I could really do with some advice please...

[VeronicaMars]

Ok I found out a few days ago that my brother has suffered from depression for several years now. It has gotten quiet bad at times and the worst it been it lasted a few months.
None of my family know anything about it.
I was contacted by a concerned friend of his who told me.
He lives at home because he does shift work but when he isn't working he goes to his own house which is a good bit away and very secluded. He told her that when the depression is bad he goes there to just 'ride' it out.
He is not married, has no kids so he spends all this time there on his own as far as I know. He was seeing someone and she used to spend a lot of time there as well and although I know she is still on the scene I'm not sure how much time she spends with him.
Anyway my main reason for posting is that I have no idea what to do or whether to say something.
I hate the thoughts that he is alone in his house a lot of the time. He is distant and irritable when he is around my parents. He does seem low and when I was told it put a lot of sense to stuff and his behaviour iyswim.
He is not taking any meds at all, I have been told. He said to her that he feels like a freak.

What I'm asking if it was you woudl you say anything to him? Or if anyone out there suffers depression would you want your sister to say anything. I certainly don't feel I can ignore it.

I'm so confused.

[VeronicaMars]

I made it sound like he has more support than he might have, He is not in touch with this friend who contacted me about him. She said he broke contact with her six months ago. He also said that he has lost previous friends and gf's over it.
I think what I'm asking is how to approach it? Would it be easier fro him if his family knew? He is my only brother, there is only the two of us and I'm upset and worried about him.
Thanks for any advice you can give me.

[madmouse]

You do need to let him know that you know but do so with respect for the ways he copes with this.

I think the way forward is meeting him for a drink, or otherwise one-on-one and just say X has told me you are depressed and that you are finding life really hard at times. I love you and I want you to know that I'm here for you whatever I can do to help. And then it is really up to him to open up or not.

He can have any number of reasons why he has so far not chosen to confide in you - from being very private to worrying about burdening you with it.

A lot will depend on your relationship to be honest.

[VeronicaMars]

Thanks Madhouse, only problem is I can't tell him who told me.
I'll have to try and approach it another way although the things you said are exactly want I want to say to him.
I want him to know that it doesn't make him strange and that it is a medical condition that is very common.
God I have no experience of this at all.

[madmouse]

Let me be brutally honest - having been quite bad mentally myself - if one friend (by lack of present sibling) had come to me wanting to talk to me about my Mental Health without me having told them and refusing to tell me who told them it would not exactly help me. I would feel patronised and I would not take this friend into my confidence. Honesty is key when you are already fragile.