Problems at work and now I'm just not coping.

[sillyworrier]

I don't really know where to start but I'm really struggling.

I had a bad six months at work where things were really hectic and stressful. I didn't feel like I was coping very well but kept updating my line manager on certain aspects of work which were proving difficult for various external factors and seemed happy with what I was doing. Had an appraisal which confirmed I was doing well. It really reassured me for a few weeks and I was feeling so much more positive about things as it had given me a confidence boost and was much more productive as a result.

Then about 4 weeks later I got given a disciplinary because a couple of clients complained about certain things both at the same time. These were items which I had updated my line manager on constantly but basically I got the blame.

It has all knocked me for six now. I am an absolute state. I went to the drs to get some tablets for panic attacks straight after it happened but the past week it has just been unbearable so now they have put me on anti-depressants. I'm not sleeping, feel absolutely worthless and just want to cry all the time. The Dr asked if I wanted to be signed off sick but I said no as I couldn't see what good it would do with the disciplinary going on.

But I don't know what to do. I feel constantly sick. I feel absolutely worthless and just so let down as I feel that I tried to speak up when things wre tough and no one listened. To top it off they didn't carry the disciplinary procedure out in the correct way set out in the company handbook. I was not told i was being disciplined in advance - just told i was being given a written warning. I tried to appeal but instead of letting me have an appeal they just wrote back to tell me that the disciplinary still stands.

Problem is the fact they didn't do it the correct way doesn't matter at all. ACAS guidelines are only guidelines that only really come in to force if I was to take them to court basically.

I don't know what to do at all. I don't know how I can cope anymore. We have guests arriving for a BBQ today which will take my mind off things but right now I just feel so teary. Any advice?

[CupcakesHay]

Is there anyone in HR/personnel you can speak to? Is there another manager in a different dept you can talk through this with, or a colleague.

Have you got evidence to show that you constantly updated the boss?

I'm not very good in situation's like yours, and I'd react in exactly the same way as you. You need to try and stay calm and ask for help within your company - especially becasue you got a good review - they will be reluctant to lose you - I'm sure they think they are helping to try and get you back on track.

Whatever happens - I hope it works out ok. And try and have fun with your friends today.

[sillyworrier]

Thank you. There is no one in HR really or a colleague that I can talk to. They know about the disciplinary and must know it has been done in totally the wrong manner.

I don't have evidence on everything. My line manager at the time (since changed straight after appraisal) sat right opposite me so we always just spoke. I have evidence for one thing that happened a year and a half ago that a client complained about recently - it states clearly what happened in the email trail and quite clearly shows that it was not my fault! But I mentioned this in the letter where I said I wanted to appeal and it all just got ignored. They aren't interested.

My confidence has taken such a knocking and I'm not a confident person anyway. I just don't know how to carry on because getting through each day at work is unbearable. I'm constantly on edge now which means I'm struggling to concentrate. I feel like such a failure yet I don't fully believe this is my fault but I have a habit of blaming myself for everything so I'm finding it difficult to accept that it isn't my fault, if that makes sense.

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

[single1ds]

hi sillyworrier
sorry you are going through this. It can feel like they are all ganging up on you cant it? well, dont let them! you are just as smart as them! you need to get some strengh from somewhere to fight this and not let them walk over you.Do you have a union rep at work? give yourself some slack, you are only human. think of things you could have done differently to prevent this and put this across in a positive way to them if it were to happen again, how could you prevent it? do have a health thing at work. my work has a private number you can ring for telephone councelling/advice. think you need a little time out to try to get it in perspective and not let it take over your life. concentrate on the positives from your appraisal and bring those up again. do not let them ignore you appeal letter. how dare they? honestly you have just as much to be there as they do, hope you enjoyed BBQ. make them fully aware you have lots of people to back you up (even if you dont!) and they may back down a bit!!

[rookiemater]

Do you have a union ? If you do even if you aren't a member then get in touch and they may be able to offer you some support.

[alypaly]

hi sillyworrier........im sorry you have been treated so badly. I do know exactly how you feel and its all so unfair.

Ive just had a similar thing happen to me where I complained to the most senior person in the building about health and safety aspects and because there was not a manager in the building I have had a letter saying that i have commited an inappropriate breech of confidentiality.
I have always had exemplary behaviour and the letter is full of further lies too.

I had to leave work on that day as i was trembling due to the stress i was placed under against my will and i have been unwell since. My head is full of rubbish and like you I am constantly tearful. I cannot get the lies out of my head and it is making me so ill.

Why is it ,when you are an honest and truthful person, there is always someone there to make you feel crap and insecure. I too feel worthless as i have been made to feel like a liar. I have totally lost my confidence and am now afraid of taking on anything involving any responsibility. I too havent been able to sleep as all this is whizzing round my head. I dont want my job back now as i wouldnt work for them again, but i feel as if they have assassinated my character without allowing me to say anything in my defence. I know i did everything correctly except for walking out,but that was due to extreme stress and my inability to cope. I too have had to take anti depressants and sleeping tablets since and i still cant sleep

[alypaly]

i am still trembling and tearful 10 days down the line. Maybe i should stop caring and bury my head in the sand like some managers do when someone tells them the truth.

Companies dont deserve staff who have good intentions and are 100% honest. Im sure i would get further in life if i was a bullshitter and a liar.

Ooooh I really do not feel well tonight, I have cried nearly all day and my brain is like scrambled egg.

[alypaly]

dont know about you sillyworrier ,but this ordeal has left me with a really tight chest too...i cant believe how much it has got to me. i wish i could just forget it all and move on,but i feel so insulted.

I hope your BBQ made you feel better,but i have found it really difficult to concentrate or enjoy anything since. I have gone really introverted and quiet. I am lost

[alypaly]

you there sillyworrier,how are you feeling today?