Anxious about looking after DD

[HtotheS]

Husband has just woke. Me up and I feel so anxious about having DD (15months) all day.

We're going to soft play in morning and swimming in afternoon so pretty busy.

Any tips on how to feel less overwhelmed?

[Gumby]

Could you go with a friend?

Take deep breaths

Avoid caffeine as it heightens anxiety

[HtotheS]

No friends to go with. Only one I could go with as a very little baby 7weeks.

Will avoid coffee thank you

[HtotheS]

I didn't attend post natal groups as I was in hospital so have no friends works similar ages babies apart from one friend who works the other half of my job share at work

[HtotheS]

Sorry I'm not making much sense

No friends

Feel alone

[Arcadia]

That is a horrible feeling OP, those days can seem to stretch out ahead can't they, but I always find once I get to about lunchtime I realise that I will make it and I cheer up a bit! As your DD gets older she will be more company for you and you'll be able to have proper conversations etc. and it does feel less lonely and isolated. Also as she starts playing with other children more you will get to know their parents.
Do you manage to strike up conversations when you are swimming/at soft play, or are you quite shy?
At least you have a plan for the day, good to be out and about and busy

[HtotheS]

No I chat to the other mums but have never been brave enough to ask if try want to meet up. Your right free lunch I don't feel to bad as I know I have swimming then couple of hours before DH comes home. It's just at 7am when you know you have the whole day ahead of you x

[HtotheS]

Free?? I meant after lunch!

[galwaygirl]

Are there any toddler playgroups in your area? That's a good way to meet mums once babies are a bit older.
I feel for you - I know it's really tough but try to out yourself out there and suggest coffee or something with any friendly seeming parents from swimming. And if they are but don't take that to mean they aren't interested as people can be very busy these days.

What about trying to keep a diary of what went well on your days alone with DD so that you can look at it whe you worry about how the day will go and remind yourself you can do it.
I remember that feeling so well and to be honest still have it sometimes but you need to try and tell yourself you can do it and challenge the negative thoughts that are making you anxious xx

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

You really have my sympathy. The thought of having my DCs all day alone fills me with utter horror.

Why not take it easy getting out in the morning. go to soft play and then grab some lunch. Take DD out for a walk in the buggy and I bet she'll fall asleep, giving you a couple of hours you time before you go swimming.

To be honest there's no way I could do soft play and swimming with mine, the stress alone getting them changed and in the pool is too much.

I'm sure you'll be fine. When you get to the end of the day, take a deep breath and give yourself a pat on the back for getting through it in once piece. The more you do it, the easier it will get, so don't be too hard on yourself if you get a bit stressed. x

[TickleFlower]

Been to soft play which was fun! Hanging around at home is the hard bit for me. She's now gone down for a nap (fell asleep at high chair!)

Couple of hours just to chill out now - phew

Then swimming at 2:30.

Perhaps I should just spend all day at home but I get more anxious if I'm just sat about

[minicc]

Can you have a bit of lunch yourself and do a job around the house that's not too intense? Sort a bit of washing? Write some
Xmas cards? I sometimes have weeks with not much planned (usually at the end of the month) and i dread them! Well done for enjoying soft play!

[EldritchCleavage]

Try asking people to meet up with you outside the home, eg for activities. That might feel easier and you have the lure of an activity to encourage them to accept.

Libraries may have song sessions for babies which are a great local meet-up, so it could be worth investigating (this is how my SAH DH met other local parents).

[TickleFlower]

Surprise surprise! Tok my DD swimming and straight after I had my period start.

I really think my feeling anxious is linked to my hormones. Anyone else think that?

[TickleFlower]

When I'm at work I'm not anxious at all.

Now I'm at home with DD I feel super anxious.

I know I can look after her. I worry about getting really tired

[Arcadia]

Sounds like you could do with some kind of CBT OP, as you are having anxious thoughts around your time with your DD. do you know why you have is fear around getting very tired? have you had health problems that you are worried will return? Or are you worried you will get impatient with her? Does she sleep after lunch so you can have a nap or a rest when she does?

[Arcadia]

Sorry have this fear

[TickleFlower]

I'm having CBT at the moment. When I got ill I didn't sleep for 3 days so I'm very worried that ill get ill again

[Arcadia]

Just posted then the site went down! I had a bout of severe insomnia like that just after I had my DD and went a couple of nights without any sleep but despite my fears it has NEVER happened again so it is unlikely to happen to you like that, and your body and mind will not let you go without an essential amount of sleep. I still get a bit anxious about sleep but it does get a lot better over time.when did you have it?