I don't really know what I'm posting for, I just feel I need to get some thoughts down.
My mum is a functioning alcoholic, I'd almost prefer if she wasn't functioning because then atleast people would know.
I can't remember a time when it wasn't like this, it must be decades now, she doesn't care about the damage she's doing to herself. She's certainly deluded about the damage to my sister, my dad and I.
I've always ignored it or thought it was normal when I was younger but it's becoming too much now.
I miss my mum terribly, the one that's most familiar to me now is the drunk one.
I hate going back to university because I feel guilty for leaving my sister to deal with it, I'm scared she'll become like her.
I hate that I cannot enjoy a night out and I hate that people do not understand.
I realise that she spoils my sister and I because she knows, deep down, that she's messed up.
My friends do not understand why I don't drink, or don't invite them over, or don't make plans.
As each day passes I realise more that she deluded herself, and us, for years about her problem except it's becoming all our problems now.
Is it bad that I'm past wanting to help and I just want to let her get on with her self destruction and run?
Sorry for the rambling, I just needed to get it down and out of my head.
And sorry if it's in the wrong place.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
My alcoholic mother and I
10 replies
bahhhh · 08/07/2013 22:52
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.