Am I going mad?? (rather long)

[thechocolatemonster]

I just wanted to get a sanity check on this situation.

At the end of last week I bumped into a girl who had been at the same school as me. She was in the year above and it was quite a coincidence as we're in a different town now to where our school was. In fact we've been living on the same road for the last 2 years without even realising it. We agreed to meet up at the end of last week and swapped phone numbers.

Later in the week I texted her just to check that she was still on for meeting up - but she didn't respond. I wondered if I had the wrong number, but I'm pretty sure that I don't, and I thought that if I did have the wrong number perhaps she might try to contact me anyway. However - nothing. Not a dicky bird from her.

I'm now fairly sure that she's just ignored my text and doesn't want to meet up. However, I saw her in the street today (we live on the same road after all) and she just smiled a bit sheepishly. She was with other people and just wandered on after saying hi.

It's really strange. How much effort on her part would it have been to meet up for a coffee, for half an hour? Or even to make an excuse and put it off. I feel really embarrassed and don't really know what to do now. Do I just blank her when I bump into her on the street. We both have young children and our paths are bound to cross again.

I'm not depressed, but I'm finding it really difficult to make friends at the moment and this really hasn't helped. Any thoughts or advice would be welcome.

Thanks!

[Apteryx]

This kind of behaviour is so difficult to understand isn't it - when what someone says and what they do are different. I usually take what they do as the best indicator. It sounds like she's not interested in catching up with you to explore a friendship - and that's actually OK - I'm not everybodies cup of tea either, and neither will you be.

What is annoying, is when people are not able to be clear or honest about this - it's really bad manners and leaves the other party unsure about things, because of the mixed messages.

The best approach if your paths cross is to be polite and friendly, but don't bother making any friendly overtures. That way, you can be happy that you are a well-mannered person and think no more of it - don't be embarrassed, you were being nice.

Don't let this stop you trying to connect with other mums in your area, there are always lovely people around that want what you want, it just takes time and persistence to find them... :)

[MeAndMyBoy]

It does knock you when people do this doesn't it - always takes me aback when I've had it happen to me.

But I agree with Apteryx, just continue to be polite when you do see her and leave it at that.

The local library may have list of mother and toddler/child activities that you could get involved in to meet other mums in the area or possibly find out where the open houses are being run for your local NCT?

[milward]

Similar has happened to me - hold your head high - be polite to her & let her do the running to invite you. If she doesn't it's no loss for you. Believe in yourself. You made a move to be friends so have more social skills than her as she didn't respond to you. Best wishes xxx