Tablets not working? Or normal?

[Cat98]

I have been on paroxetine since November for depression and anxiety. Anyway - I think I generally feel better but some days I feel depressed again and back to how I was feeling before. There are definitely less of them if that makes sense - but is this normal? Does it mean I need a higher dose or different tablets? Like today- I feel so helpless and can't be bothered and near to tears.

[Vanillacandle]

Yes, it is normal! Paroxetine takes a good couple of months to start making a difference, and it will help to stabilise you up to a point, but you will still have days when you feel pretty awful. These attacks should get less frequent and less severe so long as you keep taking the tablets.

However, the pills aren't a cure, they merely reduce the symptoms, so a lot will depend on whether there are specific triggers for your depression and whether you can do anything about these.

Have you been offered talking therapies as well as the ADs? If you get a good counsellor or CBT, it can help you to deal with the downs when they come.

I hope this reassures you a bit and you start to feel better again soon.

[Cat98]

Thank you vanilla candle. I am feeling a little better today. I am on the waiting list for cbt but could be another ten months or so.

[Vanillacandle]

Hi Cat - Glad to hear you're feeling better. I can't believe the waiting list for CBT! Are you supposed to remember in 10 months time how you felt today? MH services in this country need a good shake-up.

Anyway, at least you have access to one kind of talking therapy - talking to us here on your thread and letting us know how you're getting on!

Hang in there kid, things will improve...

[NanaNina]

Hi Cat - I'm in the same boat as you. Still trying to recover from a severe episode of depression & anxiety - hospitalised for 3 months and on one of the old fashioned trycylic ADs. Since my discharge in July I have been climbing the hill to recovery and like you get days (sometimes several in a row) when I feel low, unmotivated and dispirited - the medics call them "blips" - I have a lovely CPN who says it is normal for this to happen but it is important how you deal with them - don't isolate yourself, go for a walk (which I've found definitely helps) talk to someone, and generally try to ride out the blip. Easier said than done I know but I think she's right.

I feel a bit low today and unmotivated but it's a dreary drizzly day. There is a thread on MH called "Blip blippety blip" (or something similar) might help you to have a look at that.

As VC has said the meds deal with the worst of the symptoms but the rest you have to do yourself. Do you have anything in your past that could be the cause. If so that needs dealing with really and CBT only deals with the "here and now" and anything more deep seated needs a psycotherapist. Mind any private counselling of any sort is around £45 - £50 per hour - out of the reach of most people.

Sending warm wishes and we must all tell ourselves "This Too Shall Pass" and it will.

[Cat98]

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate that you have taken the time to help me. I am having another low day today. I had a detailed nightmare last night where my toddler dc was killed. It was awful, horrible and I feel low today. I actually forgot to take my tablet yesterday. Stupid, I know. I was thinking about how I could just disappear and leave Ds with his Daddy. I feel like I can't cope sometimes. Other times I feel so normal. Are the nightmares normal? I get a lot of them.

CBT - I have wondered if it will be right as there are issues in my past, do they not address these at all then?

[Cat98]

i am going out this afternoon to a park with friends and dcs. Should I talk to them (they do know about the depression but I only told them recently) or just try and forget it and have a good, normal afternoon, what would be best for the blip? thank you.

[NanaNina]

Hi cat98 - I totally understand how you feel about wanting to "disappear" - I have felt like this so many times. Had the day from hell yesterday and just wanted not to be here. Slightly better today. It is one of the symptons of depression - it is one deceitful illness. It isn't that we want to die, it's just that we want the awfulness to go away don't we.

Re CBT - it does tend to focus on the "hear and now" and not about past trauma. For that you need something like pyscho analytical or person centred counselling. There is a therapy called CAT (cognitive analytical therapy) which deals with the "hear and now" and the "there and then" from the past, but you would not get this on the NHS. (Think I might have said this before, if so - sorry)

Glad you are managing to get out with friends. You are probably back now. I think you have to "suck it and see" as to whether you talk about your depression or try to be "normal" (whatever that means!). I think it's hard to talk about things like depression with small children around, as my memory of my children being small (over 40 years ago) is that you never really finished a conversation as the children needed attention.

Would it be possible for you to have a friend over or visit her and have a chat then about how you are feeling. I find it helps enormously to talk about it though it does depend on the way the friend views depression and it isn't an easy thing to understand, so you don't want anyone telling you to "pull yourself together" or somesuch.

Sending warm wishes