Emetophobe needing help.

[NeedToSleepZZZ]

I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have suffered from this phobia for 30 years. I am having CBT which is helping the surrounding issues (going out, eating) but I'm getting more and more frightened of how my behaviour is going to affect my DS. I'm cleaning soo much that I have to hide it now and wait for OH to go to work. My hands are like sandpaper that's cracked and bleeding which I can't hide though and he's banned me from washing up which makes me more anxious (I still do it though). I'm so tired as I'm not sleeping , this may be because of pregnancy anyway but I'm so worried about the future.

I love my son already in a way I hadn't expected and I'm really excited about him being born but so scared as well. I want him to have a normal childhood and I know he will need to be exposed to germs in order to develop his immune system but the consequences of not having a sterile house terrifies me.

I'm also worrying about giving birth even though I'm seeing a consultant and have told him I NEED anti emetics in labour. I' planning a home birth because the thought of being in hospital during noro season is so frightening. I'm not a martar and would love to have pain but will just use TENS and water as can't risk gas and air or pethidine (even consultant advised me against pethidine!) because of side effects.

Please can you tell me

1. How you cope(d) with all this?
   2)WHat anti emetics you were given and about your birth experience, were you sick?
   
   Sorry to go on for so long, feeling particularly bad today.

[NeedToSleepZZZ]

• meant 'would love to have pain RELIEF' not 'love to have pain'!!!

[DGirlsandBoysWontGetAnyToys]

Hello needtosleep.

I am another emetophobe - life long, like you - but I have 4 children so I am a bit further on in life than you.

I am not sure what I can say to you re your need for the house to be sterile as I only feel part of that anxiety in the event of actual illness in the family. It is good that you are having CBT. Perhaps the obsessive cleaning is something you could raise there?

On the giving birth side of things, I wanted to let you know my experience in the hope that it will reassure you a bit. As I said, I have had 4 children, all vaginal births, all in hospital. I have had, at various times, pethidine, gas and air, a (failed) epidural, and another drug called Meptid which is supposed to be a good alternative to pethidine for those who find P makes them feel sick.

I want you to know: I never once felt the least bit sick with any of these drugs, and did not feel sick as part of labour either. I know some people do feel sick or are sick, but not everyone is and you need to know that. How about morning sickness? Did you get that at all? You were brave enough to embark on pregnancy knowing you could get MS, so now you must be brave enough to think about pain relief.

Good luck to you.

[NeedToSleepZZZ]

Thank you for your reassurance, it's good to hear you didn't feel sick in labour, even with pethidine!! It's also good to hear that you've done this 4 times now, you are so brave. I did get MS but wasn't actually sick, just had to lie down for weeks as felt like I was on a rough sea and the nausea was unbearable. My gp gave me anti emetics which helped a bit as I wasn't eating and had ketones+++ in my urine.

This pregnancy was unplanned but very much wanted, I don't think I could have 'tried' to get pregnant because of the stress.

I have told my therapist about my cleaning and I'm trying to cut it down to every 2 days and most of the time I do well with that but have been getting bad again recently and think it's linked to getting closer to birth.

I'm on a forum called gut reaction which is so supportive but wanted to hear specifically from mums. It really does help to know how others cope. I just hope that one day someone invents a vaccine which means we can never be sick, I'd do anything to have that!

Thank you again.

[madmouse]

I'm not sure about that vaccine NeedTo because being sick is designed to save our life and sometimes it does (when we have eaten something wrong).


I have a different type of emetophobia - I get abuse related flashbacks when I am sick and end up panicked and with pulled muscles so i avoid it when I can.

My only contribution is to say that I had a horrid three day labour with a hormone drip, lots of gas and air and an epidural and I wasn't feeling sick even once.

[BeckyBendyLegs]

I have a phobia about being sick. I've had five pregnancies, three children (two MCs) and coped with the MS which has got steadily worse with each one (just felt sick, heaved a few times). I now have to cope with the fear of stomach bugs - which frigthens me more somehow.

[stressedbutluvem]

Hi I have been seeing a psychologist for ocd/phobia for the last 12 months. She insists quite categorically no matter what evidence i think i have that I am responding to a thought rather than a threat which is as bad as I think it is. Yes I am still anxious especially at the moment (leading up to Nov/Dec birthdays and up to Christmas are my worst times and when I have a tiny one who is, in my mind, dependant on me breastfeeding, but her theory is this: look at the rest of the population. Do they do the things i have been doing to try and keep safe? - Big Fat No - and are they ill all the time? No. She has even licked her shoes in front of me YUK. but in fairness she remains fine. Know exactly where you are coming from and I wish I could say I was over it but Im tons better than I was and I use a hypnotherapy tape from a session I had when thigs get very tough. Good Luck. I am expecting number 4 by the way, despite the anguish they are soooo worth it.

[nickinoo]

I have the phobia too. I have one child (3 year old) and she will stay a one and only as I cant take any more stress about sickness bugs. Im on high alert at this time of year and my health is starting to suffer now.

Labour was fine, I used the Tens machine and I had meptid as mentioned by an earlier poster. I did have one puff on the gas and air and that made me heave so I didnt use that again!

You will be just fine, and you will cope, because you have no choice. Good luck and let us know how you go.

[Avocadoes]

I have had emetophobia all me life. Sometimes it has been terrible, sometimes I have nearly got on top of it. I knew I had to defeat it once and for all when I first saw the fear in my daughter's eyes as she was sick and her mummy, the one she needed most of all, ran out of the room and left her alone screaming and retching. I realised I had really let her down and then I thought of all the others ways my phobia could f*ck her up,

Since then I have had CBT, I have had a more psychoanalytic therapy but most of all I have just not let myself show any phobic behaviors. Ever. I still worry and obsess but I never, ever act on any impulse to clean, avoid food, avoid social events, wash hands compulsively etc. And I never talk about it to anyone. And you know what? By refusing to behave in a phobic way, and by refusing to talk about my phobia, I have reduced it a lot. It will never be totally gone from my mind but it will also not impact on the lives of my children or my husband.

Re labour: I did have an anti-emetic shot as soon as I arrived at the hospital. I think it was cyclizine. I had felt sick before that and it did stop the sickness. It also spaced me out a little which helped cope with the pain. I would recommend it.

[Marne]

Hi, i am a Emetophobe, i managed to get through to pregnancys (both natural births) with out being sick. I now have a suply of anti-emetics in the house at all times as i can't cope at all if i get sick.

This phobia effects me every day, it effects where i go, how i clean the house and it effects my dd's (i really try not to let it).

I am having CBT and have tried hypnotherapy, the only thing that really helps is having a supply of anti-emerics at home, as soon as they run low i panic. When the dd's are ill i cope (i may shake and sometimes cry) but i am there with my dd's, dh will offer to deal with it but i would rather do it so i know everything is cleaned and i don't want to let my dd's down.

When i was i labour i didn't really feel siick, the G&A made me feel a bit dizzy so i stoped taking it, with dd2 i had an epidural and was fine (felt fine).

[OracleOfDelphinium]

NeedToSleep - there was a fantastic emet thread a while back. There are lots of us on here!

How do I cope: very badly. I worry, worry, worry all the time. I can't sleep because I'm worrying that one of the children might be sick at night. And so on. It is dreadful.

Labour: it was fine. I refused all drugs in case they made me sick (!); I ended up with a hideously complicated birth, but it was fine from a sick point of view!!

[countrylover]

Needtosleep - another reassuring story here. I have had two complicated labours both ending in emergency c-sections. I did not feel sick once during labour, having the epidural or the c-section itself. The only time I vomited (and it came from nowhere, I didn't even feel sick first) was when they gave me morphine. It literally hit my stomach and came straight back up. Even that wasn't too stressful as I personally find feeling sick worse than being sick.

I have been an emetophobe since I was about 14 although it wasn't until a few years ago that I discovered there was a name for it and I wasn't the only one in the world!

I too get very anxious in the winter and but I try desperately to keep it under control. I have had CBT sessions which have helped and like another previous poster I find by not giving in to the impulse to wash my hands all the time, never touch anything on public transport etc it does help ease the anxiety. Although I do find it extremely hard not to quizz DS1 on who has been off sick in his class, whether they were sick at school, if it was close to him..you know the drill!

It's certainly a very distressing condition but giving birth even with all the drugs is very unlikely to make you sick.

[NeedToSleepZZZ]

thank you so much for all your support, i'll have to check out the other emetophobe threads.

i had baby ben on 30th jan and it was actually an enjoyable experience (but not one i'm going to repeat... ever!) and i didn't feel any nausea at all! i have since dealt with ben bringing up milk and felt okay (but panicky afterwards). i have been having lots of panic attacks though every night and am going to see my doctor about it.

anyway, really wanted to say thank you as although i wouldn't wish this on anyone it's good to talk to people that understand. i hope you're all feeling brighter now that it looks like spring is on its way and the dreaded winter time is passing for another year.