right mind at the time.
Now, she came clean as soon as she was sane and got the help she needed. But she recently had another episode. The medication helps things, but she still suffers from the same symptoms when unwell.
During the episode, she has crossed some lines with another male friend, without actually sleeping with them. Without going into details, had she been sane I would be very angry about it. Under the circumstances, I’m not happy with him but I can move on. Her psychiatrist and CPN’s knew about these indiscretions, but advised she didn’t tell me anything that happened.
She says it stopped over a month ago. But I recently found out thanks to DD (2yrs next week) accidently pulling something up on her phone and inadvertently showed me. Personally, I’m angry that she had been lying to me as I knew something was being hidden and this was causing strain on our relationship.
I think that after episodes there needs to be honesty, otherwise the secrets drive a wedge into a relationship that is already going to be difficult. And she is going to be sane and know that she is keeping secrets and this can’t be good for her anyway. The psychiatrist says she should hide things from me because it will put undo stress on her. The other problem is that now that I know she’s been hiding things, how am I supposed to be certain she is being honest now? She swore that nothing was happening and that it was all in my head, but clearly it wasn’t.
What do you think? Is honesty the only way a relationship can survive with this problem? Or should the partner with the disorder hide things from the other to avoid stress?
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Mental health
Bipolar and honesty - what's your opinon
21 replies
TheKnightsWhoSayNi · 03/10/2013 08:56
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