Boss paid for my office to go out for a night out this month as we were all fantastic at sales etc and he wanted to treat us all. Was supposed to be on Friday night, but he asked us to change it to Thursday and then he couldn't make it. He told the office manager to book somewhere - her choice. She chose a restaurant in the next town. She never bothered asking how anyone was getting there or back - we were left to make our own arrangements. 3 of us can't drive, so I asked my colleague (A2) I she wanted to share a taxi home, to be probably no later than 1am. She said yes.
We were all looking forward to going out and having fun.
In the restaurant, A2 hardly ate anything (didn't like food) and had 2 double vodka and cokes. A1 asked if we were getting a taxi, we said probably - they didn't offer us a lift, nor the other non driver (who was offered a lift by my other colleague). No one else offered us lifts.
Then A1 and A2 decided to go to nearby bar - others all left, and me and A2 went to the bar, as we were looking forward to having a bit of fun and a nice night out. They bought A2 2 more double vodkas and cokes. A3's housemate turned up and took them home (in the company car again), we walked to bus station, but had missed last bus (gone 11pm), so called a taxi back to our town. Both felt we didn't want to go home just yet as it was too early, so stopped near work to find a pub to have another drink in - most were closed, but we found one and had 2 drinks in there each (she bought them!). I really did not see any problem with going to an extra pub for a bit(apart from making sure I didn't buy alcohol for her - it was up to her if she wanted to try her luck getting served etc with being underage - she is 17).
Then she "copped off" with 2 separate lads and got their numbers. We left at 12.30pm and we were heading towards the taxi rank when she suddenly decided no way in hell was she going home yet, and rang one of the lads to come and meet her to "go somewhere" - I tried for 20 mins to talk her out of it thinking she will get attacked or murdered if she went off with them, she ran off to meet this lad and his friend. I was left on my own in the street, and could have been mugged or attacked by anyone passing. They came walking back with her saying they were going home as everywhere was shut. Luckily they were decent and I told them she had to get home as we had work next day and I felt responsible for getting her home as it was an official work night out. I then had an argument with her for the next 1/2 an hour nearly with her saying "you're not my manager, I was spoiling her night, I'm not going home, I'm going the shop to get some booze and sit in the park". I said in the absence of A1 then yes, I was her manager, and she couldn't behave like that on a work night out - she had to go home. She said she didn't care about her job - I was definitely bothered about mine though!!
I eventually got her in a taxi, but she got out her side near her house, whilst it was moving saying she felt ill and she wasn't going home, but started walking to her house. I could not force her back in as that is assault and kidnapping - I didn't know what to do. She was falling in the hedge and staggering everywhere.
Taxi refused to wait to see if she actually went in her door safely and told me to either get out with her or carry on home - I had to go home as there was no way I could have risked walking from there and didn't have enough credit to ring another taxi. Texted her when I got home - no answer, she eventually rang me at about 2.15am (being sick as she was talking to me) saying she was home. I went bed, DP went mad next morning as I was in so late, as dd had been ill, and he didn't believe where I'd been and why - said I was "out slagging it" (I most definitely wasn't!) So we have rowed over it.
I went work, got in 15 mins early - found out she had rung in sick, saying she had been up all night being sick from too much drink. No idea what she'd had told A1 on the phone - they didn't tell me, apart from "Bosses were "not impressed" with her" - my boss hardly spoke to me, just kept throwing work at me all morning (usually ignores me, so I knew he was pissed off).
Colleagues (who I thought were my "friends") and DP have said it's my fault she didn't turn up, as I was responsible for her - I argued with DP that A1 and A3 had arranged the night out for work, and should have made sure we had taxis etc he said that's not the point - I should have left her on her own to go off and be killed etc. Colleague said I shouldn't have gone to the pub after. I really don't see how that makes me the one in the wrong - no one forced her to go and drink - she wanted to go, then wouldn't go home. If she had turned up with a hangover it would not have been so bad - the problem is because she went off with me and didn't make it to work. I used to go out and get plastered every night as a teenager, and alway made it in work next day, so I assumed everyone else is the same - after all A1 and A3 spend their lives going out in the week, getting bladdered, and boasting how bad they feel at work next day.
It is "expected" and encouraged to drink as much as possible on these work nights out - it is not a good night if you go home sober.
If I thought for a minute she was going to behave like that, I would never have offered to share a taxi - I would have just gone home on my own after the meal.
She is getting a verbal warning on Monday, I am not in until late Mon morning, so I will not be there to give my side of it or hear what goes on.
I like her, but she has lied about things before - e.g. she asked me for work to do as she was bored, then told the other manager I had "told her she had to do it".
She doesn't remember what she does when she drinks, so A1 and A3 could tell her anything - and she will believe them e.g oh I left her to walk or got her drunk etc.
A1 and A3 will make out it was my fault to the bosses and everyone else probably - DP says they have deliberately set me up as they don't like me and I fell for it, as they know what she's like better than me.
At the xmas party, A2 got out of the minibus home on the motorway and refused to get back in - everyone had to leave her at the services on her own and she rang her mum to come and get her ( I wasn't with her then).
When we went out last month, she came in work hungover next day and had to be sent home.
Before xmas she went out (I didn't go) with work - got drunk and they put her in a taxi home - she phoned in sick next day.
She has phoned in sick a couple of other times as well, due to drink.
If anyone has got this far reading - well done!! I would appreciate some advice on how to come out of this on Monday without the entire company turning against me. Dp says I have damaged my reputation/career now forever in the eyes of my bosses/colleagues.
I am hoping on the next night out, if I don't go out; she will do the same again and they will all see it is her that is the problem, not anyone she is with.
But this means I can't go out again then - cos if I do, I will get lumbered with trying to get her home - and if I leave her to make her own way home, they will all blame me if she does get murdered or something. Or A1 and A3 will make a big show of giving her a lift home to make me look bad e.g "oh she's safe with them, but look what happens if she stays out with me"
If I take the blame for her not turning up for work, I will get a warning probably - and I really don't feel I should.
DP says at his work I definitely would face disciplinary and she would be sacked as we carried on the night out after the official "work night" had finished - which is grounds for disciplinary as misconduct. I don't see why we should have to go home at half past ten when I rarely go out (hardly ever since having kids) - I want to make the most of being out, and not get all dressed up to sit in a restaurant for an hour and then go home to watch telly until bedtime - if it had been Friday when we went out, as originally planned, then she'd have had all weekend to recover and we would all have laughed about it on Monday morning. I don't feel I can ever be the same with her again after this.
I really think I am doomed whatever I do.
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Work night out problems - sorry - extremely long!!
35 replies
Charlene1 · 23/02/2008 21:51
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