Going out to work when you have social anxiety/depression - please help me

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I rang about a job (no real deep need to work, but it would help alot besides I want abit of financial independance) - it's only 3 hours a day, 4-7 cleaning in a school but I am terrified. It took alot alot of courage to even call about it, and she was like "can you start Monday" . I can't keep fannying around because I am like this, Idon't really know why I am like this. Anyway, I start Monday and I am so scared that one day I will just not be able to go. I have become one of lifes quitters - since my depression started I quit college 3 times, have quit jobs (there was reasons behind it, but still) and I can tell DH is expecting me not to actually do it (I do keep saying "if I can stick this job etc. etc.". I have put pressure on myself abit too becausethe only reason I won't be able to do this job is me. How do you cope with going out to work? I have thought about going to the GP to see if anything will help me get started, then once I get into the swing of it and it doesn't become a hurdle, wean myself off whatever (am on a low dose of seroxat ATM.) I am so scared of literally clamming up and hiding under the duvet.

[beenaghostlately]

ASLD I do hope you manage to go on Monday. Best of luck.

[MrsMorgan]

I am very very much like you.

Since I quit college after leaving school, I have quite several courses as an adult, and had several jobs where I have stayed for a maximum of a week.

I tend to get so anxious and stressed about things like courses and jobs that I suddenly feel utterly overwhelmed and talk myself out of going, even though most times I should have stayed.

I have just started a new job, and the first week was hell and I felt quite ill. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to get off the bus and walk in the opposite direction, as I felt so terrified by it all.

I am now about to go into my 5th week, and whilst i'd still not go if I had a choice, I no longer feel the dread that I did back in the first week.

I didn't want my kids to see me giving up again, as I wanted to set a better example to them, and that was my main motivation.

Good luck. Just take it slowly and don't expect too much of yourself. Tell yourself you will do a week and then reassess how you feel.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

DH has tried to help by reminding me I don't have to go, but it's for a large company so probably won't get another cleaning job if I do quit. My plan is to take it day by day - each day is about £20 so I will try and bribe myself to go, say once I get home I will order a little £20 treat for the boys or myself... THe good thing is it's going to be straight after the school run so the getting out of house and dressed problem has gone (I had to bribe myself into the school run - one day though I just could do it, and one afternoon I had to call DH to collect DS). It's so mentally exhausting though, I just wish I could go out and about like a normal person, not chatting away to myself in my head coaxing myself to do it

[MrsMorgan]

Oh i do the coaxing myself in my head all of the time, honestly.

I think because you know that you don't have to do it, that makes it alot harder.

This time, I did have to do it, else it was back to claiming benefits, and as my youngest child is 7, I was going to be made to go on JSA and take pretty much the first suitable (in their eyes) job that came up.

The fact that I didn't really have much choice made it easier though.

You might find you like the bit of time to yourself after a busy school run.

My last job before this one, was stacking shelves in a shop, and I did 6-10 four evenings a week. I did actually quite enjoy that, because it got me away from the madness that was tea/bathtime/bedtime etc. I stayed there for 4mths and would have stayed alot longer had I not split with xp.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

It should be nice to have a break - DH will be doing to dinner/bed/bath but I am still breastfeeding my 12 w/o so hoping it won't all go belly up for him and have to spend all evening trying to get baby to take a bottle/cup and then I come home to bedlam... I just wish I was normal, I cannot get my head around how people can get up every day and go to work etc. How on earth do they not crumble? I look at other people doing the school run and they look so normal whereas I have spent from 1pm psyching (sp?) myself up to go back again to pick DS1 up.

Thanks beenaghostlately:)

[beenaghostlately]

I'm totally ignorant about your specific condition but I do identify with trying to get one's head round how other people seem to find things so easy that I find difficult, and then deducing from this that I'm not normal.

I do feel so sorry for you. I hope that you managed to go on Monday but if you didn't, don't give up.